


Return To Me My Love

by XoSaveMeFromMyselfXo



Category: My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-05 11:49:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 79
Words: 93,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17918231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XoSaveMeFromMyselfXo/pseuds/XoSaveMeFromMyselfXo
Summary: Frank and Gerard have always had a complicated relationship but now that Franks band has finally made it will their marriage, or Gerard, survive?





	1. Chapter One

"Oh fuck sir right there" I pant out as Frank thrusts into me hard, the whole bed shaking as he fucks into me relentlessly, his hand wrapped around my throat while my arms are tied to the bed posts, my legs being held up towards my chest by ropes as Frank fucks me like there's no tomorrow. "Do you want to cum tonight?" He snaps and I nod my head, biting on my bottom lip as I know I'm in trouble for speaking out of turn but I was so caught up in the pleasure. "Then you keep your fucking dirty whore mouth shut or I'll shut it for you and you won't be cumming ever again" he hisses at me as he keeps fucking me, using my body to pleasure himself and I nod frantically, squeezing my eyes shut and biting harder on my bottom lip as I struggle to keep in my moans and pleas, Franks hand tightening around my throat as his other comes up to slap me across the cheek as he hisses out "Open your fucking eyes" and my eyes immediately shoot open, staring up at him and he barks out "You keep your eyes on me you worthless whore so you remember I'm the only one ever allowed to see you like this, I'm the only one who ever gets to touch you." I nod slightly, keeping silent and a few thrusts later Franks hips snap forward harshly and I feel him cum inside me before he quickly pulls himself out and the last two spurts cover my worn, stretched out hole making it almost impossible for me to keep quiet. Once he's done Frank climbs off the bed and crosses the room to pick up a discarded towel, cleaning himself off before he pulls on sweatpants and as he goes to leave the room he turns back and says "You can stay there for a while and think about what you did and maybe when I come back I might let you go." I whimper softly as Frank leaves the room and closes the door behind him, not only for the physical discomfort I'm in but also because I'm disappointed in myself for disappointing Frank and disobeying what he told me. I let my eyes slip closed after a minute, thinking about earlier when we were at a bar, celebrating the guys last night home before they head out on tour and Frank and I had agreed as a going away present that I would sub completely for the night. I'd had to go to the bathroom so badly so I begged for permission and Frank had let me go with the strict instruction that I was not to talk to anyone, just go straight there and back but on my way back across the crowded club I was stopped by a guy who started talking to me and I didn't want to seem rude so I spoke, trying to explain I couldn't talk but Frank had seen and marched straight over, roughly gripping my arm and dragging me back to the booth with the other guys, hissing in my ear that I would pay dearly for disobeying. When we got home Frank had laid me over his knee and spanked me mercilessly with a paddle until I couldn't take it anymore, tears streaming down my face and my bottom lip was almost chewed through in an attempt to keep my whines of protest and pain in. Once the spanking was over I was tied to the bed before being tied how Frank wanted me and then used purely for his pleasure.

I don't notice Frank coming back into the room but suddenly he's there, his hand gently touching my raw red ass, his hand feeling so cool against the still heated skin that will be black tomorrow and I flinch as my eyes snap open and he smiles softly and says "You want to cum now?" I nod frantically, my dick still hard and throbbing and he gently starts untying my legs, easing them back down onto the bed for me before he unties my right hand and says "Go for it baby" and I feel a little disappointed as I reach down to grab myself, starting to stroke for a few seconds before Frank chuckles and gently slaps my hand away saying "I'm not that mean" before he leans down and sucks me into his mouth. I can't help the small whine that leaves my throat as pleasure spreads through me and a few minutes later I pant out "Ssssir" and he keeps going, ignoring my warning and I buck up and cum down his throat, Frank milking me of every last drop before pulling away. While I'm coming down Frank starts to untie my other hand and I turn my head to look at him and pant out "Thank you sir." He smiles warmly at me before bringing my now free wrist to his mouth, pressing soft kisses around the red mark from the tie before he gently lays it beside me and does the same with my other wrist. "You took your punishment so well baby, I'm so proud of you" he tells me and it makes me smile even wider as he lets go of my arm and tells me to roll over so he can put cream on my ass.

After we are cleaned up Frank settles in bed beside me, pulling me into his chest and I snuggle into him as much as I can. "Sir" I start softly and Frank chuckles and says "Frank" and I know it's ok to relax again. "Frankie I'm gonna miss you so much." "I'm gonna miss you too, but you're gonna come visit right?" "Yeah of course" I tell him and his arms tighten around me even more. "I bet the time will just fly by" he tells me, trying to cheer me up but it doesn't really work so I softly say "Maybe for you." Frank lets out a soft sigh before saying "Baby" and he cups my chin, tilting my head up and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. I kiss back, clutching at him and kissing him desperately and Frank just pulls me even closer as he kisses back, knowing it's what I need right now.


	2. Chapter Two

I wake up early the next morning while Frank is still sleeping and slide out of bed, pulling on a pair of his sweatpants off the floor before I cross the room and grab his guitar, hiding it in the back of the closet behind some clothes before climbing back into bed again, curling up against Franks side until he wakes up. Once his eyes open he rolls onto his side and wraps his arm around me, pulling me tight against him as he leans in and presses his lips to mine. When we pull apart he pulls back a little and smiles as he looks into my eyes and I send a small smile back before saying "Don't go." Frank lets out a small sigh as he says "Baby, please don't do this." I frown as I try to roll over away from him but he tightens his arm around me and keeps me where I am. "Come on baby you know how huge this is for me and the rest of the guys. I know it sucks but you're gonna come out and visit and we can still call and Skype each other. Please don't fight with me this morning, I just wanna have a good time with you before I go." "But you're leaving for a year" I say softly, feeling my eyes well with fresh tears and Frank gently cups my cheek as he says "I know the schedule is long but I get small amounts of time off and I will be right back here with you every chance I get. Please don't cry baby." I sniffle softly and nod my head, leaning forward to bury my face in his neck and he just holds me while I calm down again. We spend the whole morning in bed, having soft, slow, loving sex and when we finally have to drag ourselves out we take a shower together before Frank gathers up his already packed bags while I stand in the kitchen looking out the window and trying not to cry again, feeling overwhelmed at how long the tour schedule is. "Babe have you see my guitar?" He calls out as he comes into the room and I can't help the smirk that crosses my face and I fight to keep my face neutral as I turn around and say "Didn't you have it with all your stuff yesterday?" "Yeah, did you move it or something?" "No, I guess you can't go if you don't have a guitar to play" I tell him and Frank laughs before saying "Come on babe, where did you hide it?" And I am unable to remain straight faced anymore as Frank comes over and wraps his arms around me. "You can't go Frankie" I tell him as I bury my face in his neck and he chuckles softly and says "Baby I have to but I'll call you everyday I promise. We'll get through this baby I swear." I nod, accepting his words and we pull apart but link hands as I lead him back towards the bedroom and open the closet, digging his guitar out. Frank chuckles and calls me a dork as he takes the guitar and puts it in the hallway with the rest of his bags.

Half an hour later Frank is doing his final check, making sure he has all his stuff and we leave the apartment, hailing a cab and heading to where the tour bus is, ready to take him away from me. After all his stuff is loaded onto the bus we go inside and sit in the front lounge while the other guys make last minute checks and Frank holds me close in his lap and kisses me breathless. "Ok lovebirds, we gotta go" Ian interrupts to tell us and I sigh softly and climb off Franks lap, leading him back outside where we share another lingering desperate kiss before he pulls away and brings his hands up to cup my cheeks. "You can do this baby, we can do this. Just three little weeks and then you're flying out to meet me and then we're flying to London and it's gonna be amazing." I smile and nod, fighting the urge to cry and wrap myself around him and not let go. "I love you, more than I ever could have imagined I could love anyone" he tells me as he stares into my eyes and I smile as I say "I love you too baby, take care of yourself." "You too babe" he says as he leans in for another kiss which is once again interrupted by Ian shouting out "Lets fucking go" from the bus door and we both turn and flip him off, making him laugh as we lean in and share another quick kiss before Frank heads back towards the bus and away from me and Ian jumps down and starts jogging towards me, brushing past Frank before he reaches me, wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up as he spins me around. "Don't worry Gee, he'll be just fine." I smile and nod as new tears start to silently roll down my cheeks and Ian puts me back down and gives me one last squeeze before letting go and he waves before turning and jogging back over to the bus, climbing on and just as the doors shut Frank waves to me and I wave back, blowing him a kiss and he blows one back as the door closes, separating us and the bus slowly pulls away.


	3. Chapter Three

I come home from a really terrible day at work, stressed out and upset. The whole day nothing went right, I was late leaving for work and therefore late getting there which got me in trouble, I dropped a box of paints and broke some of them which I was told my pay would be docked for and my manager was in a shitty mood all day which made the day stretch on longer and to top it all off halfway home it started to rain so by the time I dragged myself through the front door I am absolutely soaked. I sigh in relief as I step into the warmth of the apartment, closing the door behind me and I kick off my shoes, shrugging off my jacket as I make my way down the hallway to the bedroom where I stop in my tracks when I see the whole room dimly lit by hundreds of candles and Frank is kneeling in the middle of the bed. "Babe" I gasp out as I look around with a huge smile on my face and Frank climbs off the bed and walks over to me, reaching up and cupping my face in his very warm hands, sending a shiver down my spine with how cold my whole body is. "What happened baby?" He asks softly, concern written all over his face. I sigh softly before telling him about my terrible day as his hands work on my clothes, stripping them off me and once I'm fully naked he steps forward and pulls me into his warm chest, sliding a hand into the back of my hair and guiding it down so I can rest my head on his shoulder as I finish my story. "Oh baby it's alright" he says softly as his other hand gently strokes up and down my back and I melt into his chest, his body heat warming me up perfectly. "Come lay down with me and I'll make it all better." I let Frank guide me to the bed and once I'm on my back he tugs his boxers off before climbing over me, trailing soft kisses down my neck and across my collarbones as he whispers out "You're so beautiful baby, I love you so much." I let out a soft groan as his lips brush against my most sensitive spot on my neck and as he pulls back to smile down at me I hear a loud piercing repetitive noise and I frown as I look around, trying to find the source of the noise and when I turn my head back Frank is gone from above me.

My eyes snap open and I let out a deep sigh as I sit up, reaching out to slam my hand down on the alarm, shutting it up. I slump back into the pillows, letting out another sigh as I roll my head to look over at Franks very cold side of the bed, thinking about the last time we spoke. The band is now two weeks into the tour and even though Frank promised to call every day two days in it became very obvious that that was an unrealistic promise and since then we have only talked a few times. It's been four days since we spoke last and even though I am starting to become used to being alone it's not getting any easier. My days all consist of the same routine now, waking up alone in the morning, showering and making myself breakfast before I head off for work and when I come home I sit on the couch and stare mindlessly at the tv or draw until I can't keep my eyes open anymore, constantly sneaking glances at the front door wishing Frank would walk through it even though I know he won't before dragging myself to bed and curling up in the too cold sheets, thinking about Frank until I fall asleep. I slowly drag myself out of bed, finally having a day off and I stumble into the kitchen for some coffee and as I start the machine I hear my phone start to ring and I nearly trip myself over in my haste to get to it, running down the hall and scooping it up off the bedside table to see that it's Mikey calling, not Frank. "Hey Mikes" I greet him, trying to not sound disappointed but from his tone of voice I know I failed. "Hey Gee, what are you upto today?" "Nothing, it's my day off so probably just laying around the house watching tv." I hear Pete saying something I can't make out in the background and Mikey chuckles before saying "Cancel those plans then, we're going out." I chuckle back and Mikey tells me where to meet him and Pete in two hours time. After we hang up I go back into the kitchen and my coffee is done and just as I sit down and go to take a sip my phone starts ringing again so I sigh and stand up, walking back down the hall to the bedroom, wondering what Mikey forgot to tell me this time but my heart starts to flutter and my face breaks out into a massive grin as I see Franks name on the screen, the dull ache I've been feeling in my whole body the last four days fading to nothing as I hit the answer button and bring the phone to my ear.


	4. Chapter Four

"Frankie" I almost yell into the phone as I flop back onto the bed, excitement coursing through my body and I can't lay still. Frank chuckles softly before saying "Hey beautiful, how are you?" "So much better now" I tell him and he sighs softly and says "I miss you so fucking much babe, that's the only downside to this whole touring thing." "I miss you too, the apartment is too empty and quiet without you and the bed is too cold at night." "Aww baby, every night I wish you were here to curl up in my bunk with me, I miss your smell and your warmth and the way you twitch in your sleep and make cute little noises and the way your body fits against mine perfectly, like we're made for each other." "Frankie" I whimper out, tears welling in my eyes and Frank shushes me softly. "Don't cry my love, please. We'll see each other again so soon I promise, just six more days." "Six very very long days" I add and Frank chuckles and says "There's actually something I've been thinking about and I asked the guys last night and they agreed so when you come out and join us there's something we need to talk about." "What?" I ask, feeling fear spread through me that it could be something bad. "You'll have to wait babe" he tells me and I pout to the empty room, just wanting to know already. The rest of our call passes quickly and way too soon Frank has to go for sound check and when I look at the clock I see I should be meeting Mikey very soon. We say our very lingering goodbyes, neither of us really wanting the call to end but yelling in the background on Franks end cuts us short and we end the call, both of us expressing our feelings for each other but neither of us sounding happy.

The next five days pass quicker than I thought they would and I start my two week vacation, spending the whole time on tour with Frank and I'm so excited I can barely sleep. The next morning when I drag myself out of bed I run around the apartment checking last minute things, making sure all the widows and the balcony door are locked properly and everything is clean and tidy before I grab my bags and head down onto the street, grabbing a cab and heading to the airport. Once I'm on the plane the excitement is so much that I can barely sit still but ten minutes after takeoff anxiety creeps in and I start to shake, my breathing getting lower and more choppy and I realise I should have taken Franks advice and taken something to help. The whole flight I spend clinging to the arm rests on my seat, my nails digging into the upholstery with my eyes clenched shut until the captain makes his announcement that we will be landing in the next ten minutes. After the plane is landed I reopen my eyes and make my way off the plane on shaky legs, feeling sick and shaken up and I stumble along with all the other passengers until someone rushes forward out of the crowd waiting and picks me up off the ground, spinning me around and I lean forward and bury my face in his neck, letting out a few stray tears of relief that it's finally all over and I'm here. "Oh baby, you didn't take anything did you?" Frank asks softly as he pulls back, putting me down again but keeping one arm wrapped around my waist to support me while his other comes up to stroke down my cheek. I shake my head and Frank shakes his head at me as he smiles and says "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're alright on the flight tomorrow." I nod and allow myself to be guided along to claim my bags before we make our way out of the airport, Franks arm around my waist the whole time and random flashes keep going off and I turn my head to look at him and Frank chuckles and says "I'm gonna have to buy every magazine these pictures end up in just so I can see your beautiful face." "Oh my god I look so bad right now" I whine as I lean over and bury my face in Franks neck and he just chuckles and kisses the top of my head before guiding me to keep walking, telling me that I could never look bad.


	5. Chapter Five

When we make it outside there is a small crowd of fans waiting for Frank and he grips my hand tighter as he leads me through the crowd to the waiting car, letting me get in before he turns back and starts signing autographs, refusing pictures and hugs, explaining he's in a rush but it doesn't stop a few girls from trying to get pictures and Frank sighs and gives in, most of the crowd having moved along already and the few girls and guys left behind start asking to meet me and I slide across the back seat more, moving away from them and I hear Frank say "Look guys now really isn't the best time, he just had a very long flight, come to the shows and you might get to meet him." A few seconds later he climbs in beside me and the driver pulls out into the traffic, driving us across the city as Frank slides closer to me and starts mouthing at my neck, my eyes slipping closed for a few seconds, a soft groan escaping me before I remember where we are and I reopen my eyes, pulling away from Franks touch as I say "Baby not here." Frank sighs, looking disappointed before his face lights up and he says "That's ok cause we're here." The car pulls over and when I look out the window I see we are outside a fancy looking hotel and I turn to look at Frank as I say "That's a very fancy looking tour bus." Frank chuckles and leans in to press a kiss to my forehead before saying "I've missed you so much," taking my hand and pulling me from the car with him.

We go inside and Frank leads me straight past reception and into an elevator, holding my hand the whole ride up to our floor before the doors open and he leads me down the hall to our room. As he unlocks the door Frank quickly steps around to stand behind me and his hand slides up to cover my eyes as he presses against my back and guides me into the room with his body. "Baby what are you doing?" I giggle as I let him lead me in and Frank presses a soft kiss to the side of my head as he removes his hand and I gasp softly in shock, the bed and floor surrounding it covered in rose petals and when I turn around to face Frank again he smiles and says "You have no idea how much I missed you. I love you so much baby." "How about you show me then?" I ask softly, leaning in to rest my forehead against his and Frank chuckles and slides his hands around to rest of my lower back before he slides them lower and squeezes my ass softly as he pulls me closer to him, pressing forward and grinding his crotch against mine. "Frankie" I gasp into his mouth as I shift my hips and grind against him and Frank growls softly as I guides me back towards the bed, easing me down until I'm on my back with Frank straddling my waist, kissing me breathless. We make out heatedly as we tug at each other's clothes until we're both naked and Frank guides me further back into the middle of the bed, his lips trailing soft sucking kisses up and down my neck as he reaches out and grabs the lube on the mattress nearby, slicking up his fingers before working two inside me, making me squirm and press down against them, desperate for more. "Frankie please" I pant out, wrecked already and Frank hums against my skin as he pulls his fingers out and slicks himself up, pressing the head of his dick to my hole, hesitating for a second as we lock gazes, his face hovering just inches from mine as he starts to slide his way inside me, my muscles slowly stretching to accommodate his length and I groan in pleasure, the feeling sending sparks of pleasure up my spine. Once he's all the way in Frank starts a slow steady rhythm, fucking into me deep and hitting all the right spots to drive me crazy and I can't hold back my moans, bucking my hips down to meet his thrusts until I decide it's not enough anymore and I surge up and flip us over, bracing my hands against Franks chest to push myself up as I start riding him, my head thrown back as I groan out in pleasure and Franks hands slide up to grip my hips, helping speed up my movements as he sits up and I lean down and seal my lips to his, sliding my tongue into his mouth as I work myself in his lap and Frank moans into the kiss before breaking it. "Fuck I've missed you so much" he pants out and I smile as I say "I missed you too baby, haven't been stretched like this in weeks." "Mmmm missed your tight little ass" Frank groans out as he starts bucking up to meet my bouncing, one of his hands sliding between our bodies to grip my dick and he starts stroking me fast, flicking his thumb over the head on every up stroke and a few strokes later I throw my head back and cum hard all over his chest and stomach, a loud groan escaping my lips and Franks body tenses beneath me and I feel him pulsing inside me, filling me with his cum. "Oh fuck" I pant out as I slump forward again, burying my face in Franks neck as jolts of pleasure shoot up my spine and I go boneless, Franks hands sliding around to rest on my lower back, holding me close while I come down.

After we've pulled apart and cleaned up we climb into bed together naked, cuddling up as tight as we can and I seal my mouth to Franks, kissing him like we don't need air and Frank wraps his arms around me as he kisses back just as eagerly. "Baby we should really get some sleep" Frank says softly when we break for air and I pout as I say "But I haven't seen you in so long." "I know baby but we have a big day tomorrow and we'll be together the whole time I swear. Aren't you tired?" I nod slowly and Frank smiles and says "I can't believe you're actually here with me," leaning in to press another soft kiss to my lips. "Get some sleep my love, I'll be right here with you the whole time." I sigh in defeat, knowing Frank won't take no for an answer as I bury my face in Franks neck, my arm wrapped around his waist and Franks arm tightens around me as I slowly drift off to sleep, a massive smile on my face.


	6. Chapter Six

I wake up the next morning alone in bed and I groan softly as I roll onto my back, rubbing at my eyes before I start to stretch and I realise I'm not in my bed and when I sit up I see I'm in a hotel room and I remember my night with Frank, a smile pulling at my lips until I realise he's not in bed with me and I can hear the faint sound of running water so I climb out of bed, wrapping the sheet around my naked body as I cross the room and let myself into the steamy bathroom, closing the door behind me before approaching the shower cubicle. Frank turns his head to look at me through the glass door, a huge smile on his face as he pushes it open and says "Hey baby, you coming in?" I smile back and nod as I drop the sheet and step into the cubicle, Frank pulling me against his body and under the hot spray as he reaches out with his other hand and pulls the door closed again. Once the door is closed Franks other hand starts gently rubbing up and down my back as he starts to kiss me and we end up making out heatedly, my back pressed against the wall until we pull apart for air and Frank pants out "We better get a move on babe, we need to get to the airport soon." I nod as Frank steps back, separating us and we quickly wash before we get out and dry off, going back into the room and Frank pulls on his jeans as I go through my bag for something to wear, Frank asking if he can borrow a clean shirt.

After we're both dressed Frank goes through the small bag he has in the room and he pulls out a small bottle of pills, swallowing down one before shaking a second into his hand and offering it to me. I open my mouth and let him put the pill on my tongue before I take the bottle of water he's offering me and I swallow the pill while Frank grabs our bags and leads me from the room, both of us heading down the hallway towards the elevator when someone wraps their arms around me from behind and picks me up off the floor, spinning me around and I squeak in surprise as I'm set back on my feet and I spin around to see Ian behind me. "Oh my god" I gasp out as I lunge forward and wrap my arms around his neck, his arms sliding around my waist and we hug for a few long seconds before pulling away again. "How are you?" Ian asks as he picks up the bag he dropped before grabbing me and we start walking again, following Frank into the elevator as we catch up, talking almost the whole way to the airport through meeting the rest of the guys in the lobby and taking a ride in the van to the airport. Once we're checked in for our flight Frank takes my hand and tells the guys we're going for coffee and once we're a short distance away he says "So now that you're done catching up with your boyfriend can I have some of your time?" I pull my hand out of his as I feel anger course through my body and just as I open my mouth to respond two very shy looking teenage girls come over and stammer out "Sssorry, we were just wondering if we could...." "Go ahead" I tell them, gesturing to Frank before I stalk off, heading for the coffee shop and I make it a few steps before fingers wrap around my wrist and I am yanked back harshly. I spin around, coming face to face with Frank and he glares at me as he softly hisses "Be pissy with me all you want but don't you be rude to them, those kids are the ones paying our bills and allowing me to live my dream and...." "Then you better get back to the adoring masses" I snap back, tugging my hand from his grip again and I walk off, Frank walking back over to the two waiting girls.

I wander around the airport, getting lost in the crowd and a few minutes after I walk away from Frank I start to feel different, everything slowing down and I can tell the pill he gave me before is starting to kick in. I keep walking around for another twenty minutes until I hear the first call for the flight we are meant to be getting on and I turn and start heading back towards where the rest of the guys are. When I get back to them they're all there, Ian looking relieved when he sees me and Frank is sitting beside him with his head in his hands and I overhear him saying "Where did he go? He won't answer his phone." "I'm right here" I announce and Franks head snaps up, the apology I'm about to receive written all over his face and as he stands I hold my hand out and say "Save it," Franks face dropping as we all pick up our carry on luggage, the rest of the bags and gear checked in and we head off to board the plane, Frank attempting to grab my hand but I keep pulling it away and he sighs in defeat and stops.


	7. Chapter Seven

After we board the plane I grab Spence's arm and ask him to switch seats with me, him now sitting next to Frank while I sit next to Ian. We take our seats and I hear Frank start to protest so I tilt my body towards Ian, turning my back to Frank and ignoring him until the announcement comes over that we are about to take off, everyone advised to fasten their seatbelts and I feel panic creep into the back of my mind and I slump down slightly in my chair as I grip the armrest, my body tense and I close my eyes, my breathing slightly choppy, the memories of the take off for the flight yesterday playing in my mind and I barely register anything happening around me until suddenly the plane starts moving and someone slips their warm hand into mine, easing it up off the arm rest and I crack my eyes open to see it's Frank, now sitting in Ian's seat. "Breathe beautiful" he whispers in my ear and I grip his hand tighter as I choke out "I really hate this part." "I know baby but just breathe, you're gonna be ok I promise." I nod slowly as I focus on keeping my breathing even, my eyes locked with Franks and a few minutes later we are in the air and I feel slightly more relaxed. "See, that wasn't so bad" Frank says softly as he unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over to kiss me softly, his hands sliding down to unbuckle my seatbelt for me as we kiss. "I'm sorry, I'm an asshole I know." "Frank how long are we going to keep doing this?" "I know he's just your friend, your best friend, but sometimes I get jealous of how close you guys are." "But nothing's going on, you know that." "I know baby and I trust you one hundred percent but I just....it drives me crazy sometimes and I try so hard to just keep it to myself but...." "It's ok, at least you care" I tell him and he sighs and says "What can I do to make it up to you?" "It's fine" I tell him and Frank shakes his head and says "No, I'll find a way to make it up to you baby." We fall into silence after that and Frank puts the armrest between us up and I slide over a little and lean into his side, my head resting on his shoulder as I close my eyes and Frank wraps one arm around my waist as his other hand comes up to gently stroke through my hair. "Get some sleep baby, it'll help you relax."

When I wake up again Frank is snoring softly beside me and I sit up, looking over and seeing him sleeping with his head tipped back against the headrest and I watch him for a few minutes, his face looking so peaceful. I stand up and stretch, letting out a quiet yawn and I hear someone softly say my name and when I turn around I see Ian smiling at me from across the aisle. "Hey" I greet him back, keeping my voice soft and he gestures towards two empty seats nearby and I smile and nod, Ian standing too and we walk over and sit down together, Ian offering me one of his earbuds and I put it in as I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder and we sit in silence, both of us listening to his iPod and I feel the most relaxed I have all day. An hour later I sit back up again and take the earbud out, offering it back to Ian and when I stand to stretch again I turn around and see Franks eyes are open again and I smile at him and blow him a kiss, everyone else around us still sleeping and he giggles softly, smiling to himself as he blows one back and I walk back over to sit next to him again, Ian getting up and going back to his seat too. "What were you doing babe?" Frank asks when I sit down and I sigh softly before saying "We were listening to music, it was really relaxing." "Yeah? How about this then" he says quietly as he pulls his iPhone out and digs his headphones out of the bag at his feet, plugging them in and offering me one earbud and he opens his music, going to his playlists and he selects one labelled Gee <3\. Frank glances over at me and I stare back questioningly and he smiles and says "They're all songs that remind me of you, I've been listening to it a lot recently" and I smile as he starts the first song, remembering when Frank covered it for me and I reach out and slide my hand into his, my fingers sliding in between his as I tilt my head back against the headrest and close my eyes, just enjoying being with Frank again, the music helping keep me calm.

After the plane lands and Frank talks me down from an almost anxiety attack, the pill wearing off, we stumble off the plane with Franks arm wrapped around my waist supporting me as my legs shake slightly. "You're ok, we're on the ground again" Frank whispers in my ear and Ian steps over to my other side and gently grabs my hand, squeezing it as he says "Come on Gee, I'll buy you a drink." I chuckle softly as Ian drops my hand and Frank smiles and says "There we go, there's that breathtaking smile." I stick my tongue out at him playfully as we follow along with the rest of the passengers entering the airport from the plane when a bright flash goes off and I groan as Frank chuckles and says "Very mature baby, I wonder if that was a fan or paparazzi." "Oh god" I groan out as Frank continues to chuckle and I playfully shove him away, another flash going off and I say "I'm walking ahead, I hate this photo thing." Frank wraps his arms around my waist from behind as I go to walk away and he rests his chin on my shoulder as he says "Nope, you're staying right here with me" and we continue to walk with Frank cuddling me from behind as we round the corner into the main part of the airport where a large crowd of eager fans are waiting for us.


	8. Chapter Eight

The roar of the small crowd of waiting fans is deafening and I flinch away slightly as I slip from Franks arms, trying to sneak away with some of the techs who are going to claim all the luggage but just as I'm almost past the crowd a few people call my name and I turn to see a few fans approaching me. I freeze, unsure what to do and they come over and start talking to me like we're old friends, their already autographed CDs and notebooks clutched in their hands and I stammer for things to say, having no idea why they would want to talk to me as most of the fans seem to not like me. "I really don't get why people don't like you, you're so nice" one of the girls tells me, like she's reading my mind and I smile awkwardly as I say "Thanks." "Don't worry about those people, they're just jealous" another girl tells me and I chuckle as I say "Well I can see why they would be." The small crowd that has gathered around me laugh too and just as I try to excuse myself to go collect my bags Frank comes over, a huge smile on his face as he says "Sorry guys but I'm going to have to steal my husband from you now." A few of the fans groan in protest but allow me through to Frank who grabs my hand and we start to walk away when one of the girls calls out "Will you be at the shows?" "Yeah I'll be around" I tell them before turning back and following Frank, going to help the techs with the luggage and gear so we can head to where the new tour bus is.

It's late afternoon by the time we get all the equipment into the van and everyone is settled in the bus, my bunk the one above Franks and we have the rest of the afternoon and the night free, the first show not until tomorrow so Frank asks me if I would like to take a walk and see some sights. I let out a small yawn as I say "I'd love to" and we pull on jackets, the weather slightly colder than we anticipated and we leave the bus hand in hand, a small map and a list of local sights in our hands and we explore for about an hour, seeing a lot of interesting buildings and landmarks before a few fans spot us and we are approached by them, Frank signing autographs and taking pictures, some of the girls asking me to be in the photos too and I smile awkwardly in them before Frank says "Sorry guys but we're kinda trying to have some couple time right now, we haven't seen each other in a while" and they all nod in understanding, wishing us a good night and offering suggestions on other places to see as we walk off, continuing our exploration. Another half hour passes and it starts to get dark so Frank suggests we get dinner and head back to the bus, the long flight starting to catch up with us despite the sleep we got on it and I agree, following him into a small Italian restaurant and we eat at a small candlelit table before continuing our walk back to the bus.

Back on the bus we change for bed, me using the bus bathroom and when I come back out Frank chuckles and says "It won't take long til you change anywhere just like everyone else." I blush at the thought and Frank chuckles again before opening the curtain on my bunk for me and I climb in, my eyes feeling heavy and when I lay down Frank tells me to shuffle back and I move back until my back is pressed against the wall and Frank climbs in, laying on his side facing me and he starts pressing soft kisses to my cheeks and forehead as his arms snake around my waist and he pulls me against him, our chests pressed together and our legs tangled together as I let my eyes slip closed and Frank whispers out "I'll hold you until you fall asleep" and I smile, leaving my eyes closed as I say "I've missed this." "Me too baby, I never want to let you go again. There's still something I need to ask you but I will wait til tomorrow, sleep well beautiful" Frank whispers and I nuzzle my face into his neck as I let sleep take over and I drift off feeling happy and safe again.


	9. Chapter Nine

The next morning I wake up in my bunk alone and I start to feel claustrophobic, the small dark space seeming to get even smaller as I flip myself out and into the walkway between bunks, luckily landing on my feet before sinking down onto my knees and gasping for breath. "Gee?" I hear come from behind me and when I turn my head Ian is just kneeling down beside me, concern written all over his face. "Hey are you alright?" I suck in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly as I say "Yeah just....I don't know....the bunk just kinda..." "Was too small and confining?" Ian offers and I nod slowly. "Don't worry, I had the same thing when we first started but you get used to it. You wanna come sit in the back lounge with me? The guys went for coffee and they should be back soon." I smile at Ian as he helps me up and we go into the back lounge where Ian's guitar is laying on the couch so he picks it up, standing it off to the side as we sit down. "So how has tour been?" I ask, pulling my feet up and hugging my knees to my chest, my head resting on my knees as I look over at Ian. "It's been amazing, I can't believe we're actually getting to do this." "You guys deserve it" I tell him and he smiles warmly at me before saying "So did Frank talk to you yet?" "No, we were going to but he wanted to wait until today when everything calmed down....what is it about?" Ian smiles knowingly as he says "I can't ruin the surprise, Frank would kill me." "But...." I start to protest as the sound of the bus door opening reaches our ears and we both turn our attention to the doorway, hearing footsteps coming through the bunk area before Frank comes into view, a bright smile on his face as he carries a tray of coffee cups but he stops walking and his smile drops a little as his gaze focuses on me and he says "Baby what's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong" I reassure him and his smile creeps back out as he says "Oh good, I was worried when I saw you sitting like that," crossing to Ian and handing him a cup before he takes a seat beside me and hands me my own. I put my feet down as I take the cup, Frank removing his own from the tray before sitting it aside and we all sip our coffee in silence for a minute, me leaning over to slump against Franks side and his free arm wraps around my waist. "So are you going to tell me?" I ask, breaking the silence after a minute and Frank smirks and says "Nah, I might drag it out a bit, I know how you love the suspense." "Frankie" I plead, poking my bottom lip out as I give him sad eyes and Frank laughs and says "How about we go for a walk?"

I smile and nod as I down the last of my coffee and Frank does the same before standing up and offering me his hand, helping me up too and we make our way back to the bunks, me grabbing some clean clothes and as I go to step into the bathroom Frank grabs my wrist and says "Come on baby, no ones in here right now, you have to give my inner perv a little something" and I let out a small giggle as I sigh and say "Ok fine." Frank smirks wide as he sits on the edge of his bunk, watching me intently as I grab the bottom of my shirt, slowly pulling it up and once it's off I spin it around in the air a few times while I move my hips slowly side to side before flinging it at Frank and he giggles as he catches it and says "I was content to just watch you change but this is so much better, continue." I let out my own giggle before I keep moving my hips slowly, placing my hands on my chest and slowly trailing them down, stopping at my nipples and playing with them for a second as I throw my head back, groaning softly and playing it up like it's giving me the greatest pleasure ever and Frank lets out a low whine as I stop and keep sliding my hands down, biting my bottom lip as I lock eyes with Frank and I can see the small bulge in his jeans from his slowly hardening dick and I release my lip to smirk as I grip the waistband of my sweatpants and start to slowly ease them off my hips, getting them down to mid thigh before letting them go and they fall to pool around my ankles before I step out of them and kick them aside. Now only in my boxers I hook my thumbs under the waistband and Frank whines again before whispering "Yeah" but I shake my head, a cheeky smirk on my lips as I reach out and grab my jeans from where I left them, starting to pull them on. "No, you can't just tease me like this, I might die" Frank exclaims dramatically and I giggle as I say "Well what did you want baby?" "Keep going?" He begs and I chuckle as I say "But what if someone came in?" "Just a quick flash then? I need something baby or I might explode." I shake my head at him fondly as I say "Well how about you take your jeans off and get in your bunk?" Frank raises an eyebrow at me and I raise one back, Frank letting out a small whine and saying "Ok ok" and he stands up and removes his jeans while I bend down and pick up my discarded clothing, shoving it into my bunk as Frank climbs into his and I tell him to lay on his back as I climb in too, straddling his waist and he pulls the curtain shut as I lean down and seal my lips to his. "Baby I don't think we have room to fuck in here" he pants out when we break for air and I let out a small chuckle as I say "Yeah I know but that's not what I had in mind," as I slide down to straddle his legs at the end of the bunk, my hands reaching out for his boxers and Frank slides up, slightly half sitting against the other end of the bunk to give me more room as I tug his boxers down and wrap my lips around his half hard dick. "Fuck baby you're so fucking good at this, always have been" Frank pants out as his dick fully hardens in my mouth and I moan softly around his length as I slide back up, flicking my tongue across his slit and Franks head thuds back against the wall as his eyes slip shut and he brings one hand down to tangle in the back of my hair, guiding my movements and I take a deep breath through my nose, relaxing my whole body before removing my hand from the base of his dick and resting them either side of his hips and Frank gets the message, bucking his hips up and fucking my mouth. "Yeah....mmm fucking take it" Frank groans out softly as he uses my mouth and throat to get himself off and a few minutes later his pants out "You ready for it baby? Ohhh it's coming," warning me right before his hips snap up one last time and he cums down my throat, my mouth sliding up so I can work just under the head of his dick with the tip of my tongue, knowing he's so sensitive there as I swallow around him and Frank whines as his whole body shakes, overwhelmed with the pleasure I'm giving him. "Oh shit baby that was fucking amazing" he pants out when I pull off and I smile, licking my lips and making sure I got all his cum before I crawl up to seal my lips to his, Franks tongue sliding into my mouth as he kisses back eagerly. "So are you going to tell me now?" I ask when we break for air and Frank chuckles, his hands gripping my hips and guiding me to sit straddling his lap, my upper body laying flush against his as he shuffles back down to lay down before saying "Quit your job and come on the rest of the tour with me."


	10. Chapter Ten

"Come on tour?" I ask softly as I sit back up a little, staring at Franks face and he smiles as he says "Yeah, you hate your job, your boss is a total dick and I've missed you so fucking much and we're only a few weeks in. Come on baby, we could be together all the time and we can see the world together, I want this so bad." "But what about the apartment and money, what would I do to earn money? And what would...." "Baby I talked to the guys and the tour manager and you can work merch for us, you'd earn a wage from that and that would be your job, you'd need to monitor stock and everything but we'd still have a lot of free time together and as for the apartment, lets just give it up, put our stuff in storage and when we come home we can find somewhere better." I take a deep breath, wondering what I'm supposed to say, feeling overwhelmed with the decision so I open my mouth and say "Can I think about it?" "Oh" Frank says softly and his smile drops completely off his face. "Yeah take your time I guess" he says sadly after a long pause and I swallow hard as I reach out and open the curtain to the bunk, climbing out and reaching into my own bunk for my clothes, making my way into the bathroom to get dressed. Once I'm dressed and presentable I come back into the bunk area where I find Frank fully dressed again still laying in his bunk and as I step over to him I say "You still wanna go for a walk?" "Actually I'm kinda tired, I might just get some rest before the show." "Oh" I say softly before adding "If that's what you want." I leave the bunk area and go into the front lounge where I find Ian and Spence, the rest of the guys gone out exploring and having fun before the show and I walk towards the door, opening it and leaving without a word.

I wander around for a while with my head down, feeling upset and wondering whether Frank is actually mad at me or not and wishing I had remembered to grab my jacket before I left. I come across a small coffee shop and I decide to step inside, instantly sighing softly in relief at the warmth surrounding me and I make my way to the counter, ordering a coffee and as I pay the young girl behind the counters eyes light up as she says "You're Frank Ieros boyfriend right?" "Husband" I correct her and she glances down at my hand, noting my ring and she smiles sheepishly and says "Sorry." "It's ok" I tell her, smiling reassuringly and she smiles back as she says "Will you be at the show tonight?" "Yeah maybe I'll see you around" I tell her as I take my coffee and walk away from the counter, not wanting to seem rude but not in the mood to talk but apparently the girl doesn't take the hint, pulling her phone from her pocket and ten minutes later when I'm halfway through my coffee the store starts to fill with teens wearing FrnkIero & the cellabration tshirts and I groan softly as one of them approaches me, stammering her way through asking if Frank is with me and as I open my mouth to answer my phone starts ringing in my pocket, Franks name on the screen when I pull it out. "Excuse me" I say to the girl as I stand and make my way past her, pushing through the crowd to get outside and once I'm on the street I hit the answer button. "What?" I answer and I hear Frank let out a small sigh before he says "Babe where are you?" "I'm at a coffee shop near the bus, why?" Frank starts describing landmarks and stores he can see and I tell him he is right near where I am, having passed those things on my way here and he says "I'll be right there." "Uh there's a small group of fans in the coffee shop right now, maybe we should meet somewhere else."

A few minutes later Frank and I meet in a park a few blocks away and when he sees me he runs over and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest and I go willingly, his body radiating warmth. "Baby you feel like ice" Frank exclaims as he pulls back, letting me go as he starts shrugging his jacket off. "No baby you'll get cold too" I protest as he starts wrapping it around my shoulders but he ignores me and keeps going, putting it on me before stepping around to press a soft kiss to my lips. "So you're not mad?" I ask softly when we pull away and Frank sighs softly as he says "No baby I wasn't mad, I just....I'm sorry for how I was before." "I'm sorry too, I was just overwhelmed, this is a huge decision babe and I...." "It's ok baby, just take your time" Frank reassures me as he takes my hand and we head back towards the bus together, huddled close for warmth, our earlier upset forgotten.


	11. Chapter Eleven

The show that night is amazing, and when the guys come off stage Frank runs towards me, his hands wrapping around the back of my thighs as he picks me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as we kiss, my body pressed to Frank and we get lost in our tongues moving together, the whole world fading away until a loud throat clear sounds from behind me and we break the kiss, turning our heads to see the tour manager standing there. "As much as everyone wants to be witness to this..." "I do" Ian yells out, my face going red as I let out a small giggle and the tour manager turns to flip Ian off before turning back to us, "We need to get out of here as soon as possible. We need to be on the road soon and there's already a small crowd of fans waiting outside." Frank gently puts me down and we walk towards the dressing room hand in hand, the rest of the guys ready to go by the time we get there and Frank slips into the bathroom to change while I talk to Ian, telling him how great the show was. "Man I've really missed having you around" he tells me as he pulls me in for a hug and I giggle as I hug him back. "I've missed you too, I've had no one to lose terribly to me in video games for weeks now, no one to go see truly terrible movies with and then bitch about sitting through them afterwards, it's been terrible." Ian laughs and shakes his head at me as he grabs his bag, handing it to the tech who offers to take it to the bus and a few seconds later Frank steps out of the bathroom in clean clothes, his hair a little damp and I smile as he steps over and takes my hand, his bag being handed to the tech too and the three of us make our way out to the exit where the fans are, the rest of the guys already out there signing and taking pictures.

It feels like the signing takes forever, what looked like hundreds of kids waiting and not all of them got an autograph, Frank looking upset by that but the tour manager gave us four warnings that we needed to leave before he stepped over and scooped Frank up, throwing him over his shoulder and carrying him to the bus while Ian and I followed, the fans left behind laughing as Frank flails around and tries to escape and Ian and I chuckle too as Ian wraps his arm around my shoulders as we approach the bus and get on. Once the bus is moving everyone settles down, Spence going to his bunk to go to sleep and the rest of the guys settle in the front lounge for a round of cards. Frank and I end up cuddled up together in the back lounge, sharing soft slow kisses as I sit almost in his lap, his arms securely around my waist. "Frankie I want you so bad" I pant out softly against his lips. "Watching you on that stage, I was half hard the whole time." Frank lets out a small whine as he shifts around, laying me back on the couch and climbing over me and I wrap my arms around his neck, one hand tangling in his hair as we deepen the kiss and Frank lowers his hips, grinding against me and I groan softly into his mouth before pulling away to pant out "We can't, what if someone comes in?" "They won't baby" Frank tries to reassure me but I catch his eyes flickering over to the door and back and I sigh softly as I sit up, Frank climbing off me and I say "Do we get a hotel night soon?" "In a few days I think baby." "That's too long" I whine and Frank chuckles before his eyes flicker with an idea and he pulls me up off the couch, leading me out into the bunk area and he tells me to get in mine, climbing in with me and I lay facing the wall, Frank plastered to my back as he requests and his hands start sliding down my pants. "Baby" I whisper out, not wanting to wake Spence and Frank presses a soft kiss to the back of my shoulder as he says "It'll work baby, don't worry," my pants being pushed down around my knees before he works on his own, Frank pulling a small packet of lube from his pocket before he pushes his pants out of the way. A few seconds later I feel two slick fingers press against my hole, slipping past the ring of muscle and inside me and I groan softly as Frank stretches me open, his hard dick pressing into my lower back. "I'm ready" I whisper after a few minutes and Frank removes his fingers from me, his hand fumbling between us for a few seconds before he shifts down slightly and I feel him line himself up and I bend my hips a little to give him better access as he slides his way inside me. "Oh god needed this so bad" I pant out softly as Frank starts to thrust in and out of me, keeping a slow shallow pace in the limited space we have and after a few minutes he tries to go faster, both of us craving more and I push my hips back against him, wanting him deeper. "Fuck baby" Frank whispers out as he starts going even faster, starting to thrust deeper when suddenly he shifts and his dick leaves my body, his body leaving the bunk as he falls out of the side, landing in the aisle between bunks with a loud thud and I hear Ian yell "Oh my fucking god." I quickly roll onto my back, pulling my pants back up and as I turn my head, looking out the now open curtain I see Frank standing up, pulling his jeans back up and Ian is standing nearby with his hands covering his eyes. "Oh god oh god" he chants softly and Franks face is bright red, I assume matching mine based on how hot my skin feels and as he turns to face me we hear Spence say "Would you guys shut the fuck up?" "Sorry, I just walked in on...." Ian starts but Spence says "I know what you walked in on, I had front row seats sound wise now shut up" and I grab the covers, pulling them over my head and groaning softly as I curl up, wishing I could disappear right now.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Everything eventually settles down and I lay curled up in my bunk, the covers still pulled over my head as I lay with my eyes closed, the sound of the bus moving along the road helping to soothe my nerves. The guys go to bed and everything goes quiet for a while before my bunk curtain is pulled back and Frank climbs back in, me shuffling over so my back is pressed to the wall to give him room. "Are you alright beautiful?" Frank asks softly and I let out a soft whine as I snuggle into his side and bury my face in his neck. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?" I ask softly, not bothering to answer his question. "Well my ass might be broken but otherwise I'm ok." I let out a small giggle as I say "When we get a hotel night I'll kiss it better." "I'll hold you to that" Frank tells me, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead and I feel my body slowly relax, melting against his side as Franks hand gently rubs up and down my back and we fall asleep tangled together. The next morning I wake up with Frank still sleeping beside me, his breathing soft and even and I lay beside him just watching his face, his lips twitching slightly making him look adorable. Fifteen minutes later Frank lets out a soft groan, pursing his lips together before saying "You're staring," his eyes still closed. "Can you blame me?" I ask and Frank chuckles and turns his head towards me, opening his eyes and smiling at me. "You're so sweet" he croons at me and I chuckle back before leaning in to kiss him. We share soft slow kisses for a few minutes, our bodies tangled together until Frank pulls back and lets out a small yawn, stretching as much as he can in the limited space of the bunk before saying "I'll treat you to breakfast when we stop." "I have to get out of here?" I ask, biting my bottom lip and Frank chuckles and says "The guys will be cool, I promise." "But..." "Don't be embarrassed babe, if anyone should be it should be me." "Frankie" I whine softly as I bury my face in his neck and Frank chuckles and says "Come on, it'll be alright." I sigh and roll back, separating myself from him and Frank opens the bunk curtain, sliding out before turning back around and reaching out for me, easing me out of the bunk and into his arms, carrying me to the front lounge where the rest of the guys are, everyone going silent when we walk in. I turn my face to bury it in Franks neck again when the guys start their conversation up again and no one spares us a second glance, helping me relax again.

Twenty minutes after we drag ourselves out of my bunk the tour manager comes into the lounge and tells us all that we are fifteen minutes away from the venue and Frank smiles and stands up, tugging me up too and we go back into the bunk area, grabbing some clean clothes and we sneak into the small bathroom together, changing quickly and making ourselves look presentable and by the time we go back into the bunk area to pull on our shoes we are just pulling up. As soon as the bus pulls up Frank and I are at the door ready to go exploring and the tour manager tells us we need to be back in two hours for sound check. Frank nods and leads me outside, the morning quite cold so I tighten my scarf and pull Franks jacket that I stole tighter around me, inhaling his scent and he smiles over at me and says "You wanna go grab another jacket?" "Nah this one is ok" I tell him and he smiles and takes my hand, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of it as we start to walk down the street, rounding the corner and walking past the front of the venue where a small group of girls are already camped out. "Wow you guys are dedicated" Frank tells them and they all stand up, rushing over to us and Frank signs autographs and takes some photos before a few of them ask if they can have photos with me too. "Uh, I don't really...." I trail off and one of the girls says "Hey guys don't pressure him." I smile gratefully at her and Frank tells them all that we'll see them later and we keep walking. After exploring for half an hour we come across a small cafe and we go inside, a waitress taking us to a small table and we order breakfast, joking and laughing over the table while we wait for the food and just as it arrives I say "Frank there's something I need to...." But I'm cut off by the food arriving. "What baby?" Frank asks after the waitress leaves again and I smile as I say "I've been thinking and yes I will join the tour, if that's alright."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Two days later we finally get a hotel night and while Frank is in the shower, washing off days worth of sweat and dirt I sprawl out on the bed in my boxers, looking over the paperwork for the merch, having gotten the hang of it quickly and I'm trying to work out what I want to order for when we get back to the US when Frank comes out of the bathroom completely naked, his skin looking soft and slightly flushed from the hot water, his hair damp and sticking to the back of his neck and I let out a soft groan before turning my attention back to the paper infront of me. I try my best to concentrate on what I'm doing but Frank comes over and climbs onto the bed next to me, pressing against my side and he rubs his dick against my thigh. "Babe I need to finish this" I tell him as he leans in and starts nuzzling the side of my neck but he ignores me and starts gently licking up and down over my skin before he bites down and starts gently sucking, my eyes slipping closed as I drop my pen, a soft whine escaping me before I gently shrug him away and pick the pen up again. "Babe, not now" I tell him and Frank lets out a low growl, ripping the paper from my hand and throwing it away, snatching the pen from between my fingers as he roughly flips me over onto my back, moving over to straddle my thighs and when I try to push him off he slaps me across the cheek and says "You don't ever say no to me." I feel a shiver run down my spine, my body tingling in excitement as I stare up into his eyes and Frank lets out another small growl before he climbs off me and flips me back onto my stomach, sitting on the back of my thighs and roughly tugging my boxers down and when I try to push myself up to fight him off Frank plants one hand in the middle of my upper back and forces me back down into the mattress, his whole weight pinning me down and as I try to fight against him I feel something cold and slick and hard slide inside me. "What...." I start before Frank cuts me off and growls out "This pen is so important to you huh?" And I realise that's what he's fucking me with. "I'm sorry....please....stop" I beg, trying to move away from him but Frank slides his hand up and tangles it in the back of my hair, harshly tugging my head back as he leans over and hisses "Shut up" in my ear, his other hand still working the pen in and out of my hole. As my head is forced back into the mattress Frank rips the pen from me and I hear it hit the wall, his free hand moving to spread my cheeks apart before I feel and hear him spit on my hole, his finger sliding down to rub the spit around before he slides it inside me and I slump into the mattress, letting out a soft groan and the mood changes, Frank letting go of my hair and gently sliding his finger from me before he climbs off my legs and gently guides me back onto my back. "Red, I wanna see you baby" he says softly as he slides my boxers the rest of the way down my legs, letting me kick them off as he climbs back over me and leans in to seal his lips to mine. "Is that ok?" He asks softly when he pulls away and I smile softly and nod, just wanting to be close to him. Frank smiles back before leaning down and kissing me again, this kiss soft and loving and as our tongues slide together I reach down and wrap my hand around Franks dick, starting to gently stroke and Frank bucks his hips into my fist, increasing the pressure and pace and we break the kiss to smile at each other. "You brought lube up here right?" I pant out and Frank chuckles and says "Baby, what kind of question is that?" Before he climbs off the bed and rummages through his bag, coming back with the lube and I reach out and take it as he settles back between my legs. "Ahh missed this so much baby" Frank groans as I pour lube into my palm and start gently stroking him again, slicking him up before he shifts around and presses the head of his dick to my hole, slowly rocking his hips forward as he works his way inside me, my head tipped back and my eyes closed as I softly groan in pleasure.

"Fuck baby, so amazing" Frank pants out as we collapse together on the mattress, our bodies covered in sweat and cum. "Been needing that for days" I pant back as I crawl over and collapse face down ontop of him, Frank letting out a small chuckle as he wraps his arms around me and gently starts stroking my back. "M so lucky" I sigh out as I slump further into Franks chest and his hands stop as he says "What do you mean baby?" "So many people want you now and you're still with me." "Of course I'm still with you babe, I'm the lucky one. After everything I've put you through you're still here." I nuzzle my face into his neck and let out a soft yawn and Frank chuckles and says "Come on baby, let's take a shower before we go to sleep." "Mmm, but you're so comfy and you smell so good right now." Frank lets out another little chuckle as he tightens his arms around my back and gently rolls us over so we're side by side, our chests still pressed together and I keep my face buried in his neck as he pulls the blanket over us, pulling my body tight against his as he starts to softly sing my favourite song, lulling me to sleep with a huge smile on my face.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

The next morning I wake up alone in the hotel bed and I sprawl out for a few seconds, enjoying having space again before sitting up and lazily rubbing at my eyes, opening them and spotting Frank curled up in an armchair in the corner scribbling furiously into his lyric notebook, his forehead creased in concentration. I remain silent, not wanting to disturb his flow so I just stare at him, feeling my stomach flutter slightly at how sexy and intense he looks and just as I go to lay down again Frank sits the book down on the table beside him and looks up at me. "Hey beautiful" he greets me, a huge smile on his face and I smile back as I say "I know I've probably told you this a million times before but you look so fucking good when you're writing like that." Frank chuckles as he gets up and crosses the room back to me, climbing onto the bed and crawling up to straddle my lap, his arms wrapping around my neck as mine slide down to gently grip his hips. "I know I've probably told you this a million times too but fuck you look so sexy when you're freshly awake, when your eyes are still a little glazed and your hair is messy, your skin looks a little flushed. Makes me so fucking hard looking at you." I smile for a second before tilting my head up and sealing my lips to Franks, Frank kissing back immediately as he eases me back down onto the mattress, making out with me heatedly for a few minutes until we're both hard and grinding against each other. "Do we have time for this?" I pant out as Frank pulls away and starts trailing his lips down my neck. Frank lets out a soft groan as he pulls back, sitting up over my lap and grinding his hips down as he glances over at the clock before turning his attention back to me, smiling wide as he says "We have an hour and a half until bus call." I smile back as Frank leans down again, his mouth attaching to my collar bone as his hands slide down my sides, pushing the sheet down along with my boxers as he shifts around and once I'm naked I tug at his pants until he's naked too before sliding my hands back up to brace them against his chest, shoving harshly and knocking him off me. As I climb over to straddle his hips Frank stares up at me questioningly and I smirk down at him as I say "Wanna ride that gorgeous dick of yours." "Fuck" Frank pants out as I shift myself up, rubbing my ass back and forth against the head of his rock hard dick, teasing him a little before I reach down and grab the base, steadying it as I line up and start slowly sinking down onto it, still stretched and slick from the night before. "Fffffuck" Frank groans out as he throws his head back, his eyes clenched shut and his face contorted in pleasure as I sink the whole way down until he's in as deep as he can go. "You're so fucking tight baby, always feel so good." I start bouncing and grinding, bracing my hands against Franks chest and as I shift my angle, his dick now hitting my prostate on every thrust Franks hands slide up to circle around my wrists, my head falling back as I groan out in pleasure into the room. "Fuck, missed those noises baby" Frank groans out and his hips start snapping up to meet my rhythm, pushing his dick even harder into my prostate and I lose it, my muscles clenching around his length as I cum without being touched all over Franks chest, pleasured screams escaping my throat as Frank grips my hips and holds me where I am, thrusting up hard and fast until I feel him cum inside me too.

After we come down a little Frank rolls his head to look over at the clock again. "We have fifty minutes babe and I have a little surprise for you." "Mmm" I groan out, remaining where I am, my eyes closed and my body still feeling blissed out. Frank chuckles as he says "Come on princess." "Mmm go on without me" I groan out, my eyes staying closed and I feel the bed shift as Frank gets up, his footsteps crossing the room away from me and I hear something that sounds like running water but before I can be bothered to open my eyes and get up to investigate Frank is back, scooping me up into his arms and I smile wide as I reopen my eyes and I see he's carrying me across the room towards the bathroom and when we go in I see he's run a bubble bath in the giant tub. "What...." I start but I'm cut off by Frank saying "I ran it earlier but it's gone a little cold so you'll have to wait a second but I thought this might be nice, help you relax a little." "You're coming in too right?" I ask as Frank puts me down and checks the water, turning the tap off and he stands back up and says "You want me to?" I nod, smiling wide and Frank says "Alright come on then," climbing in first and settling back against the end of the tub, opening his arms to me and I climb in and sit between his open legs, laying back so my back is pressed against his chest and my head is resting back against his shoulder. "This feels so good baby" I tell him and he smiles and leans down to press a kiss to my temple. "Good baby, I'm glad you feel good." We soak for a few minutes, Franks hands coming around to rest gently on my lower stomach and I let my eyes slip closed, feeling content and happy as Frank hums softly in my ear. "I love you Frankie" I tell him softly after a few minutes of silence and Frank nuzzles his face into my hair as he says "I love you too, more than you'll ever know."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

After we drag ourselves out of the tub we have twenty minutes left until the bus leaves and we dry off, quickly redressing before we pack up our stuff, checking the room one last time to make sure we didn't leave anything behind before leaving the room hand in hand, going down to the parking lot where the bus is parked, taking our bags back on. "We've got fifteen minutes babe, wanna go for coffee?" I ask and Frank smiles wide and nods, taking my hand as we leave the bus again and we make our way down the street, finding a coffee shop a block away and we order the biggest takeaway coffees we can, also ordering a large bag of assorted cakes and pastries that we take back to the bus for everyone, getting stopped on the way by two young girls who get quick pictures with Frank before we excuse ourselves and keep walking, getting back to the bus just in time for us to leave for the next city.

Two hours into the drive Frank takes my hand and leads me into the back lounge, curling up on the couch with me as he grabs his guitar, playing my favourite song for me and I shift around and lay back against his side, smiling wide as I let my eyes slip closed, listening to Franks soft voice. When the song is done he starts playing another unfamiliar tune, humming along before stopping and I feel him shift around, reopening my eyes to see him leaning over to write something down and I realise he's working on a new song. "Babe I'm gonna go lay down, let you work on that for a while." "No baby stay" Frank pleads, his hand sliding across to rest on my thigh. "This works better when you're here with me." I smile wide, feeling my stomach flutter as I shift around so my head is resting on his shoulder, watching his fingers move as he starts playing again for a few minutes before letting my eyes slip closed again. Twenty minutes later I am on the edge of sleep when Frank stops playing and he shifts around again, sitting his guitar down and turning to wrap his arms around me. "Baby" he whispers softly and I crack my eyes open and groan out "Yeah?" "I've been thinking and there's something I want to ask you." I open my eyes wider and sit up a little, Franks hand sliding up to cup my cheek as I frown in concern. "What is it?" "Well, you know how our anniversary is coming up?" "Yeah?" "I wanna renew our vows." "Really?" "Yeah, it's been six years baby and I fall more and more in love with you everyday." I feel my cheeks start to ache, my smile so wide and I lean forward and press my lips to his, the kiss remaining soft and sweet until I pull away and say "That sounds nice." Frank smiles back and pulls me across to straddle his lap, his hands sliding down to rest just above my ass and he pulls me forward, our entire upper bodies plastered together as he leans up and seals his lips to mine again. "I love you so fucking much" he murmurs against my lips and I smile against his mouth and murmur back "Love you more." We start to make out heatedly, my hands tangled in Franks hair as his slip under my shirt to stroke up and down my back and just as I slip one hand down to start unbuttoning his jeans we are startled by the couch shifting beside us and we both snap our heads to the side to see Ian sitting beside us, a sly smirk on his face as he says "Don't stop just for me." I turn my attention back to Frank and he smirks at me, raising an eyebrow at me and I nod slightly, the action easy to miss if you're not looking for it and we lean back in and reattach our lips, moaning softly into each other's mouths as I slide my hand back down and start working on the button again and Frank slips his hand down the back of my pants, squeezing my ass lightly as I buck my hips forward and Ian lets out a low groan before breathing out "Fuck yeah."


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Frank and I keep going for a few seconds, moaning loudly into each other's mouths again and playing it up before pulling apart and giggling, turning our attention to Ian who is staring at us with his mouth hanging open. "Are you ok?" Frank asks before laughing again and Ian lets out a soft noise before crossing his legs which makes me start giggling again and I lean forward to bury my face in Franks neck. "Real mature guys, tease the single guy" Ian huffs out and I pull my face back out of Franks neck to look over at Ian. "I'm sorry" I tell him softly and he smiles and says "It's ok, atleast I know you're sorry unlike your jerk of a husband." "Hey Gerard is sexy, what do you expect me to do?" I let out another soft giggle before Frank stands up, taking me with him and I wrap my legs right around his waist to stop from falling as he says to Ian "We were kinda in the middle of something so we're gonna go to my bunk now" before he walks out of the back lounge, carrying me to his bunk and when we get there we both climb in, Frank pulling the curtain shut and pressing me back against the wall as he seals his lips to mine again and grinds his crotch against mine. "Mmm Frankie remember what happened last time?" I groan out against his lips and Frank pulls back to laugh and say "Yeah my ass still kinda hurts." I start laughing too before Frank cuts me off with another kiss and his hand slides down to cup my half hard dick through my jeans. I buck my hips forward into his touch as I slide my hand down to finish working on his pants and Frank opens mine too, pulling each other's dicks out and we exchange frantic handjobs in the confined space, panting into each other's mouths as we tease each other to the edge, our hands occasionally bumping against each other and as Frank twists his hand slightly as he strokes up it tips me over the edge and his name escapes my lips in a shaky drawn out moan as I cum all over our hands, some getting on his dick too and this sends Frank over the edge, his hips snapping forward into my hand as he cums all over my hand and dick, some of it getting on my jeans but I don't care, too blissed out to care about anything.

Three days later the band has a gig in Paris and Frank had promised to take me sight seeing in the free time before the show but when we wake up he's in a bad mood and he brushes me off, telling me he's too busy. I spend the morning in the front lounge alone while the other guys go out exploring, Frank in the back lounge working on a new song. It's getting late in the morning, the guys having two hours before soundcheck and they've just gotten back as I am getting hungry so I get up and go into the back lounge to ask Frank to take a break and come get lunch with me but when I walk in he stops playing and looks up, his face pulled into a frown as he says "What do you want?" "Come get some lunch with me?" I ask, my voice sounding hopeful and I realise how stupid it is I have to be hopeful that my husband will spend time with me. "Can't, busy." "Frank come on" I try and he frowns further and says "Gerard get off my back, I'm fucking busy. You're an adult, go get your own lunch, I don't need to take care of you every second do I?" I feel like I've been slapped in the face as I turn and leave, fleeing back to the front lounge and when I get there Ian opens his mouth to ask if I'm ok, clearly having heard our little argument but I don't want his pity so I step over and open the door, desperate to get outside as I hurry off the bus.

Once I'm out in the carpark I see the tour bus for the supporting band touring with us and as I reach into my pocket for a cigarette, feeling my heart sink as I realise I left them in my bunk and I don't want to go back inside the door on the other bus opens and William, the lead singer who I've talked to a few times steps out with a lit cigarette already between his lips. "Hey" he greets me, raising a hand to wave and I smile and nod my head in response, watching him walk towards me until he's standing beside me, leaning back against our bus. "So how was your morning? Get to see anything cool?" I feel my heart sink as I lower my gaze to my feet and say "Actually Frank wasn't really up for it so we haven't gone anywhere." "Seriously? But you're in Paris, it's amazing" William says and I bite my bottom lip to stop it trembling before muttering out "I know," my gaze still focused on my feet. We fall silent for a few seconds before William clears his throat and says "Hey so I was gonna go get some lunch and walk around a little more, there's an awesome art gallery nearby, you wanna come with me?" I look up at his face, a small smile tugging at my lips as I say "Yeah sounds good." William smiles back and says "Just let me grab my jacket" and I follow him back onto his bus, saying hi to the rest of his band as he goes back to his bunk for the jacket. After William comes back we leave the bus together, Ian in the carpark now and I ignore his questioning stares as I walk away with William, talking about the tour so far and how he's enjoying it, Frank and his bad temper the last thing on my mind as we walk down the street talking like old friends and I sigh in relief at how easy it is to talk to William.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

William and I stop at a nearby cafe and have lunch together, getting to know each other better and by the end of the meal it's like we're old friends. When we leave the cafe we head towards the art gallery William was talking about and as we reach the building two young girls come over and say "You're Frank Ieros husband right?" I smile and nod and they start fangirling, asking where he is and I tell them he's busy working on stuff and they try to press me for information but I tell them I can't say anything. After we manage to get away from them we go inside and William laughs and says "Well that was weird." "I know right, I've been getting that a lot though." William smiles and shakes his head before we start walking around, William being surprisingly knowledgeable about art and we have in depth conversations about the various artists and pieces and I find myself having the most fun I've had in a while, finally having someone to share my full love of art with. After the gallery we walk around for a while longer, seeing some other landmarks nearby before we head back to the venue, Frank and the guys mid soundcheck when we get there so I go into the bus and climb into my bunk, taking a nap before the show.

I'm woken a few hours later by Ian, his face pulled into a soft smile as he says "You coming?" "Yeah" I tell him as I slide out of my bunk, Ian stepping aside to let me out and I realise we're alone in the bus. "Where's Frank?" I ask and Ian sighs and says "In the dressing room already." "Oh" I say, feeling upset that he didn't bother waking me to go with him. "Come on, I'm sure whatever's up his ass he'll get over it soon." "I hope so" I say as I run my fingers through my hair and as we step off the bus into the chilly night air Ian says "Brian is covering merch tonight, you deserve a night to relax." I smile at that and Ian smiles back as we make our way over to the door, security letting us in and I follow Ian down the hallway into the dressing room where Frank is sitting in the corner on a two seater couch hunched over his lyric book. I slowly cross the room and take a seat beside him, glancing over at Frank and he shifts slightly but doesn't look at me. I try not to let it hurt me, figuring he's just in the zone but ten minutes go by and he still hasn't even acknowledged my presence. "Frank" I say softly and he stops writing and lets out a groan as he says "What? What do you want now?" I bite my bottom lip as I turn my head away, unable to look at him otherwise I'll start crying and Frank huffs out a loud breath before going back to his lyrics. What seems like an eternity later someone comes into the room and announces the five minute call for the guys to go on and they all stand up, huddling together and talking softly, psyching each other up like usual before exchanging high fives and as they go to leave the room Ian turns and smiles at me, gesturing for me to come too.

Just as the guys are about to go on I grab Frank by the wrist, making him turn and look at me and I surge in and press my lips to his, Frank pressing a quick peck to my lips as I try to deepen the kiss before pulling away and I am left disappointed as he walks onstage and away from me. The guys make it halfway through their first song when someone grabs my arm and I spin around and see William standing there smiling sheepishly, his hair wet and his clothes clean and dry indicating he just showered. "Hey" he greets me and I say "Hi" back and we both turn to watch the guys play, William offering me the second beer dangling from his hand which I take gratefully, downing half of it in one go. "Slow down" William laughs and I smile as I say "Where's the fun in that?" Frank and his band make it two more songs into the set before William says "You wanna come back to the bus?" I think about it for a few seconds, trying to decide whether I should wait here for Frank to ignore me some more when he comes off or if I should go and make some new friends. New friends wins and I follow William outside to his bus, lighting up a cigarette on the way and when I pull it out of my mouth William reaches out and snatches it from between my fingers, taking a deep drag and sighing in relief before offering it back. I take it back and stick it between my lips, inhaling again as William puts in the code for the bus door and we go inside, finding the rest of his band in their front lounge playing guitar hero, still hyped up on adrenalin from the show. "You wanna play?" William asks and I smile as I shake my head and say "Nah if you want to though I'll just watch." "We could watch a movie in the back lounge?" He offers and I smile and nod, craving a quieter, calmer atmosphere and William smiles back and leads me through the bunk area to the back lounge, turning on the tv there and putting in a movie while I sit on the couch and get comfortable, downing the rest of my beer and William takes the empty bottle and disappears, coming back a few seconds later with a fresh one for me, settling on the couch beside me as he opens his own and starts the movie.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

William and I make it through a whole movie and ten minutes into the next one by the time anyone comes looking for me. I have had five beers by this point, William matching me drink for drink so we are both tipsy and singing along with the movie, Sweeney Todd, and giggling when the door to the back lounge opens and I see Frank and Ian standing there, Ian smiling fondly at me and Frank looking even more pissed off than before. "What are you doing?" He snaps and I turn my head to look at him, frowning in slight drunken confusion as I say "I'm spending time with my new friend." Franks eyes dart from my face over to William and back again, even more anger evident in them when they lock with mine again. "Come on, it's late and we're going back to the bus. We're leaving in an hour." "No, I'm watching a movie right now with someone who actually wants to spend time with me so go back to the bus on your own." Frank opens his mouth, clearly ready to argue with me, as he takes a step towards me but Ian wraps an arm around his waist and softly says "Frank come on, let him make a friend." Frank huffs out an angry breath before nodding once and I shoot Ian a small smile of appreciation as he takes Frank back off the bus. Once they're gone I turn my head to look at William and say "I'm sorry about that, I can go if you want." "No it's fine, you guys are clearly having issues so if you wanna hang out for a while that's cool." I smile softly at him and he smiles back before we turn our attention back to the movie but the carefree mood from before is gone, neither of us singing along anymore and in that moment I hate Frank a little for ruining my fun.

A few hours later I wake up with my face buried in Williams neck, his arm wrapped around my waist as we lay together on the couch, my body half ontop of his in the small space and I realise we must have passed out. I quickly climb off the couch, my head spinning and I sway slightly and stumble a few steps as my hand comes up to clutch my head and William lets out a soft groan as his eyes slowly open. "Hey, what's going on?" He groans out and I shake my head, trying to clear the sleep and hangover fog clouding it when I realise "Are we moving?" William sits up and remains silent for a few seconds before saying "Yeah, I think we are." "Oh shit, this is bad, this is gonna be so bad." "Hey, it's alright. We're all going to the same place." I nod, trying to calm myself down but all I can think about is how mad Frank is going to be and how I don't want to fight anymore but it's going to unavoidable with how cranky Frank has been today. William gets up and takes my hand, leading me out to the front lounge where we find his bands bass player still up, smoking a cigarette and watching a movie. "Hey guys" he greets us and I nod at him as I take a seat beside him. "How long have we been travelling?" I ask softly as William steps over to the mini fridge to get us some water. "Uh, maybe like three hours now" he tells me and I feel my stomach drop, having been asleep longer than I thought. William comes back over and takes a seat on my other side, handing me my water and we all fall into silence again, watching the movie playing on the tv and it's almost over when we feel the bus slow down and then come to a stop. I turn my head to the other guy, wondering why we're stopping but before I can even say a word there's a loud banging at the door and William slowly gets up to open it. "Where is my husband?" I hear being yelled as the door opens and I tense up, Frank acting so out of character. "He's in here he just fell as..." But William is cut off by Frank shoving him aside as he forces his way onto the bus, making a path straight for me and he grabs me by the shoulders, harshly pulling me to stand and I try to shrug out of his grip as I say "Frank stop it." "Come on Gerard" he tells me as he slides a hand down to grip my wrist and he tries to pull me along behind but I struggle out of his grip. "Gerard" he snaps as he turns back to face me and I say again "Stop it Frank" but he ignores me, quickly stepping towards me and he quickly bends down a little, throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me from the bus as I try to struggle against his hold, Franks hands tightening on me to the point of painful as his fingers dig into me and I go limp, unwilling to fight against him anymore as he carries me back to our bus, humiliation and hurt flooding through me as other people at the gas station we're stopped at stare at us as we go past.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

e bus Frank puts me back on my feet and I brace my hands against his chest, shoving him hard enough that he stumbles a few steps and almost loses his balance before I turn and walk into the bunk area, Frank following a second later and he grabs my shoulder, spinning me around and smashing his lips to mine. "Don't" I snap as I push him away again but Frank grips my shoulders tight and backs me against the side of the bunks, leaning in close and hissing out "Are you trying to make me look stupid?" "What?" "Do you have any idea how it makes me look to everyone when you run off with another guy?" "Do you have any idea how it makes me feel when you treat me like this?" I ask back and Frank freezes, his face going blank for a moment before he says "What do you mean?" "We were in Paris and you fucking abandoned me to stay in the bus and fuck around with your guitar. Do you have any idea how I felt sitting around in the lounge all morning while everyone else was out having a great time? And then I had to go out with William. I don't know what your fucking problem is right now but I'm fucking done so just leave me the fuck alone." I shove him off me again and Frank drops his hands, letting me turn around and climb into my bunk alone.

A few hours later I'm still laying wide awake in my bunk, the steady sound of the bus moving along the road doing nothing to help soothe me towards sleep and just as I roll over, my back to the curtain concealing me it slides open and Frank climbs in, plastering himself to my back as he wraps an arm around my waist, an envelope in his hand. "Baby" he says softly and I sigh as I roll back over to face him, our noses brushing together with how close we are. "What Frank?" I ask and he takes a deep breath before saying "So it's been brought to my attention that I've been kinda an asshole to you recently and....." "Kinda?" I interrupt and Frank sighs and says "Ok I was being a massive asshole and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be, I just was working on something really important to me and I wanted it to be perfect." "Well I hope it was worth it" I tell him and he sighs again and says "Baby I fucking hate seeing you upset and I hate it even more being the one who's responsible for it." "You abandoned me Frank, in Paris of all places. Do you have any idea how fucking badly I wanted to look around? It's like the only time in my life I'll get to see Paris and you took that from me, for a fucking song." Frank bites at his bottom lip for a few seconds, remaining silent before he slides the envelope into my hand. "I'm sorry" he says softly before sliding back out of my bunk and after the curtain closes I turn the envelope around in my hands, wondering what could be inside before taking a deep breath and opening it, two first class plane tickets to Paris inside along with booking information for seven nights in a really expensive hotel, the dates coinciding with a two week gap the guys have coming up which includes our anniversary. I climb out of the bunk, taking all the papers with me and following the sound of guitar playing into the back lounge where I find Frank is the one playing and I slip in, closing the door behind me again and the sound makes him look up, a sad look on his face as I charge at him, climbing into his lap as he sits the guitar aside. I lean in for a kiss but he stops me with a gentle hand on my cheek, our faces just an inch apart as he says "I'm sorry I was such a dick. I kept Paris from you because I didn't want you to have to rush and see it all in a few hours, I wanted you to have time to explore and...." But I cut him off, leaning in to close the gap between us and seal my lips to his, his arms snaking around my waist and holding me to him as we kiss.


	20. Chapter Twenty - FRANKS POV

FRANKS POV

I climb out of Gerard's bunk feeling like a complete jackass. I know I was being distant today but I had no idea I had upset him that badly. I just wanted to do something nice for him because he deserves the world but once again I've fucked it all up. I head into the back lounge, closing the door behind me so I can work on my new song, knowing I won't be getting any sleep tonight. I grab my guitar, taking a seat on the couch as i start to softly sing the lyrics I have written already, strumming different tunes I hear in my head until something seems to fit and I realise I haven't had this much trouble writing a song in a really long time but this song is for Gerard so it can't be anything short of perfect. I stop playing for a second, liking the part I just played so I scribble it down before starting to play again when I hear a soft click and when I look up Gerard is right there, sinking down into my lap so I quickly sit the guitar aside and as he leans in close to my face I lean back a little and bring a hand up to cup his cheek, holding him where he is as I stare into his eyes. "I'm sorry I was such a dick. I kept Paris from you because I didn't want you to have to rush and see it all in a few hours, I wanted you to have time to explore and...." I try to explain but Gerard cuts me off by sealing his lips to mine and I immediately melt into the kiss, sliding my hands down to rest on his lower back and I pull his body tight against mine as I kiss back, my tongue slipping into his mouth. The kiss gets more and more heated with every second that passes, what started out a slow sweet kiss quickly turning into a passionate lust filled one and I slide one of my hands up to brace against Gerard's upper back as I turn us to the side, shifting to kneel up on the couch as I lay Gerard down and once he's safely on the couch I slide my hands around to start undoing his belt, needing him naked beneath me as soon as possible. Gerard gets the hint, appearing to feel the same urgency I do and within seconds we are both shirtless with our pants undone, Gerard's hand snaking into my pants to start teasingly stroking me and I whine softly as I finally get his pants open and start tugging them down. Once Gerard is naked beneath me I take a second to kneel back and take in his body spread out for me, a light blush colouring his cheeks as he hates when I do this but I can't help but be amazed at how breathtakingly beautiful he is, even after all this time. I lean down over him to press another soft kiss to his lips when I realise we don't have any lube in here and I mentally curse myself as I kiss him before an idea crosses my mind and I break the kiss to start trailing soft kisses down his body, making my way down to gently skim my lips up and down his rock hard dick as I gently grip his thighs and guide his legs up and apart, exposing his beautiful tight hole to me, a small groan of appreciation escaping me as I stare at it. Gerard squirms beneath me, clearly impatient to get this started so I dive in and lick a wet stripe over his hole, a low deep groan escaping his lips as I do it again, teasing him before I lean in further and start really fucking his hole with my tongue, bringing him undone as I slick him up for me. "Fuck baby please, gonna cum if you don't stop" Gerard pants out so I stop, not wanting this to be over yet and I sit back, spitting into my hand a few times and stroking myself before I lean in and press the head to his hole. "You ready baby?" I ask, my voice sounding wrecked already and Gerard lets out a needy whimper and nods, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and the sight of that drives me wild, my hips pushing forward and my dick sinking inside his perfect tight heat as I lean down and catch his lips in a kiss again, gently biting down and tugging on his bottom lip as I pull away for air, my hips working up a steady rhythm and Gerard starts bucking down against me, meeting my rhythm and helping fuck himself on my dick.

After Gerard and I come down a little I stand from the couch, tugging my boxers back on and I grab Gerard's, sitting on the couch by his legs and helping him get them back on as he lays back and pants for breath. Once we both have them on I stand again and gather the rest of our clothes along with the paperwork Gerard carried in here with him, using my shirt to clean up his cum before I scoop him up into my arms, double checking we cleaned up all our mess before I take him back to my bunk, laying him in and climbing in with him as he turns onto his side and slides back to give me more room. Once we're both settled with the curtain closed I wrap my arm around Gerard's waist, pulling him into my chest and he buries his face in my neck, his nose skimming my skin and tickling slightly as he breathes me in before going still and I hold him until his breathing evens out before I let my own eyes slip closed as I tilt my head down to bury my face in his hair, breathing him in as I let sleep take me under as well. The next morning I wake up with Gerard facing away from me, my chest plastered to his back and he's still breathing deep and even so I carefully slide out of the bunk, leaving him sleeping for the time being and I pull on sweatpants before making my way to to front lounge where I find Ian already up, a cup of crappy instant coffee in his hand and I smile as I say "Please tell me there's more of that." Ian smiles back and says "There is but I didn't think you'd drink this." "Oh I won't but Gerard will" and Ian nods in understanding as I turn to the small kitchen area and start making the coffee, going through the cupboard and fridge to see what else I can make him for breakfast. I find a still edible bagel and an apple and decide that will have to do and as the water boils for the coffee I turn back to Ian and say "So what is there to do in the next city?" Knowing he will have already researched it and he rattles off a list of landmarks and attractions, one of them being a major art gallery and I nod along as I mentally plan out my day with Gerard, planning to take him to the places I know he will want to see to make up for being such a dick about Paris.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

I let out a soft groan as I open my eyes, stretching my arms and legs out as much as I can in the limited space as I fully wake up before I catch sight of a familiar shirt shoved in the corner of the bunk and I remember I'm in Franks bunk. I turn my head to the side and bury my face in the pillow, inhaling his scent on it when the curtain flies open and I jump in surprise, Frank smiling at me curiously as he asks "What were you doing?" "Nothing" I tell him and he smirks and says "Yeah ok, come on I have a surprise for you." "But comfy......you should come in here, there's blankets and pillows." Frank chuckles as he shakes his head fondly at me and says "But baby your surprise is out here." I narrow my eyes at him, my forehead creased into a frown as I say "It better be worth it." "Oh I think it will be" Frank tells me with a smirk on his face and I reluctantly climb out of his bunk, Frank waiting until I'm on my feet before scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to the front lounge where I see a fresh steaming cup of coffee sitting next to a plate with an apple and a bagel on it. "This is the surprise?" I ask and Frank smiles and says "Yeah, don't you like it?" "I got out of a bunk full of blankets and pillows for this?" I ask, pretending to be upset and Frank frowns and says "So you don't like it?" I try to keep a straight face, Frank looking more and more upset but I can't help it as I crack, a giggle escaping me and Franks frown turns into a smile as he sits me on the couch and says "Oh screw you, I should take it back." "But Frankie you know I'd die without my coffee" I tell him as I grab his wrist and tug him to sit down beside me. Once he's seated I reach out and grab my coffee as I tuck my legs up under me and lean in, resting my head on his shoulder and bringing the cup up so I can inhale the strong scent. "Mmm" I hum softly and Frank chuckles fondly as he turns his head to press a soft kiss to the top of my head, his arm wrapping around my waist as I sit up slightly and take my first sip. The coffee is extremely bitter and hot but it warms me up and makes me feel more awake so I take another sip before offering the cup to Frank and we share the cup, passing it back and forth before I pick up the bagel, tearing a piece off and holding it up to Franks mouth, his lips parting for me and I slide the piece inside, Frank playfully biting down on my fingers as they pass his lips.

After breakfast Frank takes me back to the bunk area and we both get changed into warm clothes, the bus pulling into the back of the venue as we make it back to the front lounge to pull our shoes on and a few minutes after we stop Frank and I are finally ready to leave, grabbing our hats and scarves on our way out, the sky an ominous black above us, small amounts of snow littering the ground. Frank takes my hand and leads me away from the bus and onto the street, telling me he has a whole morning planned for me and I smile wide as I follow him down the street, our fingers linked between each other's and Frank gently squeezes my hand every few seconds. We walk around all morning, stopping at a few landmarks before going to a massive art gallery, Frank humouring me by pretending to be just as excited as I am and when we leave I stop him, stepping around in front of him and smashing my lips to his as my arms wrap around his neck, Franks arms sliding down around my waist with his hands resting on the top of my ass. "Thank you baby" I murmur against his lips when we part for air before Frank leans in and seals our lips together again, his tongue sliding into my mouth and I let my eyes slip closed as I shuffle even closer to him and kiss back with just as much passion and we kiss for a few long seconds before we are broken apart by a bright flash and we both glance around, spotting a guy with a camera standing across the street staring at us. "Did he just...." I start before Franks hands leave me and he turns and marches across the street, yelling "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Anger evident in his voice and I take off across the street after him as he gets in the guys face, looking ready to hit him.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

"Baby" I call out as I rush across the street after Frank, reaching him just as he raises his hands to shove the other guy. "Stop" I yell as I reach out and grab his arm, pulling him back and Frank spits out "My personal life is not there for your gain. If I see those photos published anywhere I'll sue you." The photographer steps back away from us, looking terrified before he turns and walks quickly down the street, Frank and I watching him go before Frank turns back to me. "Babe" he says softly and I sigh as I say "Frank what the hell was that?" "I'm just sick of my life always being on display. We were having such a nice morning just the two of us and...." "I know baby but you can't blow up at them like that and you definitely can't hit them." Frank drops his head, his shoulders slumped and he remains staring at the ground as he says "I'm sorry I ruined our morning." I reach out and gently cup his chin, easing his head back up and I smile warmly as I say "It's not ruined." Frank smiles back before saying "Now where were we?" And stepping in to kiss me again. We keep the kiss short and sweet before breaking apart again and linking hands, heading back to the venue for soundcheck.

A few days later we are travelling to the final venue for the last show on this leg of the tour, the rest of the guys flying back to the US tomorrow but Frank and I will be flying back to Paris and I am laying in my bunk on my laptop when I decide to google Frank for a laugh but what I see makes my blood run cold. Some tabloid has uploaded photos of Frank and I kissing, the pictures easily recognisable as the ones Frank blew up about the other day but the next two are of right after I'd broken up the fight between him and the photographer, Frank standing over me looking enraged and in one his hands are raised and I look scared, the caption underneath reading "Trouble in paradise? Rocker Frank Iero gets physical with husband on a public street." I take a deep breath as I read the caption again, realisation fully setting in that the tabloid is reporting that Frank hit me and I climb out of the bunk, making my way to the back lounge where Frank is helping Ian pack up some equipment left around. "Hey baby what's wrong?" Frank asks when he looks over at me and I hold the laptop out to him as I say "I found something and..." Before trailing off, letting Frank see for himself and once he turns the laptop around to see the screen Ian comes over and looks over his shoulder, both of their eyes widening when they see what I'm talking about. "That fucking asshole" Frank snaps as he hands the laptop back and marches from the back lounge, Ian and I left standing in shock, confused about where he's going on a moving bus but a few seconds later Frank comes back with the tour manager, grabbing the laptop and showing him the photos.

A few hours later we arrive at the venue and as soon as the bus has stopped Frank and the tour manager leave the bus, disappearing without telling anyone where they're going so Ian helps me carry the merch inside, getting set up for later at the back of the venue before we go for a walk, getting coffee and when we take a seat in the coffee shop Ian says "So, what actually happened the other day?" I sigh before telling him exactly what happened with the photographer and then afterwards and Ian nods before saying "Are you sure? Cause those photos look pretty bad Gee." "Ian come on. Frank and I fight sometimes but we're not physical, you know I wouldn't put up with that shit." Ian nods again before saying "That's true, sorry for asking." "It's ok" I tell him, offering him a weak smile and we finish our coffee in almost silence before getting up and I order a big takeout coffee for Frank, knowing he'll want it whenever he comes back. The rest of the morning passes quickly once we get back to the bus and by the time soundcheck comes around Frank still hasn't come back so I go with the other guys, standing on the side of the stage watching but without Frank around they need someone to sing and test out the mic and Ian laughs and says I should do it. After a minute of playful arguing I step over and take my place at the mic, the lights blinding as the techs work on fixing the lighting cues and Ian whispers to the guys, smiling over at me before they start playing and I raise my eyebrows at him as I realise they are playing the intro to their version of with or without you that they recorded a long time ago for me and I take one last shaky breath before stepping up to the mic and opening my mouth.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three - FRANKS POV

FRANK'S POV

Things have settled back down for Gerard and I in the last few days since the run in with that dickhead paparazzi and I'm so excited to be going to Paris with him tomorrow just the two of us. The bus is only a few hours from the venue and Ian and I are in the back lounge packing up the last of our stray gear when Gerard comes in with his laptop, looking really upset and pale. "Hey baby what's wrong?" I ask as I drop the cable I'm rolling up and step over beside him, Gerard offering me his laptop and I take it, turning it around so I can see the screen and I vaguely register Ian stepping up behind me as I stare at what Gerard is showing me, in utter shock that they could write such terrible lies and have it circulate. "That fucking asshole" I snap when I regain control of myself and I hand the laptop back, leaving the back lounge in search of Ed, the tour manager. After Ed has seen the pictures we go into the front lounge and discuss exactly what happened, Ed telling me that once we stop we'll be going to call the label and make an official statement, deciding that letting the legal team handle it will be the best way to deal with it. By the time we finish with our call it's early afternoon and when we get back to the bus it's empty, Ed informing me the rest of the guys would be sound checking right now so I rush back off the bus, running into the venue and an assistant shows me how to get to the stage. As I approach I hear a familiar tune start and right before the stage comes into view I hear a voice sing the opening line "See the stone set in your eyes..." And I rush the last few steps until I'm standing right at the side of the stage, seeing Gerard standing behind the mic, his eyes closed as he sings his heart out, getting more and more into it as the song progresses and he relaxes, looking like he's glowing in the stage lights and I remain where I am until the song ends, noticing a group of techs and venue staff standing around where the crowd will be just staring at Gerard and as the last few notes fade out I step out onto the stage, leading the applause that quickly spreads from the crowd gathered to watch and Gerard turns to look at me, his face flushed pink and his chest heaving from the adrenalin and I run the last few steps and scoop him into my arms, his legs wrapping around my waist as I hold him to me, our foreheads pressed together as I softly say "That was fucking amazing baby," Gerard giggling and blushing even more as he shakes his head.

After the show I come off stage and change quickly, letting one of the techs take my bag back to the bus as I make my way out into the venue and to the back where Gerard is making a final few sales before packing up the merch and I join him, selling a few shirts and signing them before we seem to have gotten through everyone and we start quickly packing up, a few lingering fans trying to talk and I talk as we pack up, explaining that we can't hang around or we'll miss our flight and we carry the containers of merch outside where one of the techs is waiting for it. Once everything is sorted out Gerard and I go back to the bus, Gerard gushing about how great the show was as we grab our bags and anything else we will be taking with us, Ian agreeing to get the rest of our stuff to the apartment when they get back home and we say goodbye, getting in a cab and heading to the airport, Gerard full of energy and excitement but by the time we make it on to the plane he's quietened down considerably, his eyes drooping slightly and by the time we're in the air he's asleep, his head tilted back against the seat as he breathes evenly and I smile fondly as I reach over and undo his seatbelt, wrapping my arm around his waist and gently guiding him over to lay against my side and he hums softly and nuzzles his head into my shoulder, his eyes remaining closed and I spend the short flight just watching his beautiful face while he sleeps, wondering how I could be so lucky to have him put up with all my shit.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

I wake up to Frank gently shaking my shoulder and pressing soft kisses to my temple and when I open my eyes I see we're still on the plane, an announcement being made that we are preparing to land so I sit up and Frank reaches over to buckle my belt for me while I stretch and rub at my eyes. Once Frank has buckled his own belt he reaches over and gently smooths my hair down, shooting me a small smile before he slides one hand down to cup my cheek for a few seconds before sliding it down further and slipping his fingers between mine, holding my hand and gently rubbing his thumb over my skin. When the plane has finally landed we follow everyone else off and as we make our way through the airport to the car Frank has waiting for us we are stopped by a few fans, me standing to the side while Frank smiles for photos. When we finally step out of the airport the cold night air is shocking, sending shivers through my body and Frank grabs my hand and tugs me to the car, telling me to get in while he and the driver put our bags in the trunk and when he finally joins me in the backseat we start driving and Frank reaches out and takes one of my hands, sliding something into it and I tear my gaze away from the city passing by the window to see Franks gloves laying on my palm. "Put them on my love, I don't want you to get too cold until I can warm you up again." I smile as I turn my attention back to the window, watching the bright lights pass by and I gasp when the Eiffel Tower comes into view, staring at it in awe as I slide closer to the window. A few minutes later we pull up outside the fanciest hotel I've ever seen and Frank turns to me, helping me pull the gloves on before he unravels the scarf from around his neck and wraps it gently around mine and presses a soft kiss to the end of my nose before he turns and opens the door, climbing out before turning back and offering me his hand, helping me from the car and I gasp, my breath visibly escaping me as I stare up at the hotel, in awe of how beautiful it is. A few seconds later Frank steps back over to me and takes my hand, our bags clenched in his other hand as he leads me towards the building, the snow crunching beneath our feet and as we step inside the lobby I sigh softly in relief, the warm air taking the sting out of my cheeks that I've only just noticed.

After we check in Frank leads me to the elevator, selecting the right floor and the whole ride up is spent with Frank nuzzling his face into the side of my hair, soft kisses being pressed wherever he can reach and when the doors open we walk out together, Frank pulling the room card out of his pocket as we reach the right door. When the door is finally open Frank steps aside and lets me walk in first and when I step into the room my face breaks into a massive smile. The whole room is dimly lit with lamps, rose petals scattered all over the floor and bed and a single long stem rose is laying in the middle of the bed, the room smelling amazing and when I turn back to Frank he's dropped the bags just inside the door and he smiles back and says "I love you so much baby." I step back towards him, my hands coming up to cup his cheeks as I lean in and kiss him and Franks hands slide down to grip my hips lightly, pulling me closer to him as we deepen the kiss and I pull back for a second to pant out "I love you too" before diving back in for another kiss.

Our kisses start out soft and loving but soon turn more heated and passionate and Frank reaches up and gently unwraps the scarf from around my neck, dropping it on the floor before bringing his hands back in to unzip my jacket. Once the jacket hits the floor I spring into action, tugging my gloves off before starting to work on Franks clothes and he slowly backs me across the room, our clothes left in a trail from just near the door and as we reach the bed we are only in our boxers. "Make love to me Frankie" I pant into his mouth as we break for air and he smiles softly and nods before saying "I've got you baby," gently guiding me down onto the bed before sliding my boxers off, taking his off too and climbing over me. We kiss for a few more minutes, Franks hands wandering my body and leaving goosebumps in their wake, shivers running down my spine at the sensation of his callouses rubbing over my skin before he reaches out and grabs something off the bedside table that I didn't notice before and when I see what it is I giggle softly in embarrassment as I say "You requested lube?" feeling my cheeks heat up. Frank smiles down at me and nods before letting out his own small chuckle and he pops open the cap, squirting a small amount onto two of his fingers and spreading it before sliding them down to my entrance, pressing his fingertips against the ring of muscles there and I whine softly as he pushes them forward, sinking them inside me. Frank quickly works up a rhythm, fucking me open with his fingers as I whine and moan into his mouth and just as he slides his fingers out, reaching for the lube again to slick up his dick there's a knock at the door and I frown in confusion as Frank stares back at me with a matching expression. A few long seconds go by and Frank shrugs at me, figuring whoever it was had the wrong room and has before but just as he leans down to kiss me again the knocking starts up again and Frank sighs in frustration as he climbs off the bed and pulls his jeans back on, zipping them up as he crosses the room and calls out "Who is it?" No reply comes through and as Frank glances back over at me on the bed the knocking sounds again and Frank growls in anger and reaches out to open the door while I reach out and pull the sheets over myself, the bed not visible from the door but still not wanting to take any chances.


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

Frank opens the door and I hear him clear his throat before saying "Is there a problem?" "Mr Iero we apologise for the interruption but we have two policemen downstairs wishing to speak with you, they say it's urgent" I hear a female voice say and I sit up, sliding off the side of the bed and tugging my boxers back on and Frank says "I'll be right down" before stepping back into the room and closing the door and I grab my jeans, pulling them back on as Frank stumbles back over, looking confused and scared and I reach out and gently grab his upper arms. "Baby" I say softly and he looks up into my eyes as he says "I'll be right back ok?" And I shake my head as I say "No babe I'll come down with you." Frank nods, still seeming a little dazed so I grab his shirt, handing it to him before tugging my jacket back on, handing Frank his and we leave the room hand in hand, the room key slipped into my back pocket. We step into the elevator and as the doors close Frank starts to panic and I slide my hands up to cup his cheeks. "Baby it's alright, you haven't done anything wrong" I say softly, trying to calm him down and Frank nods before saying "Then what do they want?" Before I get a chance to answer the doors open and I let go of his cheeks and slide my hand down to grip his hand, leading him out and we see the two police officers waiting for us. As we cross the lobby Frank drops my hand and I try to hide the hurt I feel at the gesture as he approaches them and says "Can I help you?" "Mr Iero we responded to a car accident earlier this evening and one of the passengers was your mother, Linda Iero." "Oh god, is she....is she ok?" He stutters out and I step over and take his hand again, Frank squeezing the hell out of my hand as one of the officers says "We're unsure of the extent of her injuries sir, if you'll come with us we can take you to the hospital" and Frank nods, dropping my hand again and as he steps away from me he turns and says "Go back upstairs babe and relax. I'll call you" before following the policemen from the hotel and I stand there stunned, feeling completely rejected and unneeded.

Four hours later Frank still hasn't come back and I try his cellphone but it's switched off. I lay in bed curled up under the covers and try to fight off sleep, wanting to wait for Frank but it gets harder and harder to keep my eyes open and the next thing I know I am waking up to sunlight shining straight in my eyes through a gap in the curtains I roll onto my back, turning my head to see the empty, cold side of the bed and I sigh as I realise Frank still hasn't come back. I reach out and grab my phone, seeing that it's 7.30 in the morning and I have no calls or messages from Frank. I try his number again but his phone is still switched off so I drop the phone back on the table and sit up, rubbing at my eyes before climbing out of bed and stumbling my way across the room to my bag, deciding a hot shower and some clean clothes might make me feel better. Two hours later I am clean and dressed, sitting on the bed and flipping through the channels on the tv and Frank still hasn't called. I start to feel upset, wondering if Linda is alright when the door to the room opens and Frank comes in, shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes before climbing onto the bed beside me. "Is she ok?" I ask, Frank not seeming overly upset and he nods and says "Yeah she has a broken wrist and a few bruises but she'll be just fine." "Oh" I say, wondering why he never called to let me know. "You didn't call" I say after a long minute of silence and Frank sighs and says "I was kinda busy Gerard." "I was worried" I tell him and he shakes his head and says "It's fine." "So what's your mom doing out here anyway?" I ask and Frank closes his eyes, keeping them closed as he says "Shes out here to watch us renew our vows." "Oh, ok" I say, feeling upset that he wouldn't tell me that so I could ask dad and Mikey to come out too but Frank doesn't seem to pick up on my upset tone, his eyes remaining closed so I say "I was thinking maybe we could go get something to eat" but Frank shuts me down by saying "I already ate just before. I'm pretty tired so I'm gonna get some sleep" and I continue to stare at him, his eyes remaining closed as I swallow hard, swallowing down the sudden urge to cry as I say "Ok then." Ten minutes later Frank is snoring softly so I turn the tv off, unable to sit here anymore and I slip my shoes on before grabbing my phone, wallet and room key as I leave, sniffling back tears as I go downstairs and outside onto the street, feeling devastated that I've once again been abandoned in Paris.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

I wander around for half an hour before finding a coffee shop and I go inside, making my way to the counter and ordering with difficulty, my French not that great and the girl behind the counter doesn't speak much English but she smiles and helps me as best she can and I receive what I wanted. Once I have my drink, leaving the girl a good tip, I find an empty table towards the back of the store and I sit down, holding the cup between both hands to warm them back up again and I watch the steam swirling up off the surface of the hot liquid. Once the coffee is cool enough to drink I pick up the cup to take my first sip when my phone starts ringing in my pocket and I see Franks name on the screen. I consider ignoring it for a few seconds, planning to let him know how it feels but I can't bring myself to do it, sighing as I hit answer and bringing the phone to my ear. "What?" I answer and Frank says "Where are you?" "Out" I tell him and he sighs and says "Come back." "Why? So you can ignore me some more?" I shoot back and he goes silent for a few seconds before saying "Don't Gerard, you know I had to be there, if it was your dad I wouldn't be giving you a hard time." "No if it was my dad I wouldn't have made you stay at the hotel and not called and then blown you off afterwards" I say, my voice cracking the more I get upset and I bite my bottom lip as I go silent, not wanting to cry in public. "Just come back" Frank says, sounding annoyed and I swallow hard as I say "No" hanging up and turning my phone off. I finish my coffee in peace before leaving the store and walking further away from the hotel until I come across a park and I sit at an empty bench, just watching the day happening around me, watching happy couples walk hand in hand and parents playing with small children and before long I crack, burying my face in my hands as I sob quietly to myself.

After I pull myself together I sit back up and wipe my cheeks dry, reaching into my pocket and pulling my phone out and when I turn it back on I have fifty missed calls from Frank. I slip the phone back into my pocket before standing up and walking through the park, heading back to the hotel and by the time I get there I am shivering, the wind having picked up on my walk back. I cross the lobby and get into the elevator, going up to our floor before going to our room and letting myself in and when I get inside the room is empty, Frank not here but I don't really care as I go into the bathroom and strip off, stepping into the shower and turning the water on fairly hot to heat me back up. Once I'm warm enough I step out and dry off, pulling my boxers back on and going back into the room, grabbing my bag and pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a comfy shirt, dressing before climbing into bed and pulling the covers over my head as I curl up and close my eyes, my body exhausted and my mind needing a break. I manage to sleep for about an hour before the sound of a door closing wakes me and just as I open my eyes I feel the bed dip beside me and suddenly Frank is right there, his lips searching out mine and sealing our mouths together as he kisses me rough and frantic and I groan softly as I brace my hands against his chest and push him off. "Babe" he says softly and I shake my head as I roll over and turn my back to him, Frank reaching out after a few seconds and touching my shoulder but I shrug him off and say "Don't." "Oh come on Gerard" he snaps and I roll my head to look at him, shooting him the worst glare I can manage and he remains silent as I turn my head back and reclose my eyes. "Seriously? You're just going to act like this? Our vow renewal won't be very nice if you're gonna be like...." "You'll be fucking lucky to get a vow renewal from me" I snap, rolling out of bed and standing, turning to face him again and Franks eyes widen as his mouth drops open and I keep going, "I can't believe you did this to me again, after everything." "Baby I...." "Save it" I tell him, reaching out and grabbing my pillow before saying "I'm going home tomorrow, I don't want to do this anymore" and walking into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind myself before dropping the pillow and sinking down onto the floor, feeling tears spill down my cheeks again and I curl up on the floor, crying myself back to sleep as I feel my heart ache.


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

A few hours later I wake up still on the bathroom floor, my pillow damp beneath my cheek and as I sit up my head pounds painfully and the room spins a little. I slowly get to my feet, clutching the edge of the basin to steady myself before reaching out with one hand and opening my toiletry case, digging out some painkillers and putting three in my mouth before grabbing the glass on the bench and rinsing it out before filling it with cold water, taking a mouthful to wash the pills down with. Once they're down I sit the cup aside, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand before bringing it up and running my fingers through my hair, sighing when I finally look up to see my reflection in the mirror. I look terrible, like I haven't slept in days, my eyes are swollen and bloodshot, the skin under them dark and sagging and the rest of my face is ghost white. I push myself away from the basin and turn around, bending down to pick up my discarded clothes from yesterday and grabbing my toiletry case before unlocking the door and opening it, finding Frank curled up on the carpet just outside the door. I pause for a second, watching him breathe deep and even and I think back to last night when he banged on the door and pleaded for me to come out until I fell asleep. After my moment of hesitation I carefully step over him, making my way across the room to my suitcase and I drop my toiletry case and dirty clothes into it before checking around the room, making sure I haven't left anything else around before quietly zipping the suitcase up and grabbing my shoes, pulling them on and grabbing my phone and wallet off the table before grabbing the suitcase and I leave the room, leaving Frank snoring on the floor.

I make my way downstairs and through the lobby, stepping out onto the street and immediately wishing I had put warmer clothes on so I walk quickly to the edge of the curb and hail a cab, thankfully only having to wait a minute before I get one and when I step in and close the door behind me I sigh in relief at the warmth again. I tell the driver to take me to the airport and we set off, the drive taking around twenty minutes and as I step out of the cab my phone starts buzzing in my pocket and I pull it out, seeing Franks name on the screen and I scoff as I slide it back into my pocket again. I make my way inside the airport, sitting my suitcase down as I dig through the side pocket for my passport and ticket, hoping I can get it changed to a flight leaving soon and as I go to stand back up I hear someone calling my name and I turn my head to see Mikey running at me, confusion still written all over my face as he ploughs straight into me, picking me up off the ground and crushing me against his chest. "Mikey, what are you doing here?" I ask when he puts me down and another voice says "You didn't think we'd miss this did you?" And I turn to see dad standing behind us with a huge smile on his face before his eyes dart down and spot my suitcase. "Wait, what's...." "You guys enjoy yourselves out here, I'm heading home" I tell them, stepping back from Mikey and bending down to pick up my suitcase again and I make it three steps away before the shock wears off and dad rushes over and grabs my wrist, stopping me and guiding me to turn around. "Gee, what happened?" "I don't really want to talk about it" I tell him, shrugging out of his grip before rushing into the crowd, heading towards the desk I need to go to.

An hour later I am sitting on a bench watching everyone pass by me, my suitcase by my feet as I wait three more hours to check my bags in and get ready for my flight. I dig through my suitcase for my iPod and just as I hook it up, pulling my feet up and hugging my knees to my chest someone sits beside me, way too close for my liking and when I turn my head Frank is right there, a bunch of roses clutched in one hand and he surges in and seals his mouth to mine, his free hand tangling in the back of my hair and holding me in place and I flail my arms for a few seconds, trying to push him away before I give in, bringing my hands up and tangling them both in his hair as I kiss back, tears streaming down my cheeks as I tug hard enough on his hair to cause discomfort and he whines softly but keeps kissing, his own hand tangling tighter in my hair.


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

Frank and I kiss until we run out of oxygen, the kiss breaking so we can both pant for breath but while I drop my hands back into my lap Frank keeps his hand tangled in my hair, stopping me from moving too far away. "Frank" I pant out but he shushes me softly, shaking his head before saying "Baby I'm an asshole, I know. I promised I wouldn't do this to you again and then I did and I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. I can't stand to see you cry, it kills me. I know I'm fucking this up baby but please give me another chance, I don't mean to hurt you just sometimes I get caught up in what's happening and I just kinda block everything else out and I know that's so selfish of me and it's so unfair to you and I really am trying to not be like that anymore. Please don't go." I breathe deeply, slowly exhaling before tilting my head up to meet his gaze and as our eyes lock he brings his hand around to gently cup my cheek, his warm, slightly calloused thumb wiping away the tears still on my skin and I sigh softly as I lean into his touch, needing the comfort. "You're my whole world baby and I would be totally fucked without you." I chuckle softly as I let my eyes slip closed, a smile spreading across my lips as I think about how even when Frank is trying to be romantic he still can't control his language. Before I can open my eyes again I feel warm air ghosting over my lips, the scent of coffee and cigarettes overtaking my senses and suddenly warm moist lips are on mine again and I lose my will to fight, pressing into the touch and kissing back as I slide my hands up to wrap around the back of his neck, clenching one hand in the back of his shirt and I feel Franks lips pull into a small smile beneath mine and a second later I hear a faint rustling before warm hands grab my hips and I'm suddenly moved, picked up slightly and placed on Franks lap and I shift to straddle his legs as we keep kissing.

When we finally break for air I pull back and slowly open my eyes, seeing Frank staring back at me, his pupils blown and his hair looking wild from my touch as he pants for breath too. "I must be dreaming" he whispers, more to himself than to me and I smile and shake my head, leaning in and resting my head on his shoulder as I bury my face in his neck and I feel his arms tighten around my back, holding me to him. When we finally pull apart I stand back up and Frank stands too, reaching out to cup my cheeks with his hands as he says "Please come back baby, everything will be about you from now on I promise." "I'm not that selfish" I tell him and he shakes his head slightly as he says "No of course not, I didn't meant it like that baby." "Okay" I say after a few long seconds, not offering anything else and Frank smiles wide and turns to pick up the forgotten roses off the bench. "Here, you take these baby and I'll take this" he tells me as he offers me the flowers before bending down and grabbing my suitcase. We start to leave the airport hand in hand and when we get near the exit Frank guides me towards a coffee shop and I glance over at him confused until we step inside and see Mikey and dad sitting at a table with Pete. "Hey guys" Mikey greets us, glancing at our joined hands before locking eyes with me and raising his eyebrow and I shrug as I smile and he smiles back. "You guys ready to go now?" Frank asks and they all nod in agreement, grabbing their bags and following us outside where we get a cab and head back to the hotel.

When we get back to the hotel Frank tells Mikey and Pete that we're taking my stuff back up to our room while they check in and that we'll meet back in the lobby to go get coffee in an hour and they agree, turning to join dad at the front desk while Frank drags me over to the elevator and once the doors close again he drops my bag and backs me against the wall, leaning in close so our noses are brushing as he stares into my eyes and I feel my heart race, the anticipation killing me and just as I lean in to close the gap between our lips the elevator stops and Frank pulls away, picking my bag back up and grabbing my hand again as the doors open and we walk down the hall to our room, my breath shaky and my dick half hard.


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

When we step into the room Frank crosses over to the bed and sits my suitcase on the floor before kicking his shoes off and climbing onto the bed, settling himself in the middle of the mattress while I stand just inside from the door and watch, biting on my bottom lip and wondering what's happening and why he wouldn't kiss me in the elevator. I continue to stare at him until a few seconds later Franks head snaps up and he locks his gaze with mine, a familiar hardened look in his eyes and a shiver runs down my spine as he says "Come here, now." I take a deep shaky breath as I quickly cross the room to stand at the edge of the bed, my hands behind my back and my head bowed and after another few long seconds Frank says "Shoes off, on the bed right now." I quickly kick my shoes off, climbing onto the bed and settling on my knees infront of Frank, not meeting his gaze as I stare down at the mattress between us until his hand roughly grips my chin and he forces my head back up, his face right infront of mine, his breath washing over my lips as he snaps "You are mine." My breath hitches as Frank surges up and flips us around, knocking me onto my back and settling over me as his hands wrap around my wrists and he forces them above my head, pinning me beneath him as he says "And you're not going anywhere." I gasp out a surprised breath as I nod, remaining silent and Frank nods back in approval before releasing my wrists and climbing off the bed. "Stay where you are and this will go a whole lot easier on you" he barks at me as he crosses the room and digs through his suitcase, coming back with a large bag that looks like a toiletry bag but I know better, my heart starting to race and my eyes widening slightly as the sound of the zip opening rings out loud in the otherwise silent room.

Once the contents of the bag is laying on the mattress beside me Frank crosses the room back to his bag and comes back with a tie, slowly wrapping it around his fist before unwrapping it again as he climbs onto the bed again and I whine softly in the back of my throat, Franks intense gaze making my whole body tingle in anticipation. Things move quickly once Frank is on the bed again, his hands dropping the tie before grabbing at my clothes and in what seems like only a few seconds he has us both naked, his hands wrapped around my wrists again as he bites into the side of my neck just below my ear, his hips harshly grinding down into mine as my whole body tenses and bucks upwards, a breathless gasp escaping me at the jolt of pain and pleasure that runs down my neck and courses through my whole body. Frank relaxes his jaw again, his teeth just resting against my skin before he starts gently licking and sucking over my abused flesh and I'm certain if I was to look in the mirror right now I would be able to make out individual teeth marks on my skin. I buck my hips up again and Frank makes a muffled sounding groan against my neck before pulling back and releasing one of my wrists and his hand slides across to grab the two lengths of rope from the bag, his eyes burning into mine the whole time and I want nothing more than to lean up and seal my lips to his but he shifts his gaze again as he starts securing my hands to the headboard. Once I'm tied down and secured Frank slides back down my body a little to kneel between my open legs and he grabs the flogger, flexing his hand around the handle a few times before moving it up to gently trail the strands over my lower stomach, moving them up towards my chest before trailing them back down and over my hard, leaking dick and down my thigh, making my whole body shiver and shake which puts a delighted smirk on Franks face. "You ready?" He asks and I lock my gaze with his, remaining silent as I'm unsure of exactly what I'm in for until he speaks again. "You ready to be punished for trying to run away from me? You know I can't just let that behaviour slide." "Iiiii'm Sssorry sssir" I gasp out, my whole body feeling overheated and pulsing with electricity. Franks eyes go wide, his breathing becoming erratic as he chokes out "What was that?" And I can tell my apology is getting him even more turned on and I let a small smirk pull at my lips as I open my mouth to speak again.


	30. Chapter Thirty - FRANKS POV

FRANK'S POV

"I'm sorry sir" Gerard practically purrs out and I feel my dick twitch, my whole body growing hotter as a low involuntary growl escapes my throat. I take a deep breath, attempting to calm myself as my dick throbs again, feeling ready to burst already before I drop the flogger and grab Gerard's hips, forcing him over onto his knees, his arms twisted up at an awkward angle where I tied them but I know he can take it despite the small whine of discomfort that escapes him. Once I have him where I want him I pick up the flogger again and trail the strands across his skin, making his whole body tense and flinch again and I smirk to myself as I remove them from his skin, bringing my arm back before swinging forward and the crisp slap that rings out in the room sends shivers down my spine, Gerard's body bucking forward slightly away from the strike before he corrects his position and that makes me even hotter, knowing he wants this too. I slap him again and again, speeding up the strikes until he whines softly and says "Yellow sir" letting me know I've gone too far, so lost in the way his skin has turned a vivid shade of red and the sound of the leather hitting his skin. I drop the flogger on the mattress beside my leg as I lean forward and gently press my lips to his abused flesh, just skimming my lips over the swollen and heated flesh before pulling back and whispering "I'm sorry." Gerard hums in acknowledgement before falling silent again and I guide him back over onto his back, grabbing the softest pillow and placing it under his lower back to try and help the pain, loving the act of punishing him but not wanting him to be in actual pain and discomfort. Once Gerard is settled back on his back I let my eyes roam up his perfect naked body to his face where I see tear tracks on his cheeks and I can't help the sensation that sends through my body, knowing that I caused that making me feel excited. I let my eyes roam back down his body while I grip his thighs and force his legs even further apart until his hole is exposed to me, my gaze focusing on it for a few long seconds before I reach out and grab the lube, popping the cap and pouring some into my hand before dropping it again and stroking myself, slicking up my whole length before leaning in and pressing the head to his entrance. "You ready? Think you can take it?" Gerard bites down on his bottom lip as he nods quickly and I smirk down at him as I say "Good" before forcing my way inside him, sliding the whole way in in one smooth thrust. I feel Gerard tense underneath me as his breath hitches and his eyes snap shut before he forces them open again and when I'm fully buried inside him I stop and allow him a few seconds to adjust, worried I might have pushed him too far but he never uses the safeword and after a few more seconds his body relaxes under mine again. I take a deep breath before starting to work up a rhythm, my thrusts hard and fast, chasing my own pleasure as I lean forward over Gerard's body, our faces just an inch apart as I pant out "You're mine and you stay here with me" before leaning back a bit and sliding my hands around his throat, applying slight pressure and I see his dick starting to leak precum. I continue to thrust, Gerard attempting to nod in acknowledgement of what I just said and my hands tighten a little around his throat, knowing he loves the restriction on his breathing but after a few seconds his back arches off the mattress, his hands tugging against the tie restraining them and as I glance back to his face, ready to take my hands away from his throat his eyes roll back into his head and he stops moving, his body going limp and slumping back into the mattress. "Gerard" I yell as I remove my hands from him immediately, pulling out of him and crawling up beside his body. "Baby" I try again when I get no response, reaching over to gently slap his cheek but he remains unresponsive, his body unmoving and I start to panic, quickly undoing the tie binding his hands and moving his arms back by his sides before reaching in and feeling for a pulse, panicking when I can't find one before moving my hand and I sigh in relief when I feel his blood pumping beneath my fingertips. "Baby, come on, wake up" I plead as I try slapping his cheek again but I continue to get no response. I let out a small choked off sob, feeling my eyes welling with tears as I climb off the bed and grab the room phone, dialling the front desk and telling them I need an ambulance, giving them the room number before crossing back to the bed and grabbing Gerard's pants, redressing him but leaving him shirtless before redressing myself and just as I pull my shirt back on, tears streaming down my cheeks a knock at the door sounds and I run over to answer it, letting the two paramedics into the room and leading them to Gerard who is still unconscious.

Twenty minutes later after a lot of embarrassing explanations and crying Gerard has finally woken up again, the paramedics feeling it unnecessary to take him to the hospital but cautioning us about being safe before leaving again, assuring us Gerard will be just fine. Once they're gone I close the door behind them before rushing back over to the bed, climbing on and pulling Gerard into my lap. "Baby, I'm so sorry" I sob out, starting to cry again and Gerard shakes his head. "Baby it's alright, I promise." "I thought I killed you" I sob out, leaning in and burying my face in his neck. "I'm ok Frankie, I'm here" he tells me as he wraps his arms around me and gently strokes my back until I calm down. Just as my tears finally stop Gerard's phone starts ringing on the table beside the bed and he crawls out of my lap and over towards it, reaching out and answering it. "Oh right, yeah just give us a few minutes" he says before hanging up again and he turns back to me, smiling sheepishly as he says "So we're late for coffee." "Babe are you sure you're feeling up for that?" I ask, frowning in concern and Gerard climbs off the bed and stands up, swaying slightly before correcting himself and turning back to say "Yeah, come on Frankie" offering me his hand and I reluctantly stand up, taking his hand and helping him fully redress before we leave the room, my arm securely around his waist as we make our way to the elevator, wanting to be sure he's ok.


	31. Chapter Thirty One - FRANKS POV

FRANK'S POV

The next morning I wake up in bed alone, a small groan escaping my lips as I stretch out and when my hand brushes against the sheets on the other side of the bed they're cold. I frown as I sit up, my head spinning slightly and as I start to wake up more I hear the sound of running water and I smile to myself as I climb off the bed and stumble my way over to the bathroom, letting myself into the steamy room. Once the door is closed behind me I step over towards the shower cubicle, tugging my boxers down and letting them pool around my feet before stepping out of them and opening the shower door, Gerard turning and smiling at me as he steps aside and let's me under the water too. I smile back and lean in to kiss him but at the last second the black marks on his neck catch my eye and I pull back, his eyes swimming with confusion and rejection but I ignore it for a second, bringing my hand up to gently cup his chin and tilt his head to the side. "Fuck baby does that hurt?" "What?" He asks and I bring my gaze back up to his eyes. "Baby your neck is black and blue, doesn't it hurt?" "Really?" He asks, bringing his hand up to gently rub his fingers over the skin of his neck, pressing in and wincing slightly in pain. "Baby" I start but he shakes his head before cutting me off to say "Don't apologise, it's alright." "No it's not, I should never have done this to you." "Frank please just don't" he says before leaning in and sealing his lips to mine, his hand coming up and cupping the back of my neck to hold me to him and I give in, pressing into the kiss and gently snaking my tongue into his mouth.

When we finally drag ourselves out of the shower we dry off before going back into the room naked, neither of us having any clean clothes in the bathroom and once we're both dressed I turn to Gerard and say "You wanna go out and have breakfast?" Gerard turns from where he's digging through his suitcase to smile at me and say "Really?" "Yeah baby of course, I know I was a complete dick but I'm here to see Paris with you so how about breakfast and then we can go and see whatever you want?" Gerard pushes himself up off the floor, a bright smile stretched across his lips as he walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, reaching for his shoes and I watch as he pulls them on before walking over and helping him up, wrapping my arms around his waist as I lean in and seal my lips to his again. We share a soft, slow lingering kiss before I pull away and Gerard smiles even wider and says "What was that for?" "You just look so beautiful I couldn't help myself" I tell him, feeling like a sap for actually saying that out loud but Gerard just giggles softly and pushes gently against my chest. I continue to hold him to me for a few more seconds before letting him go and we head towards the door, me grabbing my scarf on the way out after we pull our jackets on and when we're in the elevator heading down to the lobby I reach out and wrap it around Gerard's neck, partly to keep him warm and partly to stop people from seeing his neck, knowing if the paparazzi see it I'll be called into question for abuse again, the knot of guilt in my stomach tightening painfully.


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

Frank and I go to a cafe nearby and have breakfast, both ordering different meals but sharing off each other's plates as we make small talk and I smile the whole time, feeling truly happy for the first time since we got here. After breakfast we head out, travelling across the city and the day passes in a blur of art museums and famous landmarks and by the time the sun is starting to go down we are at the Eiffel Tower, the lights looking breathtaking in the steadily darkening night. "It's so beautiful" I breathe out as I stand on the grass and look up at it and Frank softly says "Yeah you are" before gently cupping my cheek and turning my head towards him, his lips pressing against mine and I melt into it completely, turning my whole body towards him and he pulls me against his chest as we continue to kiss. The kiss remains slow and soft and when we finally break apart Frank leans in to peck the end of my nose before saying "Come on beautiful I'll take you to dinner." "Well actually I was thinking maybe we could go back to the hotel and just do room service?" I ask and Frank smiles and says "Whatever you want baby." We link hands and slowly walk out of the park we are in, hailing a cab when we reach the street and once we're on our way back to the hotel I slide across and seal my lips to Franks again, his hands sliding down to rest around on my lower back as he kisses back. We make it another few blocks before we break apart for air, the kiss turning slightly heated and after we gasp in a breath we both move back in, kissing again as my hand slides down from the side of his neck to his crotch, gently grinding my palm into his dick and Frank groans softly into my mouth before his hips buck up and he presses into my touch.

A few seconds later we hear a loud cough and we pull apart, only just noticing that we are outside the hotel and the driver is staring at us in the rear view mirror with an irritated expression on his face. Frank lets out a soft chuckle before he apologises and pays for the ride, giving the driver a generous tip before opening the door and climbing out, reaching back in to help me out and once we're on the curb the cab pulls away and Frank scoops me into his arms, carrying me inside bridal style while I giggle softly, the staff behind the front desk frowning at us as we cross the lobby to the elevator. By the time we reach our floor I have the starting of a very serious hickey on my neck and my dick is half hard in my pants and when the elevator doors open he carries me down the hallway to our room. Once we're inside with the door closed Frank puts me back on my feet, backing me against the closest wall as he dives in to seal his lips to mine again, his hands working on getting me naked and by the time I manage to get his jacket open he has me almost fully naked and his mouth is sealed to my neck, finishing off the hickey he started on in the elevator. "Ffffuck" I pant out, my knees going weak as the pulsing sting shooting down my neck sends blood rushing into my dick, making it throb and tingle.


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

FRANK'S POV

I reluctantly pull back from Gerard, my hands tearing at my own clothes, desperate to get them back on Gerard's body and pull more of those unbelievably sexy noises noises and needy, breathy groans from him and once I'm fully naked I step back in and reach down for his last piece of clothing, his boxers, tugging them down to his mid thigh before letting them go and they fall to pool around his feet before I slide my hands around the back of his thighs and pick him up, his legs wrapping around my waist as he leans in and seals his mouth to mine again as his hands tangle in my hair and tug hard, teasing me and making my dick throb painfully so I slide my hand around to circle my dry finger around his hole, making his whole body shake as he lets out a low whine into my mouth. We kiss for another few seconds, Gerard continuing to tug on my hair while I continue to tease at his hole before I decide I can't wait any longer and I step back, sliding my hand back to his thigh to support his weight as I carry him across the room and sit him on the edge of the table near my bag, pressing one last kiss to his lips before I pull away and quickly dig through my bag for lube, finding the bottle and pouring some into my hand, slicking myself up before pouring a little more onto two of my fingers. Once I've dropped the lube back into my bag I step back over and pick Gerard up again, sliding my hand around to press my two slicked up fingers against his hole as I press his back to the wall again and I press them forward, sinking them inside him and pulling another sexy groan from him. "Ohh" he breathes out as I start working them in and out, Gerard breaking our kiss to throw his head back, exposing his neck to me so I dive in and lick and gently suck at the skin as I continue to work him open until he groans out "Please baby" and I know he's ready so I slip my fingers from him and line myself up with his hole, lowering him a little as I thrust up, sinking inside his tight heat. "Holy shit baby, feels so amazing" I pant against his neck and Gerard tilts his head back down to kiss me again, groaning into my mouth as I shift my hips, changing the angle and driving into his prostate.

Once we're done Gerard and I stumble across to the bathroom, hastily cleaning up before we go back into the room and pulling our boxers back on, me pausing to turn the heat up a little before I join Gerard on the bed, pulling him into my chest as we lay together and he curls into my side with his head resting on my shoulder. "I love you beautiful" I say softly before tilting my head to press a soft kiss to his temple and Gerard groans softly before saying "Love you too Frankie." "I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through, especially recently. I really don't mean to be a selfish asshole, especially to you and it's so amazing that you stick around through it all. You're truly my whole world babe and I know everything would go to shit without you. Those seven months that we were apart were the worst seven months of my whole life and I never want to live through anything like that ever again." Gerard lets out a soft sigh as he shifts closer to me, his arm wrapping around my waist and I tighten my arm around him as we fall into a comfortable silence, just holding each other close until Gerard breaks the silence a few minutes later with his stomach rumbling loudly and I laugh before saying "You ready for dinner now baby?"


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

Frank and I spend the next few hours in bed, ordering in dinner before starting a movie and as the movie is ending I climb out of bed and cross the room to my bag, digging through for my sketch book and pencil case, feeling inspired to draw and on my way back to the bed I stop and pull the blinds aside, glancing outside and in the city lights I see it's snowing. "Oh Frankie it's snowing, can we go for a walk?" "You want to walk around Paris at night in the snow?" He asks, raising one eyebrow at me and I smile and say "Yes I do." "I can't say no to you" he tells me, climbing out of bed and I smile wider as I sit my sketch book back down and grab my clothes, redressing as Frank does the same and once were fully dressed we grab our scarves and gloves and head out. We walk around hand in hand for fifteen minutes, the city looking so different in the dark, everything lit up beautifully before we get to a park that is surprisingly populated for the hour of the night and the weather and as we walk through he stops walking, tugging me to a stop too and when I turn to see what he's doing his hand drops mine and grabs at my waist, his other hand coming up to slide around my back as he pulls me against his chest. "You're so fucking beautiful" he says softly before leaning in sealing his lips to mine and I melt into it, kissing back as my arms slide up around his neck. A few minutes later we pull back and my teeth start chattering, my cheeks and nose starting to sting slightly as the cold really hits me and Frank smiles wide as one of his hands comes up to stroke my hair back, small flakes of snow falling from it. "Come on beautiful, let's get back to the room and I'll warm you up again" Frank says with a wink and I giggle softly as I feel my cheeks heat up and we turn and head back toward the hotel, Franks arm securely around my waist the whole way. Once we make it back to the room Frank backs me against the wall, his lips sealing to mine as his hands start working on my clothes but this time the kiss is soft and sweet and full of love and I reach out to work on his clothes too, both of us taking our time and when we're both stripped down to our boxers we pull apart and Frank takes my hand, pulling me off the wall before scooping me into his arms bridal style and carrying me across to the bed and laying me down before climbing over me and kissing me again. Once we're both fully naked Frank settles between my parted legs, reaching out for the lube and once he's slicked up he works his way inside me, starting a slow steady rhythm as his hands wander my whole body and his lips tease at mine before trailing softly down my neck until he groans out in frustration and murmurs "Not enough" against my skin. I shift beneath him, wrapping my legs further around his hips before I shove against his chest, surging up and rolling us over so he's beneath me before bracing my hands against his chest, pushing myself upright as I start to rock my hips, grinding down onto his dick. A few minutes later we have found our rhythm again, Frank sitting up so our chests slide together as I slowly bounce in his lap, his hands wandering my upper body again, including my back this time and Frank groans out "This is so much better." We continue to work together until we both cum, pulling apart to lay side by side and we continue sharing soft kisses and trailing our hands all over each other's bodies until we eventually fall asleep, both feeling completely exhausted but happy, big smiles on both our faces.

The next morning we're woken by a banging on the door and I groan as I climb out of bed, taking the sheet with me and wrapping it around my waist as I stumble over to the door and when I open it I see Mikey and Pete standing there. "Um Gee what the fuck happened to your neck?" Pete asks and I pale, remembering the bruises I have from the rough sex Frank and I had and I bring one hand up to try and cover them as I say "Nothing." Pete chuckles and says "Yeah sure" before Mikey butts in to say "You guys need to hurry up, we're all waiting for you downstairs so we can go have the breakfast you guys wanted to have." "Oh right" I say before flashing them a sheepish smile and adding "Give us like ten minutes." Mikey sighs and nods before grabbing Petes hand and starting to head down the hallway, calling out "Ten minutes Gee" as I close the door.


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

Breakfast passes uneventfully, Franks mother joining us too and while Frank pays I step outside the cafe with Mikey and Pete and we make small talk as Mikey lights up a cigarette but our conversation is cut short by my name being yelled and when I turn around I see three teenage girls walking towards us and I turn back to Mikey who raises an eyebrow at me before saying "Friends of yours?" I smile as I shake my head and just as the girls reach us the cafe door opens and Frank steps out with my dad and his mom and one of the girls squeals, Mikey cupping his hands over his ears to block the noise which makes me laugh and Pete joins in, one of the other girls frowning at us. Five minutes later Frank finally manages to get rid of the girls, all of us starting to walk down the street and once we're far enough away where they won't hear us Mikey grabs onto Franks arm, stopping him as he jumps up and down and let's out a girly squeal before saying "Oh my god Frank" in a girly voice which makes us laugh again. "Fuck off" Frank says playfully as he gently pushes Mikey off and Mikey and I keep laughing as we start walking again.

We spend the rest of the morning walking around and taking in the sights before Frank tells everyone that he needs to borrow me for a while and that they can meet us where he planned in a few hours and I frown as he takes my hand and starts leading me down the street. "They know what's happening later and I don't?" I ask, pouting slightly and Frank turns his head to look at me, a small smile pulling at his lips as he says "It's a surprise for you babe, just be patient, you'll find out." "Ok fine, but can you atleast tell me where we're going now?" I ask and he smirks and says "I guess...." Trailing off as we stop walking and I notice we're standing outside a tattoo parlour. "Here?" I ask, swallowing hard as Frank nods and leads me closer to the door, remembering the pain of the last time I allowed myself to go into one of these places. "Babe it's ok, you don't have to get anything" Frank tells me and I nod as I follow him through the door, Frank leading me to the counter and giving the girl standing behind it his name and a few minutes later we are led into a small room where a short, heavily tattooed girl is waiting for us. Frank tells the girl what he wants before taking his shirt off and I take it, sitting on a chair in the corner while Frank sits back on the reclined chair the girl gestures to and she marks out what he told her, checking to see that he's happy with it before she gets to work, the tattoo only taking around twenty minutes and when she finally wipes away the last of the excess ink Frank sits up and allows me to finally see the finished tattoo, two very detailed looking rings overlapping with the date of our wedding, a dash and the word forever inked underneath, right above where my name is on his chest. I smile wide as I stand up and cross the room to him, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips which Frank eagerly returns before pulling away and saying "Do you like it? I wanted something to mark what's happening today and..." "Can I get one too?" I ask, pushing the memories of pain to the back of my mind and Frank chuckles softly as he asks "Are you sure my love?" I nod, taking a slow deep breath and Frank smiles even wider than before and tells the artist that we need another tattoo done.

Forty minutes later we are back in the hotel room getting ready, both of us dressing in suits and before I get a chance to button my shirt Frank steps over and grabs my wrists, stopping my movement as he leans in and softly brushes his lips over the plastic covering my tattoo before pulling back and pecking the end of my nose. When we are finally ready we leave the room hand in hand, going down to the lobby and just before we step outside Frank stops me and says "Do you trust me?" I frown at him in confusion as I slowly nod and Frank chuckles softly as he steps behind me and suddenly my eyesight is gone, Frank tying a blindfold over them and I groan softly as I jokingly say "This better be worth my while."


	36. Chapter Thirty Six

Frank leads me outside the hotel, the chilling air biting at the exposed skin of my face and neck and he spins me around a few times before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side and I giggle as we take our first steps and I wobble slightly, a little dizzy and disoriented from the spinning and the blindfold. "Easy babe" Frank giggles as he tightens his arm around my waist and we keep walking, Frank eventually guiding me to one side or advising me to stop and this reminds me of our wedding day, although I'm not as anxious this time because I know Frank will keep me safe. After another few minutes Frank tells me we're almost there and before I know it he guides me to a stop, his arm leaving my waist before it comes up to gently undo my blindfold, Frank pressing a soft kiss to my lips as he pulls it away. I blink hard a few times as my focus returns and I see we are in the park under the Eiffel Tower and I smile wide as I see our families again standing nearby with an unfamiliar woman who I realise will be leading the ceremony before taking Franks hand and walking over to them.

The woman starts the short ceremony, leading us to exchange basic vows before she announces that Frank has prepared something special for me and he smiles and winks at me before stepping over and taking his acoustic guitar from Pete. I feel my mouth pull into a small smile as Frank softly starts to play an unfamiliar tune, playing for a few seconds before he starts to sing.

"Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew. So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'."

As soon as Frank finishes the line I hear a second guitar join in with his and I snap my head around to see Ian walking up behind me with his own guitar, a huge smile on his face and I giggle as I turn back to Frank, his mouth opening to sing the next line.

"Then you whispered in my ear and you told me too,  
Said, 'You make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'  
And I would answer all your wishes, if you asked me to.  
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do. So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do. Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.  
Yeah..."

Frank stops singing for a moment, stepping closer and leaning in to kiss me as he keeps playing before pulling away to start singing again.

"And I would answer all your wishes, if you asked me to.  
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do. So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do. Dancing on the kitchen tiles,  
Yes you make my life worthwhile,  
So I told you with a smile... It's all about you.  
It's all about you  
(It's about you)  
It's all about you, baby  
(It's all about)  
It's all about you  
(It's about you)  
It's all about you"

I giggle softly again as Ian joins in on backup, my face pulled into such a wide smile my cheeks ache as Frank and Ian launch into the end of the song.

"It's all about you  
(It's about you)  
It's all about you, baby  
(It's all about)  
It's all about you  
(It's about you)  
It's all about you"

The music slowly fades out and comes to an end and as soon as Frank has removed his guitar I launch myself on him, his hands cupping the back of my thighs as he picks me up and spins me around, my legs wrapped around his waist as we kiss soft and slow, everyone clapping and cheering for us.


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

When Frank finally puts me down I turn and see Ian standing behind me, a huge smile on his face and I launch myself on him, his arms wrapping tight around my waist as he hugs back, lifting me up slightly and I giggle as he puts me back on my feet, our hug slowly coming to an end and when we pull apart and I smile wide and say "Thank you for helping with all this." "Of course Gee, I wouldn't have missed this for anything," Ian tells me and we share another smile before Frank steps over and wraps his arms around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder and his face nuzzling into my neck.

The rest of the afternoon passes quickly, the seven of us doing a little more sight seeing before going for an early dinner, the meal passing in a blur of jokes, laughter and a little too much wine and by the time we leave the restaurant I am a little tipsy. On our walk back to the hotel we pass a statue and Ian runs over to pose with it, hanging off it with one leg propped up around it as he pouts his lips like a duck and I giggle hysterically as I pull my phone out and snap a picture, Ian running back over to see it and we both laugh even harder, the two of us clearly more drunk than the others and we turn it into a game, joining hands and skipping ahead, stopping at every statue or interesting landmark to take stupid pictures and by the time we make it back to the hotel my sides hurt and I can't breathe properly. We stop outside the entrance to the hotel, waiting for the rest of the guys to catch up and Ian wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me over to slump against the wall with him and when Frank finally catches up to us his face is hard, his eyes holding just a hint of anger. I frown in confusion as he steps over and grabs my wrist, pulling me off the wall and towards the front door. "Come on, you need some coffee" he tells me, his voice sharp and I swallow hard as I follow behind, my gaze dropping to the floor and I just know I'm in for a fight once we get back to the room.

We all get into the elevator, Frank pressing the button for our floor and then the button for the floor the rest of the guys are staying on and we reach theirs first, all of them wishing us goodnight before getting out and once the doors close again I turn to Frank but as I go to open my mouth he turns his head to look at me and says "Don't." I snap my mouth shut again and after a few long seconds of silence the doors open again and Frank steps out, stalking down the hallways towards our room while I follow a few steps behind, my stomach knotting up more and more the closer we get.

Once we make it to the door Frank lets us in, waiting for me to step inside before closing it again, my teeth clamping down on my quivering bottom lip as he turns to face me. "Frankie...." I start softly but Frank just shakes his head before saying "Is there something I should know?" "No" I say softly, my voice quiet but I can't seem to make myself speak any louder. "Do you know how it looks when you act like this? Do you know how it makes me look to everyone?" I remain silent, just biting on my lip and Frank snaps, stepping towards me as he clenches his fists at his sides. "You're making me look fucking stupid like I'm being two timed and I don't fucking like it Gerard. You know what you're doing and you continue to do it, but this time it's done. You will not do this to me again." I swallow hard, the lump in my throat feeling like its choking me but the anger burning in my chest at his last comment wins and I open my mouth to speak. "I'm not your property, you can't tell me what to do. If I want to have fun with my best friend, my BEST FUCKING FRIEND FRANK" I yell, my anger getting the better of me, "Then I will do it, I'll do whatever the fuck I want and if you don't like it then that's your problem. There's nothing happening with me and Ian and there won't ever be, he's like my brother and I'm not doing anything inappropriate so whatever your issue is, get over it." Franks jaw clenches, his eyes going even harder as he takes another step towards me, getting right in my face as he spits out "I will tell you what to do, while you are my husband I will fucking well tell you what to do if I want and you will do it. The fans see everything you're doing and I will not be made a fool of to them...." "Fuck you Frank" I spit back, turning to walk away but Franks hand shoots out to grab my wrist, squeezing painfully as he says "Don't you walk away from me." "Let me go" I demand, working hard to keep my voice even as pain shoots up my arm and Frank huffs out an angry breath and squeezes even tighter, tears springing to my eyes as the pain becomes unbearable and as I open my mouth to tell him he's hurting me I feel something pop, pain exploding through my hand and shooting up to my elbow. I cry out in pain, Frank letting go of my arm and I bring it up to clutch against my chest with my other hand, every movement sending a new jolt of intense pain shooting through my arm, tears streaming down my face and as Frank steps towards me, his face sad and scared looking I take off for the door, opening it with my non hurt hand and running down the hall, ignoring the sound of Frank calling my name as I make it to the end of the hall and I start down the stairs, running until I make it to the door I need and I bang frantically with my good hand until it opens a few seconds later, Ian standing before me and his face quickly pulls into a frown as he steps aside and let's me in, closing the door before turning to follow me.


	38. Chapter Thirty Eight

"Gee what happened?" Ian asks as he follows me further into the room and when I turn to face him he seems to finally notice my arm clutched to my chest. "Are you ok? What's wrong with your arm?" I swallow hard before saying "Frank hurt my wrist, we were having a fight and I tried to walk away and he grabbed me and...." "Let me have a look" Ian cuts me off to say and I exhale shakily as I reach my arm out slightly, pain shooting up my arm again in jolts and I whimper as Ian gently takes hold of my hand, his touch easing up when he sees the look on my face. "I'm sorry, I'll try to be gentle" he tells me as he reaches his other hand up to unbutton the sleeve of my shirt, pushing it up slightly and when my wrist is uncovered he gasps, causing me to look down at it and my stomach twists as I see the reason my shirt felt so tight. My whole wrist is steadily turning a dark reddish purple, some patches darker than others and I can tell that's where Franks fingers were digging in but the most shocking part is how swollen my arm is, a huge lump more prominent on one side and Ian hisses something under his breath that I don't catch. "Ian...." I start softly, his head snapping up to meet my gaze as he says "He broke your wrist, what the fuck happened?" "He was squeezing and I felt something pop and...." I trail off as a knock at the door sounds, Ian gently letting go of my hand before crossing to answer it and before he even gets the door fully open he swings his arm back, his fist clenched before driving it forward into Franks face, Frank falling backwards to the floor as his hands come up to clutch his nose. "What the fuck?" Frank shouts, Ian pushing the door fully open before stepping out into the hallway towards him and I rush over, ignoring the pain in my arm as I reach out my good hand, grabbing Ian's arm and saying "Stop." Ian stops and turns to look at me, Frank sitting up again as Ian says "Come on, I'll take you to the hospital." "What? Why?" Frank asks and Ian turns his head to look at him again before saying "Because you broke his fucking arm." Franks eyes widen as he scrambles to his feet, stepping towards me and I step back, backing against the wall as I say "Don't, please." Franks face twists into a mask of hurt and guilt as he stops his movement, a few steps distance between us and Ian comes back out of his room, pulling the door closed behind himself before he takes my good hand, leading me towards the elevator. "Babe" Frank calls out, starting to follow us and Ian turns his head to shout "Fuck off Frank" the elevator doors opening and we step in, Ian pressing the button for the lobby and a few seconds later the doors close again, the elevator taking us down.

Ian and I sit in the hospital waiting room for over an hour before someone comes to take me for an X-ray, a nurse giving me pain relief in the mean time and by the time I come back out Mikey and dad are in the waiting room with Ian. "So what's happening?" Dad asks and I sigh before saying "It's a clean break of one of the smaller bones so it's going in plaster and it should be healed in about four weeks." Dad nods, stepping towards me and wrapping me in a hug, being careful of my wrist and when he pulls back my name is called, a nurse standing nearby waiting to take me in so I can get the cast put on my arm. I turn and follow her into a small room and ten minutes later a doctor comes in to look at my arm again, saying something to the nurse that I don't understand before he leaves and she gets to work.

Two hours later I walk out of the hospital with a prescription for strong painkillers and instructions to take it easy and rest my arm for the next four weeks before going to see a doctor and having another X-ray. On the way back to the hotel we stop at a twenty four hour chemist to get my pain killers and when we get back I go upstairs with Ian, dad and Mikey. "Gee I...." Dad starts but I shake my head as I say "It's really late and I'm really tired, can we talk about this tomorrow?" Dad nods before saying "Yeah, it's ok. Do you want to come sleep in my room?" "Well I...." "You can stay with me Gee" Ian offers and I nod before saying "Yeah I'll stay with Ian." "Alright well I'm just down the hall if you need" Dad offers before pulling me into a quick hug, Mikey doing the same afterwards before they both head back to their rooms, Ian and I going into his and once the door is closed he crosses over to where I've taken a seat on the end of the bed. "Is there anything I can do?" Ian asks and I shrug before asking "Do you have any clean pyjamas I can borrow?" "Of course" he tells me, crossing to his bag and digging through before handing me a pair of soft, worn pyjama pants and a t-shirt I'm pretty sure is mine. I reach up to undo my tie, loosening it but when I try to undo my shirt buttons one handed I have trouble, my fingers fumbling and Ian chuckles before saying "Come here." I stand up and Ian comes over to stand in front of me, his hands coming up between our chests as he starts to undo the buttons for me, making it three down before I glance up at his face and he's right there, his breath washing over my lips and I lock eyes with him, the room feeling heavy with the tension between us and as Ian's hands slide down to the next button the back of his fingers brush against my bare skin and I lean in, closing the distance between our lips as my eyes slip closed, Ian's lips immediately moving against mine as we kiss soft and slow.


	39. Chapter Thirty Nine

Ian and I continue to kiss as his hands quickly work on the rest of my buttons, getting my shirt fully open before he braces his palms against my bare stomach, sliding them back up my chest to push the shirt off my shoulders. I use my good arm to gently tug the shirt the rest of the way off and as it falls to the floor Ian's hands slide down my back, coming to rest just above where my pants start, his tongue just swiping across my lip and I open up, tangling my tongue with his as my good hand comes up to tangle in his hair. A few long seconds later we break apart for air, Ian's nose brushing against mine as we pant into each other's mouths and I slide my hand around to cup his cheek. "You ready for bed?" Ian pants, his eyes still locked with mine and I nod slowly, pulling back from him and his hands slide back around to my front, his fingers working on opening my belt for me and I feel a shiver run up my spine, my whole body feeling on fire as my eyes slip half closed before he pulls back again, reaching down to tug his own shirt off. I fully open my eyes again as I work to open my pants, finding them easier than the shirt and once I have them open I let them fall to the floor alongside my shirt, stepping out of them and I step back to sit on the end of the bed, grabbing the pants and managing to get my feet in each leg before I stand up and pull them up the rest of the way, Ian softly clapping at me and when I look up I see he's watching me, making me giggle and flip him off. I decide the shirt isn't worth the effort and when Ian sees that he remains shirtless too and as I climb into bed he turns the main lights off before climbing in with me, the room now softly lit by the lamp on the table beside the bed and once Ian is settled beside me I roll onto my side to face him, his body sliding closer to mine and I study his face, taking in every little detail I wouldn't normally notice as we are never usually this close to each other and when my eyes reach his lips they dart back up to his eyes for a second before trailing down again and I bite on my own bottom lip as I think about how soft and inviting his lips are, how his kiss makes me feel and when I see him lean in again I don't fight it, needing the affection and comfort.

Ian and I kiss for what feels like hours, his hands gently exploring my bare chest, stomach and back but never pushing to go lower and eventually he pulls back to turn the lamp off, everything feeling suddenly more intense in the darkness and when Ian's lips find mine again he gently guides me onto my back, his body moving to straddle mine and he presses me into the mattress as his lips trail down my neck, leaving soft, sucking kisses in their wake but not enough that it will leave a mark. "Ian" I gasp out, my whole body tingling with arousal and I can feel my pants getting tighter. Once his lips make it to my collarbone Ian darts his tongue out, gently licking over the skin covering it before he presses more soft sucking kisses to my heated skin and I can't help myself, bucking my hips upwards and grinding my dick against his hip. Ian stills, gasping softly before pulling back and trailing his hand down my body, rubbing his palm over my cloth covered erection. "Babe, you're so hard" he gasps out and it suddenly dawns on me exactly what I'm doing. "No, stop" I choke out, my stomach twisting into an unbearable knot as I push Ian away, his body rolling off mine and settling on the mattress beside me and as the lamp comes back on I slide off the bed, standing up again and as I stumble across the room I try to will my erection down, my dick still half hard but steadily deflating as guilt eats away at me. I head towards the door and Ian quickly jumps up, rushing over to wrap his arm around my waist and as his chest presses to my back I feel his still hard dick pressing against my ass. "Where are you...." "Please, I can't stay here" I choke out, feeling my eyes well with tears and Ian steps around to stand in front of me. "Why?" He asks and I exhale deeply before saying "Because if I do I won't be able to hold back anymore and...." "Then don't babe. You know I love you, I always have and I would never ever lay a finger on you in anything other than love and affection. You deserve so much more than what you have right now and I would spend the rest of my life working to be what you need and deserve. Stop fighting baby, I'm right here to catch you."

I let out a small whine, my eyes slipping closed and just as I go to open them again Ian's lips press against mine, my will to fight this leaving me and I start to kiss back, Ian's hands on my hips feeling burning hot. "Come back to bed babe, I'll make it all better" Ian whispers against my lips and my stomach twists again, my mind screaming at me to run and my heart screaming at me to stay and I whine softly as I step backwards, separating our bodies again and I feel like I'm being torn apart, Frank flashing through my mind and as Ian stands there watching me silently I can't take it anymore, rushing past him and out the door, forgetting that I'm shirtless with only pyjama pants on. I run for the stairs again, tears rolling down my cheeks and I make it halfway down the hall before I hear my name being called, fast footsteps sounding close behind me.


	40. Chapter Forty

I keep running, forcing myself to move faster and I make it to the stairs, pushing the door open and rushing down the first few steps before I hear my name being called again and as I turn to look back I lose my balance, my foot slipping off the edge of the step and I start to fall, reaching my good hand out to try and brace my fall but it doesn't do much good, my head hitting the edge of a step, ringing out a sickening crack and my vision goes blurry, something in my side feeling like its snapping, every stair feeling like its crushing my body and as I hit the bottom of the stairs I whimper in pain, the noise barely audible and I hear my name being screamed before the pain and dizziness become too much to handle and I pass out, thankful for the nothingness taking over.

I wake up in hospital, my vision blurry at first but as I become more awake it clears and I become more and more aware of the agony my body is in, one of my eyes barely opening and I whimper softly, trying to turn my head but there's something around my neck stopping me. "Gee" I hear a voice say softly before dads face comes into view and I open my mouth to speak, the action sending a jolt of pain through my jaw. "Hurts" I manage to choke out, falling silent again and dad nods before disappearing from view. "Dad" I whimper and a few seconds later I feel a warm pressure on my hand before his face comes back into view and I try but I can't seem to curl my fingers to hold his hand. "It's alright, I called for the nurse." "I...I can't..." I trail off and dad shushes me, his free hand coming up to gently stroke my hair back and I whimper as he presses against a particularly sore spot. "I'm sorry" he whispers, removing his hand and I hear footsteps coming into the room. Dad disappears from view again but his hand remains clasping mine and I take comfort in the touch as the unfamiliar faces of the nurses and doctors comes into view. They start poking and prodding at me, some touches not bothering me while others send jolts of pain through me. They ask me basic things like to flex my fingers and toes, my previously broken arm even worse than before and I have some trouble moving my toes and legs, the doctor telling me I have slight swelling around the base of my spine which they are confident will heal within a few weeks. One of the nurses steps up to feel around my neck, pressing into certain points and when I tell her I have no pain she nods to herself before removing the neck brace that was stopping my movement before. Once their examination is done the doctor adds something to my IV, telling me it should kick in within a few minutes and after he leaves the room dad takes a seat beside the bed, my head rolling so I can see him. "How bad is it?" I ask, knowing I must be black and blue and dads face pales as he says "Don't worry about that right now." "No I need to know" I tell him, my body starting to feel heavy and tired as the painkillers kick in and dad nods, pulling his phone out and taking a picture of me before turning it so I can see the screen and my stomach turns as my eyes well with tears. The whole right side of my face is black, my right eye almost swollen fully shut and my jaw is extremely swollen. There is a large gash that has been stitched up across my forehead and my lip is split and bloodied. I close my eyes, unable to look any longer and I fear exactly what I look like below the shoulders, the pain making me assume that it will be much worse than my face.

I fall asleep again, the drugs making me drowsy and the next time I wake up Mikey and Pete are sitting beside the bed, Petes arm around Mikey as he leans over into his side with his head on Petes shoulder. "Hey" Pete greets me softly and I nod in response, my eyes shifting to meet Mikey's, his bottom lip quivering as his eyes well with tears. "Gee" Mikey gasps, reaching out to take my hand and I feel better at the contact. "How are you feeling?" Mikey asks after a minute and I take a deep breath, my ribs protesting, before saying "Like I fell down the stairs." Pete starts laughing, Mikey elbowing him with his free arm before smiling at me and I try to smile back, my mouth only stretching slightly before it hurts too much and I stop. "So where are they?" I ask, referring to Frank and Ian and Mikey gets it immediately, glancing over at Pete before saying "Frank is in the waiting room." "Ian?" I ask, Mikey's teeth clamping down on his bottom lip before he says "He flew back home." "Oh" I say, feeling hurt and Mikey squeezes my hand gently before saying "Gee, it's for the best that they're separated right now. There was a fight and...." "Mikes" Pete cuts him off but I shake my head and say "No, I want to know." "After you fell they called for an ambulance and I went to get Frank and Ian told him what happened and Frank punched him and then all hell broke loose, they owe for damages to the hotel and they were both kicked out. The hotel threatened to have them arrested but we talked them out of it. When we all got here another fight broke out and Ian decided it was best for you if he left." "Are they ok?" I ask, wondering how bad their fight could have been and Mikey says "Frank has a black eye and a split lip, Ian has a few busted knuckles and his cheek is a bit bruised. Frank got the worst of it." I nod, not knowing what else to say and after a few minutes of silence I ask "Do you know how long I have to be in here for?"


	41. Chapter Forty One

Twenty minutes after I wake up the doctor comes back around, checking on my pain level and fiddling with my IV before leaving again, telling me a nurse will be around in another hour to give me more drugs to help me sleep, the more rest I get the better and when he leaves again Mikey and Pete stand up, telling me I'm only allowed one lot of people at a time and that dad should be back in soon. I nod, Mikey standing before leaning down to hug me and I try hard not to wince in pain as he touches me. Once they're gone I relax back into the pillows, my eyes slipping closed and when I hear footsteps a minute later I reopen them and say "Dad could you get me some...." My voice trailing off as I see its Frank coming into the room, not dad. As I stop talking Frank stops walking and we stare at each other for a few long seconds, neither of us saying anything and Frank looks miserable. "What do you need baby?" He asks softly and I remain silent for another few seconds before saying "Water." "Of course" he says, quickly crossing the room and grabbing a bottle that someone left there earlier, a straw sitting nearby and Frank opens the package around it before putting it in the bottle and bringing it over so I can take a drink, unable to sit up properly. Once I've had enough I pull away, slumping back down and Frank sits the bottle aside before taking the seat Mikey was just using. "How are you feeling?" "How do you think?" I snap, still upset about the fight and what he did to my arm and Frank sighs before saying "I'm sorry, you know I would never do that to you intentionally right? It was an accident and...." "Sorry really isn't doing anything for me" I tell him and he falls silent, his forehead creasing into a frown. "I thought I was going to lose you" he whimpers out after a few long minutes of silence, his voice shaky and cracking and when I roll my head to look at him again his eyes are swollen and red. "There was so much blood and you wouldn't....I couldn't wake you up and...." Frank trails off, tears rolling down his cheeks and I sigh softly, feeling my own eyes well with tears as he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. "Don't cry babe, I can't stand to see you cry" Frank says as he shuffles closer to the bed, his hand coming up to gently cup my cheek and I wince in pain, any kind of pressure feeling like its breaking my jaw. Frank bites his bottom lip as he pulls his hand back, his eyes trailing my face and I take a deep breath before saying "Stop." "Stop what?" "Stop looking, I don't want anyone to look." Franks eyes widen before he nods and drops his head, his gaze now on his own lap and I breathe out in relief, the picture dad took before stuck in my head and I don't want Frank or Ian to see me like that.

The rest of the afternoon passes quickly, Frank leaving so dad can come back in and it starts to get late so I tell him to go get some rest. "Are you sure?" He asks and I nod as much as I can before saying "I'll be fine." Dad stands and gives my hand a squeeze, knowing a hug is out of the question right now, telling me he'll be back in the morning before leaving the room and a minute later Frank comes back in, standing beside the bed with his gaze on the floor as he says "Do you want me to stay?" I think about it for a minute before saying "You should rest, I'll be here tomorrow." I see him nod before he lifts his head, his eyes locking with mine as he says "I love you." "I love you too" I tell him, watching as his mouth pulls into a massive smile before he leans down and presses a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth, being careful of all the cuts and bruises I have. "I'll be back first thing" Frank tells me and I nod, watching as he leaves the room again.

An hour after everyone has gone a nurse comes around to give me more pain killers and ten minutes later my whole body feels warm and heavy and relaxed and just as I close my eyes, ready for sleep, I hear soft footsteps come into the room so I force my eyes back open, expecting another nurse but my breath catches when I see its Ian. "What are you...." "I couldn't leave not knowing if you were alright baby" he tells me and I feel my mouth pull into a small almost smile. "They told me you went home" I choke out as Ian crosses the room to sit beside the bed. "I was, but when I got to the airport I just couldn't. If something happened and I hadn't been here I would never be able to forgive myself. This is all my fault and I'm so sorry baby." "Don't blame yourself" I tell him, my eyes starting to feel heavy and Ian reaches out to take my hand, sliding his fingers between mine as he says "You wouldn't have fallen if it wasn't for me." "Don't want you to feel guilty" I tell him, my eyes remaining closed and my voice starting to slur, feeling right on the edge of passing out. "Get some rest baby" I hear Ian say softly and I groan before saying "Will you stay? Don't want to be alone." "Of course baby, I'll be here all night." I try to slide my body over a bit, trying to make room for Ian on the bed but as soon as I move pain flares up and I whimper pathetically. "Baby what are you doing? Don't hurt yourself" Ian says softly and I force my eyes back open as I say "Wanted you to..." A yawn cutting me off but Ian seems to get what I was saying as he says "No baby it's alright I'll be fine right here." Ian stands up, reaching out to pull the blankets up and help me get comfortable before he leans in and presses his lips against mine, not applying any pressure just touching our lips and I feel my heart flutter as he pulls away, taking his seat again and slipping his hand back into mine. We stare at each other for a few minutes until I can't hold it off any longer, my eyes closing and my body slipping into unconsciousness, Ian's warm hand still clutching mine.


	42. Chapter Forty Two - FRANKS POV

FRANK'S POV

I slowly enter the room, pushing the door aside and as I look up I see Gerard's eyes are closed and I try to walk lighter, not wanting to wake him but after another step he says "Dad could you get me some..." His sentence trailing off as he opens his eyes and sees that it's me instead. I freeze in place as his eyes meet mine, his face busted up and his body broken and I feel my chest grow tight, my heart feeling like its being crushed as I see the love of my life in that condition. "What do you need baby?" I ask when I manage to find my voice again, willing to give him anything he could possibly want. "Water" he says after a few long seconds and I nod, saying "Of course" as I make my way over to where Mikey left a bottle of water before, grabbing it and removing the lid before grabbing the straw he left too and putting it in, bringing it over so Gerard can have a drink. After a few long seconds Gerard slumps back into the pillows and I figure he's had enough so I sit the bottle back on the table before sitting down in the chair beside the bed. "How are you feeling?" I ask, mentally kicking my own ass for asking such a stupid question and Gerard just stares at me for a second before spitting "How do you think?" I sigh softly to myself, my eyes drifting towards the cast on his wrist before saying "I'm sorry, you know I would never do that to you intentionally right? It was an accident and...." "Sorry really isn't doing anything for me" Gerard snaps and I close my mouth, not wanting to say the wrong thing and make him more upset with me. I remain silent for a few minutes, just replaying everything in my head before it becomes too much and I choke out "I thought I was going to lose you. There was so much blood and you wouldn't....I couldn't wake you up" before I get so worked up I can't speak anymore, tears streaming down my face as the image of Gerard's twisted, broken body laying at the bottom of those stairs burns itself even further into my memory, the blood gushing from his head seeming like it would never stop. I take a deep shaky breath before glancing up at Gerard's face and I see his eyes swollen with tears and I sniffle before saying "Don't cry babe, I can't stand to see you cry." Gerard's bottom lip starts to quiver so I shuffle closer to the bed and reach out to gently cup his cheek, Gerard wincing in pain so I immediately remove my hand, my eyes wandering his face and taking in all the damage up close, his beautiful, perfect face busted and swollen and black and it breaks my heart all over again. "Stop" Gerard chokes out, his eyes pleading with me and I frown slightly in confusion as I ask "Stop what?" "Stop looking, I don't want anyone to look" he tells me and I swallow hard as I shift my gaze down to my feet, hearing Gerard sigh in relief and as much as its killing me to not look at him if that's what he wants right now I won't look.

I spend another twenty minutes with Gerard, both of us remaining silent before I decide to leave so his dad can come back in. I run through a million things I want to say in my mind but I don't say any of them as I leave the room, not wanting to upset him any further and once I make it a few steps down the hallway I break, sliding down to sit on the floor, my legs pulled up to my chest as I bury my face in my knees and sob, the image of Gerard broken and bleeding flashing behind my eyes like some sick torture device and I know it will haunt me forever, this whole situation my fault. I sit on the floor bawling my eyes out until a warm hand touches my arm and I jerk back, bringing my head up to see Mikey kneeling in front of me, his forehead creased in concern. "Come on" he says after a few long seconds, pushing himself back up before reaching down to help me up and once I'm on my feet again he leads me down the hall to the bathroom. "Wash you face, get your shit together and we'll be in the waiting room" he tells me, reaching out to take Petes hand before they keep walking and I push open the door, stepping into the men's room and seeing it's empty. I quickly cross to the sink, starting the cold water and splashing some on my face before I look up and catch my reflection in the mirror, my gaze narrowing in on my still swelling black eye, the skin a violent shade of purple before I shift my gaze down to my lip, the skin starting to scab and I feel my hands start to shake as I think about the fight earlier, Ian's words ringing in my ear again. "We kissed....I'm going to fight for him.....You don't deserve him..." I scream out, kicking at the bin beside the basin, sending it flying across the room, trash flying everywhere as I struggle to calm myself down, attempting to take deep breaths.

After I calm myself down again I go and meet Mikey and Pete in the waiting room, the three of us deciding to go get coffee so we all go down to the cafeteria, getting our coffee before taking a seat by the window. We sit in awkward silence for a few minutes before Pete tries to start a conversation and we talk for a few minutes before it dies again and we fall back into the awkward silence. Just as I'm finishing up my coffee Mikey's phone rings and it's his dad, letting us know that we are leaving now and I follow Mikey and Pete back down to Gerard's room, all of us standing outside and I tell them I'm going in to say goodbye and I'll meet them outside. Gerard's dad nods, patting me on the shoulder as he steps past me and starts walking away with Mikey and Pete and I take a deep calming breath before I go back into Gerard's room. As soon as Gerard comes into view I drop my gaze to the floor, remembering our earlier conversation and wanting to do whatever I can to make him feel better. I cross the room to stand beside the bed and once I stop moving I softly ask "Do you want me to stay?" Gerard takes a long time to answer and I almost raise my head to look at him when he says "You should rest, I'll be here tomorrow." I nod slowly, feeling my chest grow tight and a lump form in my throat before I can't take it any longer and I look up, locking eyes with Gerard before saying "I love you." "I love you too" he tells me and I can't help the massive smile that spreads across my face, my lip stinging and throbbing but I don't care, my heart fluttering at his words. I lean in, unable to help myself as I press a feather light kiss to the corner of Gerard's mouth, avoiding all the scrapes and bruises he has and when I straighten back up I say "I'll be back first thing." Gerard nods, his face not as hard and closed off as before and I smile like an idiot to myself as I leave the room, giving Gerard the space he wants right now.

After I meet up with the others downstairs we head back to our hotels, me checking into a new one after being kicked out of the other one earlier and when I get to my new room I go straight for the bathroom, stripping off and getting into the shower, the water so hot it stings a little and the room almost immediately fills with steam but it feels amazing. After I manage to drag myself out I dry off and redress in clean clothes, collapsing onto the bed, my body exhausted but my mind won't shut down, Gerard running through my mind and I decide I can't wait until tomorrow, getting up and pulling my shoes and jacket back on before leaving the room and walking down the street to a small market, picking some nice flowers before getting a cab to the hospital. When I go in the nurse tells me visiting hours are over but I tell her who I am and she smiles and says "Go on up." I get in the elevator, heading up to Gerard's floor and as I approach the room I slow down, running my free hand through my hair as the other clutches the flowers before I gently push the door open and go in, my heart stopping as I see a familiar body slumped over the side of the bed, a hand that's not mine clutching Gerard's hand as he sleeps.


	43. Chapter Forty Three

I wake up to raised voices and when I force my eyes open I see Ian and Frank standing to the side of the room, both of them arguing and I see Franks hands are clenched into fists at his sides, his face twisted in anger. "You don't fucking deserve him and you never did" Ian spits and this sends Frank over the edge, his hands coming up to shove against Ian's chest, sending Ian stumbling back a few steps and I sigh softly before saying "Fucking stop it right now." Neither of them acknowledge my plea and Ian charges at Frank, swinging a punch which Frank dodges before he throws himself at Ian, knocking him to the floor before Frank drops down onto him and starts punching him repeatedly, Ian struggling against him and I can't take it any longer, ignoring the jolts of pain shooting through me as I slide myself to the edge of the bed, slowly sitting up shifting around to stand, easing myself off the side of the bed and as my feet touch the floor I feel my legs buckle underneath me, my whole body falling to the floor and I scream out in pain, my vision going black for a few seconds and the next thing I know there are hands grabbing at me, lifting me back onto the bed as I scream in pain, tears streaming down my cheeks until the pain suddenly starts to fade and I open my eyes to see the doctor standing beside the bed with an empty syringe. My whole body slowly starts to feel weightless, the pain leaving and I feel like I'm flying, my eyes closing for longer and longer each time I blink and I hear the doctor tell Frank and Ian to get out, both of them protesting until he threatens to call security. I force my eyes back open to see them crossing the room, Ian's nose bleeding down his chin and I take a deep breath before saying "Stop fighting." They both stop walking and turn to look at me and I say to the doctor "We need a minute and then they'll go." The doctor nods, eyeing Frank and Ian warily before he leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

Once the doctor is gone Frank and Ian come back over to the bed, standing either side and Franks hand slides down to rest over mine, my arm on that side not broken and as his thumb starts to gently rub back and forth across my skin I say "I'm over this bullshit. I'm sick of seeing you two fight and it's been going on for far too long. You guys were best friends before I came back into Franks life and now that you guys are in a highly successful band this just isn't working anymore. I'm sorry for coming between you two and for letting this go on for so long but this is it. I can't take it any more and neither can your friendship if you plan to continue the band. I love both of you, in different ways but you're the two most important people in my life and I'm not going to be responsible for your fighting anymore. I don't want either of you, no matter who I pick someone gets hurt and the fighting just continues so I pick myself. Both of you need to go home and work out your differences and when I get out of here I won't be coming back to the apartment." I glance up at Franks face, shock written all over it and when I turn my head to look at Ian he's wearing a matching expression. "Babe just think about this and...." "I have Frank, this isn't working anymore and I think after everything that's just happened you should understand why we need distance." We all remain silent for a few minutes before I slur out "You both need to go now and no more fighting," almost ready to pass out as the morphine clouds my mind and I hear a choked off sob before warm, moist lips press softly against mine, moving slowly as I force my eyes back open and I see its Frank kissing me. I move my lips, kissing back as much as I can and a few seconds later when Frank pulls back I see Ian has left the room already. "I love you" Frank whispers, tears streaming down his face and I swallow hard before saying "I know."

The next morning when I wake up Mikey is sitting beside the bed, a large coffee cup in his hand and I sigh as the scent hits me, eyeing the cup longingly. Mikey chuckles to himself as he grabs a smaller cup sitting on the table beside the bed, a straw sticking out of the lid already and I smile as I slowly ease myself up the pillows a little, half sitting as Mikey brings the cup up so I can have a drink, the coffee strong and slightly bitter and I feel it warm me from the inside as it goes down. After I pull away Mikey goes to sit the cup back down but I slowly bring my non broken arm up to take the cup for myself, my grip a little shaky but the lid stops the coffee from spilling out onto me. I slowly bring the cup down to rest against my thigh and Mikey picks his own cup back up before saying "You did the right thing." I nod, thinking about it and finding that I feel a little better emotionally. "How were they?" I ask, wondering what happened after they left and Mikey says "I didn't see Ian but Frank is a wreck. He left for the airport this morning and....well it doesn't matter, he'll be fine." I nod, feeling a small twinge of guilt before I remember that his actions drove us to this point. "So what are your plans now?" I sigh softly before saying "I guess I'll come back home for a while, try and find a job." "You know Pete and I are looking for a new apartment in the city, we could always use an extra roomie and Petes got a few cute single friends." I choke out a giggle, my ribs protesting painfully before I say "Um yes and no, thanks." Mikey chuckles to himself before we fall into a comfortable silence again, sipping at our coffees until the doctor comes around to check on me again, telling me that I can be discharged later in the afternoon.


	44. Chapter Forty Four

Two days later Mikey, Pete, dad and I fly back to America, me still a little shaky on my feet and I can't walk for long periods of time but I have a cane to help me out. We head to the airport and check in, heading over to where we will board once our flight is ready, my legs starting to get shaky and weak and we are almost there when three young girls approach us, staring open mouthed at my still extremely bruised and battered face. "Oh what happened?" One asks and I clench my eyes shut before opening them again and saying "Look guys I'm sorry but I'm really not in the mood for this, I really need to be going so I can sit down. Frank isn't with me, sorry." The girls look a little upset, one of them apologising for bothering me and I try to flash her a reassuring smile before dad guides me towards the chairs we were heading for. We sit for twenty minutes before our flight is called and dad helps me back up, the four of us slowly making our way over to board the plane and once I'm settled in my seat I request an extra pillow and the flight attendant smiles sympathetically at me before leaving, coming back with two pillows and a blanket. "If I can get you anything else just let me know hun" she tells me before leaving and Mikey helps me prop some pillows behind my back, helping me get comfortable before digging my painkillers and water bottle out for me, handing me two pills to take before the announcement comes over that we are preparing for takeoff.

Twenty painful minutes later, the movement and pressure of the takeoff leaving me in extreme discomfort, we are in the air and my painkillers are kicking in, making me feel a little drowsy and Mikey helps tilt my seat back a little, pulling the blanket over my lap and I close my eyes, letting myself drift off to sleep. By the time I wake up again we are half an hour from landing in New York and I sit up properly again, Mikey reaching over to help and once I'm comfortable again he offers me an unopened bottle of juice he has in his bag. The rest of the flight passes quickly and before I know it we are on the ground again, the flight attendant coming around to see if I need any assistance and I smile as I tell her I'll be fine. As we make our way off the plane Mikey leans in and whispers in my ear "I think you're in there" making me burst out laughing, pain shooting up my side and cutting me off and Mikey smiles as he apologises. After we make it out into the airport we go to collect our bags and while I stand back and wait for the others to collect my bags too I hear my name being called and when I turn I see Frank standing behind me, a bunch of roses clutched in his hand as he stares at me hopefully. I fully turn around, coming to fully face him and Frank steps forward, his eyes locked with mine. "Frank I...." I start, being cut off by a girl squealing and we both turn our heads to see we have an audience. Frank turns his head back to look at me and my eyes widen as I hiss out "Get them away from me," my head dropping so I'm looking at the floor, not wanting anyone to see my face. I hear Frank start to talk to someone and I take the opportunity to turn and flee, hobbling away as fast as I can and when I see Mikey I head for him, telling him I need to get out of here right now. Mikey frowns in confusion before nodding and reaching out his free hand to gently wrap around my waist, guiding me towards the nearest exit and just as we reach it I hear my name being called again but I ignore it, continuing to walk until I'm outside where Mikey and I blend in with the crowd, stopping near the door to wait for dad and Pete.

That night we are all back in Jersey and dad sets me up a bed on the couch so I won't have to go up and down the stairs and my body is exhausted so everyone goes upstairs to their rooms, leaving me in peace to go to sleep. I'm laying in the darkened room, the only light source being the tv which is playing some crappy sitcom I'm only half watching when my phone starts to ring and I reach out to grab it off the table, seeing Franks name flashing on the screen. I sigh as I turn the phone on silent and sit it back down, not planning on answering it but just after it stops ringing it starts again, the buzzing of the vibration against the table annoying me and I reach out to pick it back up, hitting the answer button as I bring it to my ear and say "What do you want? Was I not clear in Paris?" Frank remains silent, his breathing being the only sound and I feel myself snap, all the hurt and anger I've been bottling up finally exploding. "Well? What the fuck do you want Frank? I'm done playing games, I've been hurt enough so whatever it is that was so important you had to call when I told you I didn't want to talk to you spit it out right now." "I want to see you, I think we need to talk." "No, I'm done talking. We always talk and you always weasel your way out of it and then go on to do the next shitty thing to fuck me over so I'm not going to see you Frank and I'm not interested in talking this out. I'm not letting you hurt me anymore." I hear Frank choke out a low sob and I grit my teeth, trying to hold back from saying anything else and a few seconds later Frank says "I'm sorry" before hanging up. I groan in frustration as I throw my phone to the floor, my eyes welling with tears and I curl onto my side, burying my face in the pillows as I cry myself to sleep.


	45. Chapter Forty Five

A week after we get back from Paris the band finally goes back on tour, leaving for Australia and I decide to head into the city, knowing the apartment will be empty. My body is starting to heal and I can walk without the cane again, my face starting to lighten up again, the bruising fading. I take the train into the city, Mikey meeting me and we head to the apartment to drop my stuff off, Mikey waiting in the living room while I go down the hallway to the bedroom and when I go in I see it's exactly the way I left it weeks ago before I went to join the tour. As I head back down the hallway I notice Ian's bedroom door half open and when I step closer and push it open fully, glancing in I see the room is empty, absolutely everything gone and I feel my stomach drop as I stand in the doorway and just stare. "Gee" Mikey calls, clearly confused about what's taking so long and when he steps up behind me he follows my line of sight, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder as he softly says "It's not your fault." "It is" I tell him, my eyes welling with tears as my stomach twists into knots. "They wouldn't have been fighting if it wasn't for me, I've ruined their friendship and...." "No Gee" Mikey cuts me off, gripping my shoulder and turning me to face him. "This isn't your fault ok. Frank shouldn't be such a fucking dick and Ian should respect other people's relationships. The two of them should never have put you in the position they did in the first place." I hang my head, knowing Mikey will just continue to blame them when really it's my fault and Spence's angry drunken words from years ago ring in my ear, "You're ruining the band you fucking slut." Mikey's hand tightens on my shoulder, squeezing softly and I look back up before saying "I'm not feeling so great, I might just lay down, can we go for coffee another time?" Mikey frowns, his facial expression telling me he's going to argue but he seems to rethink it, opening his mouth to say "Sure Gee, get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow right? The viewing of the apartment is at 10." "I'll be there" I tell him, confirming our plans to see an apartment together and Mikey smiles and turns to leave, pausing when he reaches the front door to turn and say "Call me if you need anything at all."

After Mikey leaves I wander back into the front of the apartment, going into the kitchen for a glass of water before I cross to the living room and as I go to take a seat on the couch I see an envelope with my name written on it propped up on the coffee table. I sit my glass down so I can reach out and grab it, pulling the letter out and I see its divorce papers, Franks signature on every page requiring his signature and I fold the paper back up, slipping it back into the envelope before dropping it back onto the table, standing up and leaving the room. I walk back down the hall to the bedroom, collapsing on the bed and the scent of Frank invades my senses, making my heart flutter and my stomach clench painfully, my self control breaking and I fall apart, sobbing into the pillows until I pass out, needing a break from reality for a while.

I wake up hours later, the room black around me and I feel myself start to panic, the dark never bothering me before but suddenly I'm terrified, fumbling around with my good hand for the lamp, flicking it on and once I can see I feel the pure terror I felt slowly fade. I slump back against the mattress, breathing deep and even until I feel my heart rate slow back to normal and I slowly sit up again, dragging myself off the bed and over to where my bags are, digging out my laptop and setting it up on the desk where I turn on another lamp. While the computer starts up I leave the room, wandering into the kitchen for another glass of water and when I come back it has fully loaded, a picture of Frank and I displayed on the screen, making my chest grow tight as I look at it. I sit down, opening my Internet browser and deciding to get it out of the way, googling Franks name, deciding to see what's been happening in the last week and a half but what I see makes my blood run cold. There are gossip stories that Frank beat me, pictures of me at airport in Paris busted and bruised without him fuelling their supposed proof and I scroll down further until I find the link to Franks Twitter, only two posts being made in the last three weeks, the last one reading 'No I did no beat my husband and I will not be answering any questions on the matter. There was an unfortunate incident in Paris which resulted in the injuries he's been seen with, no one is to blame, it was simply an accident.' I keep looking for another ten minutes, seeing what all the fans on tumblr are saying about my appearance and the fact that I didn't arrive in Australia with the guys until I can't take it any longer, slamming the lid of my laptop shut and standing, walking away from the desk and I decide I can't stay in the apartment any longer, ignoring the fact that it's two in the morning as I pull my shoes on and walk out the door, stepping out into the early morning rain, letting it wash away my tears.


	46. Chapter Forty Six

A month later Mikey, Pete and I have finally moved into our apartment, my body healed from my fall and I am finally getting the cast off my arm. The last month has been difficult, no one wanting to hire me because of my injuries but I managed to find a small record store who were willing to take a chance on me after I told them my cast is coming off and I start my first day tomorrow. After the doctor has the cast off and tests that I have full function of my arm again he tells me I'm free to go and I step out onto the street, smiling wide as I head back towards the apartment. When I get there I get in the shower, scrubbing at my arm before getting out again and when I redress I go into the living room where I see a small crowd of people I don't know, Pete and Mikey throwing a housewarming party and I look up at the clock, seeing it's still early so I head back to my room. Twenty minutes later I hear a knock on my door and I call out for whoever it is to come in, too comfortable on my bed to get up and when the door opens I see Bert come into the room, him being the only friend I had to invite to the party. "Hey" he greets me, smiling wide and I get up, my face pulled into a grin as I cross the room to hug him, his arms slipping around my waist as he pulls me into his chest, the scent of cigarettes and cologne invading my senses and I feel my whole body shiver, making me realise just how horny I am and how long it's been since I had sex. I continue to hug Bert for a few more seconds, wondering if it's been too long now but he doesn't protest, his arms holding me to him until I pull away, his face still pulled into a massive smile. We cross the room to sit on my bed, shifting around to face each other as we start to catch up and Bert tells me he's working for Marvel Comics now, my mouth dropping open and he chuckles to himself, making my cheeks go red as I giggle too. "So what have you been upto? How have you been? I saw this news story and...." "Yeah, it probably wasn't true" I tell him, filling him in on everything that really happened before adding "But I got my cast off earlier and I'm starting a new job tomorrow so things are looking ok." "So you and Frank are...." "Technically we're still married but right now we're not together." Bert nods before saying "Well don't worry, you're a catch, you could have your pick of anyone." I feel my cheeks go red again as I say "So how about you? Boyfriend?" Bert smiles sadly as he shakes his head and says "No, I ended something a couple of months ago, we'd been together for two years but it just wasn't working anymore and I didn't want to see him unhappy." "I'm sorry" I offer as I reach out and rest my hand over his, squeezing softly and Bert smiles again and says "Its alright, it's really for the best."

Half an hour later Bert and I are in the living room with everyone else, grabbing food and drinks before heading back to my room and on my way out of the living room Mikey catches my eye, raising his eyebrow at me and I just smile back, following Bert as we head out into the hall, not really interested in socialising with Mikey and Petes friends. After we've eaten Bert and I settle on my bed watching a movie and occasionally telling each other things we've forgotten to mention and halfway through the movie I turn my head to tell Bert something I've just remembered but when I look he's staring straight back at me, our faces just inches apart and the words die in my throat, my breath catching as our eyes lock and I'm not sure who moves first but we start leaning in, both of us moving until our lips are pressed together, my eyes slipping closed as we slowly kiss. We kiss soft and slow for a few seconds before pulling apart and as I go to open my eyes again Bert says "I'm sorry I...." But I cut him off by surging in and reattaching our lips, Bert kissing back immediately and I slip my tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss as I shift around onto my knees, climbing over to sit in Bert's lap, straddling his legs and he leans back against the headboard, his hands coming to grip at my waist. We continue to kiss, the mood turning more and more heated and I slide my hands down to tug at the bottom of Bert's shirt, pulling it off him and once it hits the floor he does the same with mine, his hands rubbing up and down my bare back before he knocks me back onto my back, climbing over me and leaning down to kiss me again, my head spinning as I kiss back desperate for more. Our hands continue to wander each other's bodies, our pants eventually coming off and by the time we're both fully naked our lips are red and swollen and sore but we can't seem to get enough of kissing each other and as Bert settles between my legs, trailing kisses down the side of my neck I reach out one hand, opening the drawer beside the bed and grabbing a condom and the lube in there, sliding them under Bert's hand which is braced against the mattress by my side and he pulls away from my neck, looking to the side to see what it is and his eyes drift back to meet mine, his eyes swimming with lust, his pupils blown.

Bert and I fuck fast and frantic, our hands grabbing at each other wherever we can reach and after a few minutes I knock him onto his back, rolling over to settle on top of him and as I start to move my hips I push myself up, quickly working up a rhythm until I'm full out riding Bert's dick, his hands gripping my hips hard enough to bruise and I feel myself getting close to cumming, Bert's dick bigger than Franks and it feels amazing. I slow down a little, Bert snapping his hips up to keep the rhythm and I pant out "I'm close." "Me too babe" Bert pants back, his hips snapping up, thrusting deeper into me and I moan softly, not wanting anyone to hear and come in as I start bouncing harder and faster again, my hands braced against Bert's slightly sweaty chest and after another few minutes I wrap one hand around my dick, stroking faster and faster as I keep riding Bert until I feel the tingling tightness become too much, my back arching as I cum all over Bert's chest and stomach, my eyes rolling back into my head a little as I feel myself go limp, every nerve in my body tingling and pulsing and just as I finish cumming I feel Bert twitching and pulsing inside me. I remain seated in Bert's lap for a few seconds, regaining my breath before I climb off and cross the room to where my shirt ended up, using it to wipe the small traces of cum off my skin before I turn to offer it to Bert, seeing him tying the condom off and he looks up, his eyes questioning and I gesture to the bin beside the desk in the corner, Bert standing and walking over to it before stepping over to me and taking the shirt I'm offering. Once we're both cleaned off we pull our boxers on and climb back into bed, settling under the covers as we lay facing each other and Bert says "Gee I can't....that didn't...." "I know, me either" I tell him, my hand coming up to cup his cheek and I lean in and press another soft kiss to his lips. "It just nice to be close to someone sometimes" I tell him, relieved we are on the same page and Bert smiles and nods in agreement, leaning in to kiss me again as he wraps his arm around my waist and we lay side by side sharing soft kisses until we fall asleep, both feeling comforted and content.


	47. Chapter Forty Seven

The next morning I wake up with an arm wrapped tight around my waist, a warm body pressed to my back and I tense up for a second before last night comes flooding back to me and I relax again, melting back into Bert's chest as I let myself enjoy the closeness. Ten minutes after I wake up Bert stirs behind me, his arm leaving my waist as he rolls onto his back, stretching out a little before he sits up and glances down at me, a small smile spreading across his lips before he says "I'm glad we never did that years ago, I would never have appreciated it fully back then." I feel my cheeks turn pink as he smiles wider and I can't help but smile back, feeling no regret at all for what happened last night. I sit up too, stretching a little and when I turn my head to look at Bert again he leans in and catches my lips in a soft kiss again, slowly moving his lips with mine before pulling away and saying "Thank you for last night, it was really great." I nod in agreement, unsure of what to say and Bert chuckles as he climbs off the bed and says "Its ok Gee, it doesn't have to be awkward or dramatic or anything. We're friends, that's all and we're both free to make those kinds of decisions, I'm not going to cause you drama or call you a million times and beg to do it again. It was amazing but if one night was all it was meant to be then that's ok, we can still be friends and it will be alright." I sigh in relief, dragging myself off the bed and stumbling across to Bert where I wrap my arms around him in a hug. "Thank you" I tell him, feeling his arms slip around my waist again and when we pull apart he finishes getting dressed before saying "We should definitely hang out more now you're back in the city, I had a lot of fun catching up last night." "Yeah of course, I'll call you and we can organise something" I tell him and Bert smiles as he pulls his shoes back on before stepping over and sliding his hand around to cup the back of my cheek. "I don't just want to see you socially, if you need someone to talk to you call me ok? I'll always be there." I nod, feeling a sense of relief wash through me as I realise I not only lost Frank but I lost my best friend and confidant in losing Ian too. Bert continues to stare into my eyes for a few seconds before he leans in and kisses me one last time, just a soft slow movement of lips before he pulls back and says "I'll see you around Gee."

After Bert leaves I grab some clean jeans and one of Franks old vintage band shirts that happened to be mixed in with mine, figuring that will help me fit in at the store before getting in the shower, washing myself thoroughly before getting out and drying off. Once I have my clean boxers on I step over to look in the mirror, patches on my chest and side still bruised and when I let my gaze drift up to my face I sigh to myself as I reach up to run my fingers through my hair, pushing it back off my face as I focus on my eye, the skin no longer swollen and it's not immediately obvious I've had a black eye but if you look close enough you can see the skin looks darker under one eye than the other, looking like one eye didn't get enough sleep compared to the other and just above that I see the scar from where I split my forehead open, the pink line running almost halfway across my forehead and I make a mental note to pick up some concealer on my way home, hoping from now on I'll be able to cover it. I grab my toothbrush, brushing my teeth before I get dressed incase I spill or dribble any on myself and after I've rinsed my mouth out I grab my clothes and get dressed, heading for the bedroom to pull on my shoes and once I'm fully ready I grab my phone and see I have half an hour to get to the store so I grab my keys and wallet and head out, no sign of Mikey and Pete anywhere so I figure they're still passed out recovering from last night, the living room and hallway a mess of empty cups and bottles and I sidestep it all on my way out.

My first day of work passes quickly, the manager a nice guy who takes a relaxed attitude towards his job so it's not as stressful as I feared it could be. I learn almost everything, the different sections of the store, how to work the register and how to hold items and order items in for customers and I make four sales, the day being kinda slow but after my first two sales I get out on the floor when someone comes in, offering help and making suggestions when I know what they're talking about and by the time my shift is over the manager smiles and says "You're a natural, you're quite knowledgable about music, you must be a big music lover and...." "Actually I learned a lot from my husband, he's in a band and he's a massive fan of pretty much all music." "Oh nice, does his band play shows? I'd love to see them in action." "Yeah they're in..." But I'm cut off by the next song coming on over the speakers, Franks voice sounding out around the store and I swallow hard, the manager looking at me strange until I say "That's him, actually. They're in New Zealand at the moment." "Your husband is Frank Iero?" He asks, mispronouncing our last name and I nod, not bothering to correct him. He continues to stare at me for a few long seconds before he smiles and says "I thought you looked familiar, I've been trying to place you all day. So weren't you on tour with them for a while?" "Yeah, um it's not like public knowledge so please don't say anything but we're separated for right now." "Oh" he says, his eyes widening and his smile drops as he says "Yeah of course I won't say anything, I'm sorry." "It's ok" I tell him, glancing at the clock and I see its time for me to leave, the manager showing me how to clock out before telling me when to come for another shift and once I step out onto the street I start to head home, stopping for pizza for the three of us and by the time I get to the apartment it has been cleaned up but Mikey and Pete are laying on the couch together, both of them whining and groaning as the tv plays low in the background and I chuckle to myself as I sit the pizza boxes on the table. "You guys want a beer?" I ask, smirking to myself and Mikey groans out "Oh fuck off." "Overdid it last night?" I ask, finding it amusing that they still have hangovers at four in the afternoon and Pete lifts his hand to lazily give me the finger before the scent of the pizza hits him and his eyes snap open, a grin spreading across his face as he says "I knew there was a reason I love you Gee." I laugh to myself as I leave the room, kicking off my shoes by the front door before going into my bedroom and changing into pyjama pants and another tshirt, stopping by the kitchen for some cokes on my way back to the living room and Mikey, Pete and I start a stupid horror movie as we settle back and eat, the day being the best one I've had in a long time and I can't help the smile that's plastered on my face.


	48. Chapter Forty Eight

The rest of the afternoon and night pass with Mikey, Pete and I watching another movie before moving on to play video games and after a while Mikey says "So how was Bert?" "What?" I snap, my cheeks heating up until I realise he just meant how has be been and Pete laughs before saying "You fucked him didn't you?" "No" I snap, dropping my gaze down to my lap as I feel my whole face go red and Pete laughs before saying "Come on Gee, you can tell us." I look back up, meeting Mikey's gaze and he smiles and says "Good for you, are you gonna see him again?" "Yeah but it's not like that, we're both going through a break up and we both know it didn't mean anything, we're just friends and...." "Hey it's ok, we're not judging you or anything" Pete tells me. "Actually we're really happy for you. You seem a lot happier today and it's nice to see." I smile as I say "Thanks. Yeah today's actually been the best, I love my new job, the manager is really cool and...." "Oh god I forgot that's where you were, I'm such a dick. How was it?" Mikey says and I chuckle before telling them all about it and both Pete and Mikey smile before Mikey says "That's great, I'm glad you like it so much."

By the time I climb into bed it's really late, my body exhausted from all the physical activity it's done today, no longer used to moving around and being on my feet all the time and just as I drift off my phone starts ringing. I reach out and grab it, seeing the time on the clock beside the bed is 1.30am and when I look at the name on the screen it's Frank. I frown to myself, wondering why he's calling me now after we haven't spoken in almost two months and I hit answer, bringing the phone to my ear. "Hello?" "Hi Gee" Frank says, his voice a little scratchy and I take a deep breath before asking "How are you?" "I'm ok" he says but I know he's lying so I say "Really?" "I miss you so much" he chokes out, his voice cracking before he adds "Are you in the city?" "Yeah" I tell him, letting my eyes slip closed again and I hear him take a deep shaky breath before he says "Can you come over?" "Frank...." "Please, I can't be alone right now" he pleads, his voice sounding scared and I sigh as I say "Alright, I'm coming." I drag myself back up after we hang up and change, grabbing my keys and wallet before going downstairs and hailing a cab. Fifteen minutes later the cab stops outside Franks building and I go upstairs, knocking on the door and it opens almost immediately, Frank obviously waiting for me and after I step inside I turn to really look at him, his eyes red and bloodshot, the skin under them dark and saggy and he looks frightened. "Frankie" I breathe out, opening my arms and he launches himself into my chest, clutching at my shirt as I hold him to me, his body tense but the longer we hug the more relaxed he gets. "When was the last time you slept?" I ask when we pull apart, my hand coming up to cup his cheek. "I dunno, a few days I think" he tells me, leaning into my touch as his eyes slip closed and I sigh to myself as I slide my hand down to wrap around his waist, guiding him down the hallway to the bedroom. "Get some sleep Frankie" I tell him as I help him into bed and he wraps his hand around my wrist, his eyes wide and frightened as he says "Please don't go." "Shh, it's alright, I'm right here" I tell him as I pull the blanket up over him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and Frank tugs at my arm until I'm laying down beside him. Once I'm settled Frank slides up to cuddle into my side and I wrap my arm around him, holding him close as he falls asleep, feeling bad seeing him in this state. As Franks breathing evens out I find my own eyes growing heavy and the steady rhythm of Franks breathing helps lull me to sleep. I wake up a few hours later, needing to use the bathroom and as I go to sit up I find that my hands are tied to the headboard, my head snapping up to see the handcuffs wrapped around my wrists and I start to panic, realising my feet are tied to the bed posts too and I thrash around, the lamp coming on and I see Frank standing beside the bed. "What are you doing? Let me go" I demand, tugging against my restraints and Frank leans down over me, his face hovering just inches from mine as he says "You're not going anywhere ever again. I'm not letting you leave me again." "Frank stop this" I plead as I thrash around, the look in Franks eyes terrifying me further as I try to get away and just as Frank opens his mouth to speak again I scream out, my eyes snapping open and I come face to face with Mikey, his arms wrapping around me as I sit up and glance around, seeing I'm back in my room and it was just a dream. "Shh it's alright, you're ok" Mikey tells me as he rubs my back and I slump forward against him, my head resting against his shoulder as my breathing slowly returns to normal.

Once I fully calm down again Mikey lets me go and I slump back down against the pillows, Mikey looking down at me as he asks "Are you ok now?" "Yeah, I'm sorry for waking you up." "It's fine Gee, do you need to talk about it?" I shake my head, not wanting to think about the dream anymore and Mikey nods before standing up and saying "I'm gonna go back to bed but if you need anything just come get me." "Thanks Mikes" I tell him, sending him a grateful smile and Mikey smiles back before leaving the room, pulling the door closed behind him and once I'm alone again I roll onto my side and curl up, reaching out to grab my phone and I start to scroll through old messages between Frank and I, the loving messages making me feel a little better until my eyes grow heavy and I sit the phone back down, pulling the blankets right up as I drift back to sleep, wondering whether the dream is a sign that I need to talk to Frank again.


	49. Chapter Forty Nine

I don't bother calling Frank, not even sure what I would say if I did call and I continue on with my life, working my shifts at the record store and three weeks after I start I'm working with the manager Andy again, the afternoon being slow and we are talking about going to see this new band he's really excited about when the bell over the door goes off and I glance up to see two guys enter the store, one tall with long shoulder length hair and the other is shorter with tattoos all over his arms. Andy and I let them wander around, giving them a chance to browse and as I round the counter a few minutes later to see if they need help the tall one looks up and I freeze in my tracks, my face breaking into a smile as I say "Hey." William smiles back, turning to face me and I walk over to stand in front of him. "How have you been?" He asks and I shrug as I say "Fine, how about you?" "Yeah good, we're heading into the studio to record our new album next week and...oh wait I don't know if you two met, Gee this is the butcher" William gestures to the tattooed guy standing beside him and I smile as I say "I think we briefly met but hey it's nice to meet you again." "Yeah, it's good to see you" he offers, turning back to the CDs in front of him and I turn my gaze back on William. "So can I help you guys with anything?" I ask, Williams eyes widening as he says "You work here?" "Yeah I just started a few weeks ago and...." "What happened to working the merch?" He asks, clearly confused and I just shrug and say "Didn't really work out but I like it here so it's all good." We continue to make small talk for a few minutes until Williams band mate is ready to go and as he's paying for his purchases William and I exchange numbers, planning on catching up around his recording schedule.

A few days after I run into William I get a message from him asking if I'm going to Franks show in Jersey the following night, the guys finally back in the country and I message back telling him I wasn't planning on it. No reply comes through for a while and fifteen minutes later my phone starts to ring, Williams name on the caller ID and I answer, knowing he's going to ask what's going on. I decide to get it out of the way, telling him the basic details of what happened and why I'm no longer on tour with the band and William says "Look I'm going with a bunch of my friends if you want to come, we'll be in the crowd, blended in, you could just come have a good time." I think about it for a minute before saying "Yeah ok, do you mind if I bring a friend?" "Of course not" William tells me and after we hang up I call Bert, asking if he has plans and when I tell him what I'm asking for he tells me he'll be there. I get online and buy two tickets, knowing I shouldn't have to pay but I don't want Frank to know I'm going so I charge them to my credit card and text Bert what time and where we are meeting Williams friends to travel in to the show.

The next day I wake up and head into work, working the early shift with Andy again and we make small talk between customers but as the morning goes on I start to get nervous. "Is everything ok?" Andy asks and I swallow hard before saying "I'm going to see Franks show in Jersey tonight and he doesn't know and I'm kinda nervous to see him again." "I'm sure it will be alright" he tells me before adding "I'll buy you a drink, help you get through it." "You're going?" I ask, Andy smiling as he says "Yeah, I didn't want to mention it because I know it's probably not really something you'd want to talk about." "It's fine, really" I tell him and when our shift finishes I tell him I hope to see him later. I head home, the apartment empty so I take a shower before I go into my bedroom and pick an outfit, going with black skinny jeans and a band tshirt, pairing it with black boots and a leather jacket and just as I'm applying a small amount of eyeliner under my eyes I hear the front door open and the sound of talking, someone knocking at my door a few seconds later and when I go over and open it, my hand running through my hair I come face to face with Bert, dressed similarly to me and his eyes drop down, raking up my body until he reaches my face again and he softly says "Well fuck," his eyes holding just a hint of lust and I feel my mouth pull into a smile as I say "So I look ok?" Bert chuckles as he reaches out and runs his fingers through my hair, messing it up a little before pulling away and saying much better. I turn and walk back over to the mirror, taking in my appearance and my hair looks like I was just fucked, sticking up and messy but it looks good. "You ready?" Bert asks, his eyes glued to me and I suspect he was staring at my ass while I wasn't looking and I smile and nod as I grab my wallet, keys and phone, sliding them into my back pocket as I follow him out into the hallway, Pete wolf whistling at me as we pass their bedroom door and I stop to poke my tongue out at him, making him laugh as he says "Have a good time." As Bert and I reach the front door Mikey steps out and gives me a hug, whispering in my ear to have a good time and not to worry about Frank. I nod as we pull apart, Bert grabbing my hand as we walk out the door, and when we get down onto the street we start the four block walk to the subway station we are meeting William and his friends at, Bert's grip on my hand helping ease my nerves.


	50. Chapter Fifty

The train ride into Jersey seems to pass by in seconds, Bert and I talking to and joking with William and his friends and when we finally get off the train we head for a nearby diner, still having two hours before the show so we get some dinner, me mostly pushing my food around as my nerves come back and take away my appetite. I finally get tired of it so I sit my fork down, and pick up my cup, sipping at my soda and Bert's hand slides across to rest on my thigh under the table, his body leaning into my side a few seconds later as he softly says "It's alright Gee." I nod, taking a deep breath and twenty minutes later everyone else is ready to go, all of us throwing in money to cover the bill before we leave, heading down the street to the venue and as we join the line the two girls in front of us recognise me, turning to talk and I say hi, quietly asking that they not draw attention to me and they smile and agree, continuing to talk to me until the doors open and we head in, the small venue getting fuller and fuller until I'm confident that Frank probably won't see me.

The opening band comes on its obvious they're nervous, the singers voice sounding off but the crowd seems to enjoy them, some kids singing along to their songs. Three songs in William taps me on the shoulder and when I turn to look at him I see another guy standing beside him, his arm around Williams waist and William smiles as leans in and says "I want you to meet my boyfriend, Gabe." I smile as I hold my hand out, Gabe reaching out to shake it and we all turn to focus on the band again, the noise too loud to try and compete over it to have a conversation. By the time Frank comes on I have relaxed again, none of the kids in the crowd seeming to notice I'm here and it fills me with confidence that Frank won't either. As the rest of the band fiddle with their instruments, making sure they're properly tuned Frank starts to talk to the crowd, thanking them for coming and I don't really pay attention to his words, my eyes taking in every detail of him, the way his clothes hang differently now like he's lost weight and his hair has grown out, curling around his ears and it almost reaches his shoulders now. I try to focus more on his face and it's hard in this lighting but even from this distance it looks like his eyes have lost that sparkle that I love. I start to feel guilty and upset as they launch into their first song and Bert steps around in front of me, his arms wrapping around my waist and his hands sliding down to rest over the top of my ass, ignoring all the dancing, moving bodies around us as he stares into my eyes, leaning in close to say "Gee its alright, just breathe" and I realise I was gasping for breath. "He....I know he's hurting and....." "Hey, you were too Gee, you did what you had to do. Frank is a big boy, he's on stage performing so he can't be that bad. Just relax and enjoy yourself." I nod, leaning forward to rest my forehead against Bert's as I take a few deep breaths and when I pull back his eyes dart to the side before coming back to meet mine, his face pulling into a smile as he leans in and pecks the end of my nose. I feel myself smile as he pulls away completely and once he's beside me again I glance up in the direction he was looking in and I see Andy, his face looking a little upset as he stands with another guy watching the show. "Oh I see my friend from work, I'm gonna go say hi" I tell Bert, gesturing to Andy and Bert looks over before looking back at me and saying "The baby faced one with the tattoos that's been eye fucking you since we got here?" I laugh before saying "What?" "That guy over there has been leering at you for the last half hour, why do you think I grabbed your ass? He looked like he might get rapey given the chance." "Oh my god that's kinda my boss" I tell Bert, laughing and Bert laughs too before I tell him I'll be back, pushing my way through the crowd until I reach Andy, reaching out to touch his arm as I come to stand beside him. "Hey" I greet him, offering him a smile and Andy flashes me a small, obviously fake smile as he says "Hey, enjoying the show?" "Yeah they sound good tonight, are you having a good time?" Andy glances over at me again, his eyes quickly dropping down to take all of me in before he says "You look good." "Thanks" I offer back, the conversation dying and just as I open my mouth to ask if he wants to go to the bar for a drink Andy leans in and says "Your boyfriend seems a little obsessive." "What?" I ask, my eyes snapping up to look at Frank but he's not looking in our direction before I realise what he's talking about and I glance over to see Bert staring at us. "Oh, he's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend, he knows how nervous I am being here." "Oh" Andy says, his eyes locking with mine and his expression suddenly changes, his face not so closed off and he leans in and says "You wanna get a drink?" "Sure" I tell him, letting him take my hand and lead the way to the bar.

Fifteen minutes later Andy and I have had a drink and I head back over to Bert and William, apologising for being so long and Bert leans in and says "I'm sure lover boy didn't mind you being over there for so long." I smirk to myself as I say "Are you jealous?" Bert's arm snakes around my waist as he steps around to stand in front of me again, his free hand coming up to cup my cheek as he stares into my eyes and says "Should I be?" "I don't know" I tell him, my smirk remaining in place and Bert's eyes flicker with something I can't quite put my finger on, his whole facial expression going a little darker and as he leans in closer Frank and the band launch into their next song, the guitar slow in the intro and a few seconds into it I realise what song they're playing, my eyes widening as Frank starts to sing the first line of Vermilion, Pt. 2 and when I realise he's changed the song a little for their cover, all the female references being male references and I know it's my fault he's singing such a slow, sad song. I pull away from Bert, my feet dragging me towards the stage and as I start to push my way closer through the crowd I realise what I'm doing and I stop, five people back from the front and Frank has his eyes closed, singing his heart out and as the song reaches the end his voice cracks, Frank stopping singing and turning his back to the crowd and the two guys singing backup take over, finishing the song as Frank stands back near the drum kit, his back still to the crowd and as I go to step forward, planning on going right to the front of the crowd an arm wraps around me from behind and Bert drags me back a little as he says "Are you sure that's what you want to do?"


	51. Chapter Fifty One

I don't end up approaching the stage, Frank turning a few seconds later to return to the microphone and I turn and rush back into the darkness, heading back towards William and his friends and when I get there William wraps his arm around my shoulders as he says "We're gonna head out in a minute, the set it almost over and we want to beat the crowd but it's still kinda early so we're gonna hit up a club a few blocks from here. Do you wanna join us?" I think about it for a minute, knowing I don't have work tomorrow so I decide to stay, nodding and saying "Yeah that sounds like fun." William smiles and we turn our attention back to the stage to see Frank giving it his all, thrashing around as he plays his guitar and I just know how sweaty he would be right now, how heated his skin would be and how if I were backstage and looked at him the right way he would throw me over his shoulder and take me somewhere to fuck, how hot the sex would be and how hard he would make me cum. I feel my eyes slip closed as I let my imagination run wild for a moment, my dick twitching in my pants and when I hear Frank let out a groan, his panting for breath audible over the mic my eyes snap open, fixated on him before I realise these jeans are so tight they hide nothing and I look down at my shoes, willing my semi erection down. Once the song is done and the music stops I look back up, seeing Frank take a drink before he says "So you guys have been fucking awesome but this is gonna be our last song of the night." The crowd collectively groan and I lean over to tell Bert about the club but he frowns and says "I can't, I have stuff to do tomorrow." "Oh, did you want me to come back with you?" "No you go, I'll be fine." I stare at his face, looking for any sign that he's lying but he seems genuine so I nod, the last song starting and William grabs my arm and says "We're gonna head out now." I nod in acknowledgement, looking over and finding Andy watching me and I smile as I walk over, inviting him to the club with us and he nods, telling me he'd love to after he finds his other friends and tells them he's leaving.

We make our way outside, Bert calling a cab to get back to the train station and we stand around and wait, the cab only taking a few minutes and Andy still hasn't made his way out here yet. The cab pulls up and Bert turns and wraps his arms around my waist, his hands resting dangerously close to my ass again as he leans in and says "I had a really great time, we should hang out again." "Yeah, thanks for coming with me" I tell him, my arms sliding around his neck to hug back but as we move in he tilts his head at the last second and presses his lips to mine, kissing me soft and slow before pulling away and winking at me as he gets in the cab, William and Gabe whistling and whooping at us and I turn to face them, my cheeks going red as I giggle and just as the cab pulls away Andy comes out, walking over and I introduce him, telling William he's going to be joining us. Five minutes later we arrive at the club, getting carded by the bouncer as he lets us in and as we pass the front William reaches out and grabs my jacket, tugging on it and I look at him in confusion. "It's gonna be hot as hell, we're checking our coats." I nod, helping him slip it off my arms and once they're taken care of William grabs my wrist, tugging me along behind him and I reach out and grab Andy's hand, knowing he'll be alone if I disappear and he slides his hand around, slipping his fingers through mine as we are dragged into the main room, the music blaring and in the limited lighting we can see all the writhing, sweating bodies grinding on each other. William turns his head, his eyes sparkling as he looks back at us and winks, charging forward and dragging us into the crowd where we immediately start bumping into people and once we're well into the crowd he stops walking and turns, starting to move with the music and the other bodies surrounding us and when I remain still he chuckles and leans over to whisper something to Andy, Andy chuckling too before stepping around in front of me, his hands coming to grip my hips and he starts moving, helping me move along with him until we're dancing the same as everyone else, grinding on each other a little as we are forced closer and closer to each other by the crowd and when I glance over I see William with his tongue down Gabes throat, both of them moving to their own rhythm and all their friends have disappeared. I look back at Andy and he's smirking at me with a mischievous glint in his eye and I let myself relax into the situation, wrapping one arm around his neck as we move together, the contact feeling good.

An hour after we arrive at the club we are well on our way to getting drunk, William and Gabe encouraging us to drink more and more but when Gabe pulls a bag of pills from his pocket William takes one before offering Andy and I some and I shake my head, not really sure I want to but William leans in and says "Gee its alright, Gabe and his friends made them, I know there's nothing really bad in them, he wouldn't let me take them if there was." I look over at Gabe, seeing him watching us and I swallow hard as I nod, figuring I may as well try it and William places one pill in my hand, handing me a beer bottle and I swallow it down, Andy doing the same and ten minutes later I start to feel different, more loose and when S&M starts blaring over the speakers Andy grabs my hand, giggling as he leans in and says "Come on Gee, we have to dance." I giggle back as I let myself be dragged into the crowd, William and Gabe following and we all start to dance, Andy's hand on my back slipping lower until it's resting over my ass and he uses the grip to pull my hips into his, our crotches grinding and rubbing together as we move to the suggestive music and I spot William and Gabe out of the corner of my eye practically fucking on the dance floor. I smile as I continue to look around, seeing almost everyone else doing the same thing, grinding and making out as the song plays and when I turn my head to look back at Andy again he raises one eyebrow at me, his lips pulled into a smirk and I decide to go for it, my hand on his shoulder sliding up to tangle in his hair as I pull him in, leaning forward as I smash my lips to his, Andy kissing back immediately, his tongue sliding into my mouth and I let my eyes slip closed, getting lost in the sensations flooding through me and we make out for so long I don't realise the song has ended and another generic techno track has started. By the time we pull apart for air William and Gabe have disappeared from beside us and Andy is staring at me like he wants to take me into a dark corner and fuck me and I let the idea briefly cross my mind, the arousal I felt earlier at the show coming back and as Andy keeps grinding against me his smile turns into more of a smirk, his eyes growing even darker with lust and I know he can feel my half hard dick grinding against his. "I'll be right back" I tell him, removing myself from his grip as I turn and flee into the crowd, heading for the men's room and as I make my way across the room I hear people talking about Frank but I don't think anything of it, hundreds of people being named Frank and for all I know it could be another name for some kind of drug. I finally reach the men's room and as I push the door open to go in someone is coming out and we collide, the guy coming out too busy looking at and talking to the person behind him and as I start to fall he reaches out and grabs me, keeping me on my feet and I look up and see its Frank, both of us freezing as we stare at each other, everything slowing down around me as we lock eyes until someone behind us shouts for us to get out of the way.


	52. Chapter Fifty Two

As Frank guides us out of the doorway he spins us around, pressing me back against the wall beside the door, our gaze never breaking and after a few more seconds I snap back to myself and gently reach down to where his hands are resting on my hips, guiding them off me and once the contact is broken Frank seems to snap out of it. "Gee" he says softly, his voice barely audible over the music and I shake my head as I say "I have to go," slipping out from between him and the wall and I flee back into the crowd, the more people between us the calmer I feel and after I'm a decent distance away I stop, breathing out a sigh of relief and I start to wonder why seeing Frank up close had me so worked up when arms snake around my waist and I spin around to see Andy standing there. "You ok?" He asks as he leans in so I can hear and I swallow hard as I say "Um Franks here and...." "Gee" I hear, turning my head and I see Frank standing beside us, his eyes drifting down to look at Andy's arms around my waist. "Get your hands off my husband" Frank snaps, Andy's eyes widening and I feel him start to pull away but Franks eyes go dark as he raises his hands and shoves Andy, sending him stumbling sideways into the other people dancing around us and as I turn to tell Frank to back off Andy shoves past me and swings a punch into Franks face, sending him falling to the floor and I step inbetween them, trying to break up the fight but Frank launches himself off the floor and shoves me harshly aside as he launches himself on Andy, almost knocking me to the floor and all hell breaks loose, both of them getting a few punches in before the crowd around them seems to get involved, a large fight breaking out and as security swarm on the area I get punched in the face, my lip immediately starting to bleed and I turn and flee, fighting my way through the crowd to the exit.

As the club starts to empty, everyone being forced out onto the street I scan the crowd for William, Gabe and Andy and I don't see William and Gabe but I see Andy, his arms restrained as he's being escorted out by security, blood running down his face and I watch as they escort him to the waiting police car on the street. A few seconds later I hear someone shouting and I look back to see Frank in the same position, only he's trying to fight against the hold the security has on him, thrashing around and yelling. I push my way through the slowly thinning crowd, some people standing around watching as Frank and Andy are questioned by the police and I make my way closer, sitting on the edge of a garden nearby as I watch too and after around twenty minutes the cops let Frank and Andy go, letting them off with a warning and Andy starts to walk down the street, Frank looking around before he spots me and he walks over and sits beside me, my lip having stopped bleeding but my skin and shirt are stained with blood. "Are you ok?" Frank asks and I scoff as I turn my head to look at him and say "I would have been, if it wasn't for you." "Gee I..." "No Frank, just shut up. My life was finally going good and you come back and I get hurt again. That was my new boss you just punched so thanks, now I probably don't have a job anymore. It's not like I have bills to pay or anything and...." "Gee if you need money I...." "I don't want your money" I snap, standing up before adding "I don't want anything from you Frank, I knew going to see you tonight would be a mistake and sure enough you proved me right, you've fucked everything up and succeeded in driving me away yet again so congratulations. You know I never signed the divorce papers and now I'm asking myself why." I turn and start walking down the street, taking slow deep breaths to try and calm myself down and I make it three blocks, heading back towards the train station when I hear footsteps behind me and when I turn I see a tall, muscular man a few steps behind me, my heart rate picking up as I start to walk quicker and when I turn to face in front of me again another man steps out of an alleyway just ahead of me and I feel my heart stop, realising there's no way out of this as I slow my pace and the guy behind me steps up and wraps his arm around my upper body, his hand covering my mouth as he guides me forward with his body, forcing me into the alleyway where I see another two men. I stand terrified as I watch one of the men approach me, a pocket knife in his hand and I try to struggle but the guy holding onto me tightens his grip, forcing me to become still as I'm trapped against his chest and the man with the knife brings it up, pressing the blade against my neck, not quite hard enough to cut but enough to make me feel the pressure of it. "Well well look at this pretty little thing" he spits, his eyes raking up and down my body and I blink rapidly, my eyes welling with tears as I struggle to breathe through my nose, the other guys hand still over my mouth. "I like them pretty" the man adds as his hand trails down my side, sliding inwards until he's groping at my crotch, and I kick out, desperate to get his hands off me and he presses the knife just a little harder into my skin, making it sting slightly as he says "Feisty too." "Stop" I plead, my voice muffled by the hand over my mouth and the man with the knife tells the other man to move his hand. "What was that princess?" "Stop, I'll give you anything you want just...." "Hey" I hear being shouted, the men all looking back to the entrance of the alleyway and suddenly I am dropped to the ground the four men fleeing towards the other end of the alley and I curl up on the ground, sobbing and shaking as I think about what just almost happened and a few seconds later hands grab me, making me scream and try to fight against them but I hear a familiar voice say "Shh, hey it's alright now" and when I look up I see Franks face, his arms gently scooping me up and he cradles me to his chest as he carries me from the alleyway.

I bury my face in Franks neck as I sob, my eyes clenched shut and I have no idea how far we go before suddenly the noise of the city fades and I suddenly feel warmer and I pull my face out of Franks neck to see we are in a hotel lobby, Spence and Ian rushing over to us and I tense up, burying my face back in Franks neck as he starts walking again. I vaguely register us being in an elevator before we get out again and a minute later I hear a beeping, Frank not moving before we start moving again and as Frank tries to lay me on the bed I tighten my hold on him, scared that if he lets me go something bad will happen so he continues to hold me as he turns us around, sitting on the bed with me in his lap. Frank remains silent for a while, just letting me cry it out, my whole body shaking as his hand gently rubs up and down my back and after a few minutes he whispers "Shh my love, you're ok now. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I've got you and it's all gonna be ok now." I slowly feel myself start to relax again, my tears stopping and my whole body starts to shut down, slumping further into Franks chest as my eyes slip closed and the last thing I register before I slip into unconsciousness is Frank laying me on my back and saying "That's it baby, close your eyes, it's alright, I'm right here and I'll protect you."


	53. Chapter Fifty Three

I wake up a few hours later from a nightmare, dreaming I was back in that alley with the knife pressed to my throat before I shoot up, flipping myself off the side of the bed and falling to the floor as I scream, my entire body drenched in sweat as I shake uncontrollably, attempting to slide back across the floor before I realise I'm in a hotel room, not a dirty alley. I hear a quiet rustling before suddenly the room is lit up, the lamp beside the bed coming on and I squeal again in shock as Frank comes into view, sliding off the side of the bed towards me and joining me on the floor. "Hey it's ok" he says, his voice soft and calming but I still feel afraid, sliding my knees up to my chest and curling in on myself as I continue to pant for breath. I let my eyes slip closed, attempting to calm myself down and a few seconds later i feel Franks arms wrap around me, gently guiding me into his chest and I go, allowing my body to melt into his as I bury my face in his neck again. "I'll never let anyone hurt you like that baby, I promise you" Frank whispers in my ear and I nod slightly, letting him know I'm listening and we fall into a comfortable silence, Frank holding me while I try to pull myself together again.

Ten minutes later I slowly pull myself back from Franks neck and I feel his warm hand gently cup my chin, guiding my head up so I am looking at him and he smiles softly before saying "The room has a tub, how about I run you a bubble bath and you can soak for a while? Make you feel a bit better?" I bite my bottom lip, thinking about it for a moment before nodding a couple of times, my clothes sticking to me with the dried sweat from the show and the club and my nightmare, making me feel grimy and Frank smiles a little wider before climbing to his feet, crossing the room away from me and going into the bathroom where I hear water start to run before he comes back out and kneels down, offering me his hand and gently helping me back up to sit on the edge of the bed. Frank turns and leaves again and while he's in the bathroom I allow myself to glance around and I notice his lyric journal laying open on the bedside table and just as I slide across, wanting a closer look at what he's been writing Frank comes back into the room and I freeze immediately, feeling like I've been caught red handed and Frank pauses in his step, his eyes drifting from my frozen state to his lyric journal and back again. "It's not ready so I'd really rather you didn't read it but I won't stop you" he tells me and I swallow hard as I meet his gaze and nod, pushing myself to stand from the bed and I slowly make my way across to the bathroom, Frank stepping aside to let me pass before following me in and after he's turned the water off, the tub almost full he turns to look at me again and I pause, the hem of my shirt clutched in my hands but I make no move to pull it up and off while he's looking. "Sorry, I'll just be out here" Frank mumbles after a long second and once he's gone, the door closing behind him I continue to tug my shirt off, sliding my hands back down to work on my belt and just as I pop the button on my jeans, the zip sliding down a little the door flies open again with no warning and I jump, a soft startled noise escaping me and Frank curses softly under his breath and says "Sorry, I should have knocked, I just wanted to give you this robe for when you get out and I'll just be out here when...." "Could you stay?" I ask softly, feeling uneasy again and Frank looks back up to meet my gaze, staring straight into my eyes as he says "Of course, whatever you need."

After he fully steps in and closes the door again Frank turns around to give me privacy to get undressed and once he hears me splash around in the water he turns back around slowly, making sure I'm under the bubbles before making his way across to sit on the closed toilet. I sigh softly in contentment as I let myself sink lower into the water, the heat making my body relax and I lean my head back against the end of the tub and close my eyes, feeling myself calm down even more and when I reopen them a few minutes later I see Frank staring intently at me. "What?" I ask, breaking our silence and Frank just smiles and shakes his head a little, leaning forward to rest his elbows against his thighs as he says "You know when you go to a gallery and you see a piece of art that's so special and so beautiful you can't help but smile and you can't help but feel moved just by looking at it?" "Yeah" I say, feeling slightly confused and Frank smiles even wider and says "Well that's how I feel right now, looking at you." I feel my cheeks heat as I turn my head to look away from him, my heart hammering in my chest and butterflies flapping up a storm in my stomach before reality sets in and Paris comes flooding back into my mind. "You can't sweet talk your way..." "I'm not trying to" he tells me, making me turn my head back in his direction. "I'm just being honest" Frank says and I stare at his face, seeing the completely serious expression on it. "Ok" I offer, not sure what to say and we fall into silence again, my eyes slipping closed as I hum softly in contentment, the bath really helping to make me feel better.

Twenty minutes later I manage to drag myself out of the tub, Frank leaving the room while I dry off and once I'm dry I glance around and realise that I don't really want to put my boxers back on, all my clothes slightly damp and grimy so I pull on the thick robe Frank brought me, tying it tight around my waist before I step back into the room where I find Frank sitting on the end of the bed waiting for me. "Feel better now?" He asks and I smile slightly and nod, taking a breath before asking "Could I maybe borrow some clothes, mine are all...." "Of course, my bag is over there, I did laundry yesterday so everything in it is clean so take your pick" he tell me, gesturing to his bag on the table in the corner and I slowly cross the room and dig through it, finding a pair of boxers and some sweat pants and a shirt that actually belongs to me. Once I'm done I quickly pack all the other clothes back into the bag and cross back to the bathroom, going in and dressing before coming back out and Frank is laying in bed, the covers pulled back on the other side of the bed and he pats the empty part of the mattress a few times, looking me in the eye and I breathe deeply, climbing in beside him and after he pulls the blanket up over me he gently guides me to lay on my side facing away from him, his body sliding over to press against my back and his hand slides down my arm to rest over mine, his fingers gently easing their way inbetween my own and I decide not to fight it, feeling warm and content and safe and I let my eyes slip closed as I shift my arm down to rest across my stomach, pulling Franks arm with it and I feel myself drift off again while Frank holds me close.


	54. Chapter Fifty Four

The next time I wake up its to soft voices and when I force my eyes open I see Frank and Spence standing in the doorway talking in hushed voices and I let my eyes slip closed again, rolling over so I'm laying on my stomach and I bury my face in Franks pillow, inhaling deeply as I contemplate going back to sleep, feeling warm and content still but a minute later I hear the door click shut right before the bed dips beside me and suddenly Frank lowers himself down ontop of me, his face burying in the back of my neck and I feel his lips press a soft kiss to the top of my spine. "Wake up sleepy head, it's checkout time soon" Frank whispers to me before pressing another soft kiss to my shoulder and climbing off to settle beside me, my face reluctantly pulling out of the pillow to look at him and I groan loudly, pouting to let him know I am unhappy with the situation and he chuckles softly to himself before saying "I'm sorry babe, you can sleep on the bus." "Bus?" I ask, my voice thick with sleep still and Frank reaches down and gently pushes my hair back off my face as he says "Yeah we have a few days off before the next show so we're all heading back to the city." I nod, slumping back into the pillow and Frank chuckles before climbing off the bed and yanking the blankets off me, laughing louder as I curl myself into a ball to stay warm and when I feel his hand grab at my ankle I kick out, trying to curl into an even tighter ball but Frank grabs my foot and starts tickling the bottom and I thrash around, kicking out and trying to get away from him as I start to laugh, Frank laughing along with me as I beg him to stop and his fingers freeze on my foot, his other hand still firmly wrapped around my ankle as he says "Are you gonna get up now?" I pout and remain silent, pretending to think about it so Frank starts tickling again and I squeal slightly, kicking out and trying to pull my foot away again as I say "Yes, stop," more giggles escaping me and Frank hums in victory as he lets go of my foot and as he turns and steps away from the bed I quickly stand and jump onto his back, making him stumble forward a few steps, almost falling before his hand comes around to grab my thigh, helping keep me up and on his back before I fall off and I wrap one arm around his neck as my other pokes at his side and he squirms around and stumbles to the side, almost falling again as we both laugh and when he regains his footing he takes us over to the bed and falls onto it, taking me with him and suddenly it's on, both of us wrestling around and trying to tickle each other between fits of laughter until I have Frank pinned beneath me with his arms trapped beneath my hands above his head, his laughing making him weak and I squirm around ontop of him, poking my tongue out and gloating before I lean down and lick his cheek, pulling back to laugh and gloat some more but as I pull back his face surges up and his lips smash into mine, pressing forcefully and in that second I forget everything else and start to kiss back, my hands loosening on his wrists and he quickly slides them down to grip my hips, his body moving up to sit and I follow the movement, sitting back straddling his lap and our chests are pressed together as our tongues slowly move together, Franks hands warm and tight around my hips.

We continue to kiss heatedly until a knock at the door breaks us apart, both our mouths red and swollen and my chest is heaving as I pant for breath. As I sit back and open my eyes again, finding Frank staring at me in awe what just happened fully sinks in and I climb out of his lap, crossing the room as I run my hand through my hair, taking deep breaths to try and calm down and as I turn back Frank is standing by the bed, his own chest heaving as he stares at me looking slightly heartbroken. "Babe" he says softly and I pause, standing there just staring at him and the knock sounds again before Ian's voice calls out "We need to check out in ten minutes, move your ass." Frank seems to snap back to himself a little and he moves to collect his bag, pulling on shoes and I go into the bathroom to collect my dirty clothes, Frank offering me a bag to put them in when I come back out and once he has all his stuff we make our way downstairs where I stand around in the lobby awkwardly while the guys check out and when we go outside we get into a van that takes us a few blocks away to where the bus is waiting, the ride extremely awkward as the other guys and some of the techs stare at me and I curl in on myself a little, looking down into my lap and Franks hand slides across to gently rest over my thigh, squeezing softly.

Once we're all on the bus Frank takes my hand and leads me into the bunk area and once the door is closed and we are alone again he turns to me and asks "Are you still tired?" I shake my head, feeling way more alert now and slightly uncomfortable and Frank sighs softly and says "Do you wanna come sit in the lounge then?" "Do you mind if I lay in your bunk?" I ask, feeling uncomfortable under the judgemental stare of the guys and Frank just nods, reaching out and pulling the curtain back for me and I climb in, shifting around to make myself comfortable and Frank smiles sadly at me for a moment before he turns and walks away, going back into the front lounge with the rest of the guys. The ride to the city seems to take hours but finally the bus slows a little, regularly stopping and starting as we hit city traffic and I hear footsteps before the curtain on the bunk is pulled open again and Frank starts to climb in, my body sliding right back against the wall to let him in and once he's laying beside me his arm wraps around my waist and pulls me into his chest as he says "Babe, I think we need to talk about us." I remain silent, not sure of what to say or where Frank is going with this conversation and after a long second he continues. "We either need to get our problems sorted out, or you need to sign the divorce papers. I love you but it's not working how it is and we need to make a decision." I remain silent, unsure of what to say with him putting me on the spot like this and after a long minute of silence Frank moves to slide back out of the bunk but I reach out and wrap my arm around him, keeping him pulled against me as I say "I think we should go to therapy."


	55. Chapter Fifty Five

When the bus finally stops Frank and I remain in his bunk for a while, our conversation having lapsed into silence after he agreed to therapy with me and we just lay together, my head resting on his chest as he holds me close, one hand gently playing with my hair as my arm wraps around his waist, my fingers gently rubbing against the bare skin of his side where his shirt has ridden up. We lay in silence until the sounds of the other guys moving around collecting up all their stuff and moving it off the bus fades and Frank rolls his head to the side, pressing his lips to my forehead before saying "We should get going." I nod, sliding back a little so Frank can get out of the bunk, his hands reaching back in to help me out too and as I make my way back into the front lounge he double checks his bunk before going into the back lounge to make sure he didn't miss anything, coming back and telling me he packed everything yesterday morning so we grab his bag from the hotel off the table in the front lounge on our way out the door, Franks suitcases sitting in the parking lot beside the bus. While we are collecting them all up a cab pulls up and Franks manager comes over and tells us it's for us and we thank him as he helps us load all Franks bags into the trunk before we climb in and the manager tells Frank he'll call him before shutting the door and we drive away, Frank giving the cab driver the address for the apartment before trailing off and looking over at me, asking "Or, actually I don't know where you....." "The apartment is fine" I tell him, a small smile spreading across his face as his hand slides across and into mine, our hands remaining entwined for the rest of the ride.

By the time we manage to get the last of Franks stuff upstairs I am exhausted, dragging the last bag down the hallway into the bedroom before I collapse onto the floor and when Frank comes back in from the bathroom he chuckles softly before saying "Wouldn't the bed be more comfy?" "This is ok" I tell him, letting my eyes slip closed and a few seconds later I hear a soft rustling and when I open my eyes Frank is sitting beside me, his hand reaching down to gently push my hair back off my forehead. "I've missed you, more than I thought could be possible" he tells me and I swallow hard before saying "I've missed you too, but after everything I've been through I think it's best that I've learned to stand on my own. I can't keep letting you hurt me Frank and our relationship isn't healthy." "I know I've done some really fucked up things, our whole relationship even but more so recently and I know you don't deserve even a fraction of what I've put you through and I know most other people would have walked away years ago but after everything we somehow manage to find our way back to each other and I think that means it's really meant to be. It kills me that I hurt you so badly in Paris" Frank trails off to reach out and gently take my hand, the one he broke, pulling it into his lap before he continues. "You know I never meant for that to happen right? I would never intentionally hurt you that way I just got caught up in everything that was happening and it was like I couldn't control it and I hate myself for it. I love you Gerard, you're the most important thing in the world to me and I know we agreed to therapy but I think I also need therapy for myself because I don't want to hurt you anymore."

We fall into silence again after that, our relationship still in ruins but it feels like we are in a better place. We move from the floor to the bed and after a while of holding me Frank gets up and starts to unpack his bags, sorting through his clothes and getting ready to wash them over the next few days before he leaves again and I lay under the covers and watch him until my eyes drift shut and I fall asleep. I wake up a few hours later from a nightmare again, hands touching me and I freak out, screaming and throwing my hands out to try and protect myself before I hear a dull thud followed by a gasped curse and I snap my eyes open, seeing Frank kneeling beside me holding his mouth and I realise I just punched him. "Shit, I'm sorry" I rush out as I sit up and Frank shakes his head, his hand coming down from his mouth as he says "It's alright, are you ok?" And I see his bottom lip starting to swell a little, the skin below it going red. I ignore his question, my hand slowly reaching out to cup his chin and I gently stroke my thumb over the spot I just hit and Frank leans into it, his eyes locking with mine and I frown as I say "I'm sorry" again. "I had it coming, don't worry about it" he tells me, smiling slightly and I feel my lips pull up slightly as I smile back before I lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his chin, only just catching his bottom lip and as I go to pull away Frank tilts his head down and leans forward, pressing his lips against mine and we share a soft slow kiss, no tongues, just the gentle movement of our lips together and when the kiss should be done neither of us seems willing to pull away, Frank pulling back for just a fraction of a second for a breath before his lips are moving with mine again, our mouths slightly parted but still no tongues and it feels different and special and full of feeling and after another few seconds Frank shifts around and gently eases me back onto the mattress, his body settling over mine and his hands come up to gently tangle in my hair as he continues to kiss me soft and sweet.

Before I know it Frank and I are kissing a little more forcefully, our tongues starting to come into play as we gently tangle just the tips together and Frank slides one hand down out of my hair, softly stroking the side of my face as he makes his way down before trailing it down my side and when he reaches my hip he slides it back up under my shirt, his warm hand spread out against my side and it feels like his skin is burning mine but it feels amazing. After another minute I guide us to roll over, Franks back pressed into the mattress as I straddle his hips and his other hand slips down and under my shirt too, both of them trailing up and down my bare back while I press my body down closer against his and I feel his half hard dick pressing against mine, the breath leaving my body for a second as a shiver of want runs up my spine and when I pull away to gasp in air Franks hands slide back down and tug my shirt up, his eyes questioning and I sit back in his lap, his dick pressing into my ass and I squirm slightly to tease him a little as I grip the front of my shirt and we both work to pull it off me, throwing it on the floor as Frank sits up and reattaches our lips, his too warm hands touching my back again and I slide my hands down to tug at his shirt, getting it up around his neck before he pulls back and allows me to take it off, his shirt joining mine on the floor before he tips us to the side and as he trails his lips down my neck I feel his hands tug at the waistband of my sweat pants and I relax back into the mattress, bringing my feet up to brace against it as I push my hips up and Frank sits up and shuffles back on his knees as he starts to slowly ease my pants down, my boxers going with them and once I'm completely naked Frank pauses, glancing up at me for a second and when I show no objection he leans down and presses a gentle sucking kiss to the head of my dick, making my whole body shake as I groan softly, my eyes slipping shut and when I feel the warm wetness of his mouth engulf me I gasp a little louder, my hands clenching in the sheets as my eyes remain closed and Frank starts a slow steady rhythm, gently sucking and licking as he bobs up and down on me, clearly in no rush to make me cum and it feels amazing, every nerve in my body feeling like its pulsing with pleasure.

Frank continues to blow me for a few more minutes, periodically pulling off to kiss and lick up and down my length like he's worshiping my dick before he takes it back into his mouth again, one of his hands gently rubbing against my lower stomach while the other works on his belt and when he has his jeans open he shifts around and tugs them down far enough to kick them off, pulling off my dick again and as he kisses down my length he keeps going, gently kissing over my balls as he guides my legs apart further, his warm hands gripping the back of my thighs and pushing them up towards my chest a little, exposing my hole to him fully and he wastes no time in kissing straight down to it, his tongue gently darting out to lick over the puckered flesh and I let my eyes slip closed again, my body shaking as he starts to full out rim me, his tongue working my hole perfectly and I feel my entrance getting slick and wet right before his finger gently works its way inside and I push down against it, urging him deeper while his tongue licks around my now stretched hole and I could cum just from this, beads of precum rolling down my dick as my body feels overheated but somehow it's just not enough. Frank continues to finger and rim me for a few more minutes, adding a second finger before he slips them from me and presses one last kiss to my hole, the bed shifting slightly and I force my eyes back open to see Frank reaching into the drawer for lube, squirting some into his hand before he reaches down and slicks himself up, my eyes widening at the sight and I know it's probably my mind playing tricks but I swear his dick is even bigger than it was before and after he wipes his hand off on the sheets he settles back between my legs, gently guiding them back up how he had them before as he lines himself up and gently slides his way inside me, the stretch slightly burning and when I gasp he pauses, only half way in but giving me time to adjust and after a moment he leans down and presses his lips to mine as he thrusts forward a little more and I breathe deeply against his lips as he bottoms out, his dick filling me up and stretching me open more than I remember in the past but I love the burn that shoots up my spine. Once he's fully settled inside me Frank pulls back just a little, his face still close enough to mine that our noses brush, his hands braced against the mattress either side of my head and I wrap my legs around his hips, keeping them up how he wanted them and we share a soft smile before he pulls back half way and thrusts in again, a soft gasp leaving my mouth and he keeps going, building up a steady slow rhythm and it's nothing like our usual frantic sex where we try to bring each other undone, this is slow and soft and for once I feel like it wouldn't even matter if we cum or not, the whole act feeling more important than the end result and I bring my hand up to tangle in the back of Franks hair, bringing his face back down just a fraction so I can kiss him again.

We fuck for what feels like hours, both of our bodies covered in sweat, beads rolling down Franks neck and chest and dripping onto mine and the sheets are soaked beneath me, my whole body feeling tired and spent but we still haven't cum yet and I don't want to stop, my head swimming and when I gulp in a breath I can smell and taste the muskiness in the air around us, the whole room smelling of sex and sweat and it just turns me on even more, my whole body constantly shaking and twitching and every touch from Frank feels like an electric shock. "I love you baby, with everything I have and I want to be the man you deserve" Frank pants against my lips and I shake all over as I stare into his eyes and say "I love you." We fall silent again after that, our harsh panting being the only sounds in the room before Frank gasps out "Fuck, so amazing baby" and I nod frantically as I pant back "I never want to stop." Frank smiles wide as he leans down to kiss me again and after another few minutes I shift my hips, Frank slipping just a little deeper with the new angle and I practically scream in pleasure, Frank smirking as he raises his eyebrow at me, his hips snapping forward just a little harder and my back arches off the bed, my body pressing up against his even more and we both know this is it, Franks hips snapping forward harder and faster and I move underneath him, pushing back against his rhythm and it only takes a few more thrusts, Franks stomach rubbing against my dick just right as its trapped between our bodies before I feel something in me let go and I start to cum, the first spurt shooting out with such force it splatters against our chests and as my muscles contract Franks whole body tenses and shakes and I feel him start to pulse inside me, our hands grabbing at each other wherever we can reach as he cry out in pleasure, my eyes slipping closed as I keep cumming, my head tilted back into the mattress as I gulp for air, a constant stream of moans and broken pleas escaping me and Frank buries his face in my exposed neck as he does the same, making way more noise than I've ever heard him make in this situation before and he cums so much that before he even pulls out I can feel it running out of me soaking the sheet beneath me and as he pulls his hips back the last little spurt shoots out and hits my stretched hole, making my whole body shiver at the sensation. "Fuck babe" Frank pants out and when I force my eyes open I see him kneeling between my legs, his eyes fixed on my hole and he reaches out and slowly rubs over it, my whole body twitching at the feeling as I groan and he chuckles softly to himself before gripping my thighs and gently easing my legs back down onto the mattress and once I'm comfortable he collapses down beside me, his hand taking mine and we both roll onto our sides so we're facing each other as we try to regain our breath, my whole body feeling sensitive and overheated.


	56. Chapter Fifty Six

After Frank and I manage to drag ourselves out of bed we stumble into the shower where we help each other wash and when the hot water runs out we climb out again and dry off, Frank leading us naked back to his room and I dig through the closet for some clean clothes, finding another one of my shirts and a pair of jeans I left behind. Once I'm dressed again I grab a pair of Franks old converse and pull them on, Frank finally dressed too and as he joins me on the bed again I tell him "I should probably get going." "Wait, you could....I mean would you want to maybe...." Frank trails off and I slowly shake my head as I say "I don't think that's the best move for us right now. We have a lot of things we need to work on and I think we need to keep a little distance until we do. Plus Mikey was expecting me back last night so I should probably get home before he sends a search party out for me," my tone going playful at the end to try and lighten the situation and Frank nods, letting out a long breath before saying "Well at least let me go with you, so I know you get there safe, please?" "Ok Frankie" I tell him, standing up and Frank follows, grabbing his keys and phone and wallet and I grab my own wallet and phone, taking my bag of clothing from last night and we head out, grabbing a cab and heading across town to my apartment and when we get there Frank looks so pathetic I can't stop myself from asking "Do you want to come up for a while?" Franks face almost splits in two as he nods, reaching out to take my hand and I slip my fingers through his as we go inside and get in the elevator, riding up to the right floor as Frank stares at me looking ready to burst with happiness.

When we get to the apartment I knock on the door, having not taken keys with me and when the door opens and Mikey sees me he launches himself on me as he says "You fucking idiot, where have you been? You didn't call and your phone isn't on and....Oh hey Frank," his tone going slightly icy at the end. "I'm sorry Mikes, I kinda ran into some trouble last night and my phone....." I start but Mikey cuts me off by saying "What trouble?" "Uh, these guys tried to...." I trail off, feeling myself start to panic and Frank steps up and wraps his arm around my waist. "It's ok, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, remember?" He whispers in my ear as I turn and bury my face in his neck, his arms tightening around me. "Gee are you ok?" Mikey asks and I nod, my face still buried in Franks neck and Mikey steps aside, letting us in and Frank gently guides me through the door, his arms still wrapped around me until I feel ready to pull away. After I'm ok again I take Frank on a tour of the apartment, Mikey going back into the living room with Pete and after we've seen everything I take Frank into my room and close the door, Mikey and Petes reaction making it too awkward for us to want to be in the living room. "I like your room" Frank tells me as he looks around, stopping to browse all the new CDs I've bought since working at the record store before crossing and joining me on the bed. "Thanks for bringing me home" I tell him after a few long minutes of silence and Frank shifts around and pulls me into his chest, his arms holding me close as he says "Of course, thanks for letting me."

Frank ends up hanging out for an hour before he goes home again, asking what I have planned for tomorrow and I tell him I'm working if I still have a job and he frowns apologetically before telling me to call him if I want to hang out. After he's gone I go into the living room and hang out with Mikey and Pete, filling them in on what happened after the show and Mikey frowns and says "Gee how could you be so stupid?" "I was angry and I wasn't thinking" I tell him and he crosses the room to sit on my couch with me, pulling me into his side as he says "Well I'm glad Frank came looking for you then." It starts to get late and I decide to go to bed, my body feeling exhausted and as I strip down and climb under the blankets I smile to myself as I replay why I feel so worn out and just as I reach out and turn the lamp off my phone buzzes on the table so I reach out and grab it, pulling the charging cord from it before laying back and opening the message from Frank. 'I wouldn't think it's possible after earlier but the scent of you on these sheets is making my dick hard again.' I feel my cheeks flush as I type out a reply, 'Aww that's so sweet of you' smiling wide as I hit send and a minute later Frank sends back 'Haha smart ass. Get some sleep and have a great day tomorrow. Love you.' I smile even wider as I sit the phone back down and I curl up around a spare pillow, letting my eyes slip shut and I drift off to sleep almost immediately.

The next morning I wake up late and I have to rush to get ready, not having time to stop and eat anything on the way to work and as I rush through the door I'm only just on time and Andy looks up from his place behind the counter, his cheek and eye discoloured and swollen but not bad enough to have an actual black eye and I freeze in place, swallowing hard before approaching the counter and I stand on the other side, not going around yet as I say "Andy, I'm really sorry about the other night and...." "Look you know what Gerard I don't think...." But he's cut off by the bell over the door ringing and when we both turn to look we see Frank coming into the store, a smile on his face as he looks at me before he turns to look at Andy and his expression goes serious. "Hey man, can we talk?" He says to Andy and Andy glares at him before saying "Actually I'm in the middle of something with my employee and you're not welcome in this store so...." "Please, just five minutes?" Frank presses, his eyes darting over to me before focusing on Andy again and Andy sighs and tells me to go get the new shipment from out the back and start stocking the shelves, his tone harsh and demanding and it's the first time he's ever spoken to me this way. I nod, making my way out the back of the store and as I grab a knife to open the first box I hear Frank say "Look what happened the other night, I'm here to apologise. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and touched you but seeing someone touching my husband I...." "You think you're so fucking high and mighty because you're famous but really you're just a pathetic piece of shit that likes to abuse his own husband. Maybe if you were a better human being Gerard wouldn't be scared of you and try to replace you" Andy spits at him and I tense up, waiting for a fight to break out again but as I wander back over to the door to go back into the main part of the store I hear Frank say "It's true, I deserve that and I'm only here to help him, I know he's scared to lose this job because of what happened and I don't want to see that happen." "Well I guess that's just another way you've fucked up his life then" Andy spits before calling out my name. I slowly make my way into the front of the store and Andy steps across and opens the register, counting out money before holding it out in my direction and as I reach out and take it he says "That settles us up, get out of here, you're fired." I feel my heart momentarily stop and my eyes well with tears as Frank steps over and wraps his arm around my waist, gently guiding me towards the door as he turns his head and says "You're a fucking cunt," pausing as I continue out the door and onto the street and after a second I hear a loud crash and when I spin around I see Frank has pushed over a full stand of new CDs and records near the door, scattering them all over the floor and breaking some of them and he flips Andy off before stepping outside and grabbing my hand, leading me down the block and away from the store.

I follow Frank for two blocks, both of us remaining silent before Frank stops and pulls me into a coffee shop and he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my temple before telling me to go take a seat and after he's ordered us coffee he comes and joins me, sitting in the same side of the booth as me and once he's arms around around me I break, leaning in and burying my face in his neck as I start to cry a little. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I never meant to be ruin this for you and I know this is my fault and it's just another way I've let you down. Don't you worry about the money though ok, I'll take care of it for you" Frank whispers to me and I continue to cry into his neck, not offering anything back and we stay that way until the waitress brings over our coffee and we pull apart to drink, Frank having also ordered us brownies which we share and by the time we finish I feel a little better, Franks arm wrapped securely around my waist where it's been the whole time.


	57. Chapter Fifty Seven

After we leave the coffee shop we are walking down the street hand in hand when someone calls out Franks name and we both turn to see three teenage girls approaching us, one of them wearing a cellabration shirt and I drop Franks hand to reach up and wipe at my eyes, hoping they're not red and puffy and Frank looks over and watches me, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. After he signs autographs and takes a few pictures, pulling stupid faces and making me laugh he grabs my hand again and we continue walking, heading back towards my apartment and when we get there Mikey and Pete are gone so we settle in the living room and turn the tv on, Frank sitting on one end of the couch while I lay with my head in his lap, my feet hanging over the other end and he gently runs his fingers through my hair as he says "Babe I really am sorry about your job, I know how much you liked it, Mikey told me how hard it was for you to get and..." "It's ok" I tell him, not really wanting to talk about it and he frowns but doesn't say anything else and after another few minutes he says "Are you free tomorrow afternoon?" "Uh yeah why?" I ask, turning my head so I'm looking up at him. "I made us an appointment with a therapist" he tells me and I smile a little and nod, asking him what time and he fills me in on all the details before our focus turns back to the tv again and after the show we are watching is over I roll to the side and drop onto the floor on my hands and knees, stretching my back a little and when I look back up Franks eyes are focused on my ass. "You want a picture?" I ask, shaking my hips slightly and his cheeks go slightly red as he tears his gaze away from my ass to look at my face, and he giggles softly before saying "Well I wouldn't say no." I start laughing too before pushing myself to stand and as I leave the room Frank stands too and follows me, both of us going into the kitchen and I open the fridge, looking for something to eat and I pull out a bunch of leftovers, Frank coming over to help me heat them back up and once it's done we both sit at the table with a plate and eat, Franks feet tangling with mine under the table and halfway through our meal I ask him to tell me about Australia, his face lighting up as he recalls funny stories and by the time he runs out we have finished eating and have moved into my room, laying on the bed as we laugh together at the stories.

The afternoon drags on and just as it starts getting dark Frank gets a call from Ian and he tells me he has to go, sending me an apologetic smile and I smile back as I climb off the bed and walk him to the door, letting him out and he tells me he will come by and pick me up tomorrow for our therapy appointment. The following morning I get up and take a shower, making myself presentable and printing out some resumes before I head out, going to some art stores and other record stores, trying to seem confident but a few of the clerks rattle me a little and I don't hold out much hope of getting a job from them. By the time I get back home again my feet hurt from all the walking and I nod a vague hello to Pete who is in the living room on my way past, heading into my bedroom and by the time I make it there I have my shirt halfway unbuttoned making Frank who is laying on my bed waiting for me whistle in appreciation. "Holy fuck" I curse as I jump, not expecting him to be there and he laughs as he climbs off the bed and comes over to me. "Sorry baby" he apologises before pressing a kiss to my cheek and when we pull apart I keep going, unbuttoning the shirt and taking it off and after I've dug another more comfortable shirt out of my closet I turn back to Frank who is sitting cross legged on the bed watching me. "How long have you been here?" I ask, crossing to sit beside him and Frank turns so he's facing me as he says "Like half an hour, I was getting ready to call you, where have you been?" "Job hunting" I tell him, falling back to lay on the bed and Frank looks down at me and says "How did it go?" His voice sounding guilty. I shrug, not really in the mood to talk about it further and after a few minutes of silence Frank pulls his phone from his pocket and says "We should probably get going babe, our appointment is in half an hour." I nod, pushing myself to sit up again and after Frank has pulled his shoes back on we leave the apartment, Frank hailing us a cab and giving the driver the address of the therapist.

The therapy appointment lasts an hour and after we recount the trip to Paris, which was our breaking point the therapist looks shocked before recovering and her face goes back to being neutral, but when I glance over at Frank I can tell he noticed too. At the end of the appointment the therapist tells us that she thinks regular sessions will really help us and that we should set ourselves agreeable boundaries in regards to living arrangements and spending time together so that we don't rush things too soon. We nod, the therapist smiling warmly at us as she says "It's very reassuring to see the level of open communication you guys seem to have, that's a really good thing and something you need to keep up." After we leave the office Frank asks if I'm hungry and I nod, not starving but feeling like I could eat and he asks if he can take me for a late lunch. I agree and we head to a nearby restaurant, ordering drinks while we look over the menus and when the waiter is gone Frank says "So, what did you think?" "I'm not really....I mean I think it would probably be a good idea to go again" I tell him and Frank nods before saying "It sucks that I have to leave again the day after tomorrow but when I find out the schedule we can book more appointments and I'll just fly back for them." "Are you sure?" I ask, wondering if that's even going to be possible and Frank reaches across the table to take my hand in his as he says "Of course, these sessions are important to you and they're important to me too and I want this to work." I smile and squeeze his hand before letting go and turning back to my menu, both of us only just making a decision as the waiter comes back with our drinks and asks for our orders. Even though we both ordered what we wanted we end up sharing off each other's plates and by the time we are done I am stuffed, Frank asking if I want dessert but I shake my head, dropping a hand down to rub at my stomach and Frank just smiles and asks the waiter for the cheque as he passes our table, leaving some money for it when it comes back and we leave the restaurant hand in hand, wandering down the street a little before Frank hails a cab and we go back to my apartment.


	58. Chapter Fifty Eight

The next afternoon Mikey and I are sprawled out on a couch each in our living room watching a b grade horror movie when he turns his head to look over at me and says "How are things with Frank? I've noticed you're spending a lot of time together again," surprising me as I know he isn't happy with the situation. "We're....well I don't really know. We're in therapy, so I guess we're working on it and he's doing what I ask which is different. So I guess we're kinda together?" I tell him, unsure of what to actually say or what Frank actually thinks is going on. "He's leaving for LA for tour again tomorrow so I don't know what will happen" I add, Mikey humming in acknowledgement as he nods and we both turn back to the movie, watching more stupid teens in the woods get slaughtered and just as an intense scene comes on there's a knock at the door and I jump, having been sucked in by the movie and Mikey laughs to himself as I roll off the couch to go answer it, my head shaking as I smile to myself and when I open the door my smile grows a little wider as I see Frank standing there with a bunch of flowers in his hand. "Hey baby" he greets me as he offers me the flowers and I take them as I say "Hey, what are these for?" "When I saw them I thought they were beautiful, just like you so I thought you might like them and...." "Frank" I say, cutting him off as my cheeks go bright red and he chuckles to himself as he steps inside and wraps his arms around my waist, his lips pressing to my cheek.

Frank and I end up in my room and after I've put the flowers where I want them to go I join him on the bed, laying on my back with my legs bent up and my feet braced against the mattress and Frank shifts around and lays on his side facing me. "So the reason I came over was....can I take you to dinner? I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not sure how long it will be until I can get back" he tells me and I roll my head to look at him, pursing my lips and frowning as I pretend like I'm thinking about it and Franks expression drops slightly before I laugh and say "Yeah of course." Franks smile comes back and he leans in to kiss me, his lips softly brushing against mine and I lean in and make it a proper kiss, our lips working together for a few seconds before we pull apart again and Frank shuffles closer and curls into my side, his face nuzzling into my neck. "I've really really missed you" he tells me, and I hum softly, wanting to tell him the same but unsure of what that will mean if I admit it out loud, not wanting this to move too fast again. Frank shuffles a little closer until there is no way he could possibly get any closer to me without laying on me and his arm slowly snakes it's way across my lower stomach, his hand coming to rest gently over my hip and I give in, turning my head to the side and slightly nuzzle my face into his hair. We lay like this for a while just enjoying the closeness before Frank pulls back, pausing to press a soft kiss to my forehead before he sits and slides his way off the bed, offering me his hand to help me up before he leaves the room, telling me he'll be waiting while I get ready.

Dinner passes pleasantly, Frank taking me to a nice restaurant and after we've eaten we slowly walk down the street hand in hand, the city still bustling but slowly calming down as the night gets later and a block away from the restaurant we pass by three buskers, one of them with a violin and they are playing soft sweet music and Frank turns to smile at me, pulling me to a stop and the next thing I know one of his arms has snaked around my waist, resting warmly against my lower back and he uses the grip to pull my body against his, his other hand shifting around to tangle his fingers with mine and as he brings our hands in to rest between our chests he starts to slowly move us, the smile on his face the biggest I've seen in a long time and I can't help but smile back as I allow myself to be moved, my free arm coming up to wrap around Franks shoulder, my hand gently cupping the back of his neck. Frank and I continue to move together, my head coming in to rest against his shoulder as we slow dance in the middle of the street until the music stops and when I pull away Frank leans in and pecks my lips before letting me go and he digs in his pocket for his wallet, dropping some notes into the buskers guitar case and they all smile at us appreciatively, the girl playing the violin looking slightly in awe and Frank takes my hand again and leads me away, both of us continuing our walk to Franks apartment.

When we get back to Franks apartment he asks me if I would like anything and I shake my head, unsure of what's going to happen now and if I should give in to what I've been feeling since the restaurant or if I should say goodnight and go home. Frank leads me into the living room, telling me he'll be right back and as I take a seat on the couch I hear the bathroom door close and I clench my eyes shut, knowing that I need to make my decision right now and a second later I reopen them, pushing myself to stand again and as I make my way down the hallway to Franks room I start to shed my clothes, kicking my shoes off in the doorway to the living room and by the time I make it to the bedroom door I'm left in only my boxers, the rest of my clothes scattered down the hallway and I smirk to myself as I cross the room and lay on the bed, knowing that when Frank comes back out of the bathroom the first thing he'll see are my clothes. Just as I settle in the middle of the mattress I hear the bathroom door open again and footsteps sound before they stop for a second and then I hear them get closer and closer until Frank is standing in the doorway and when he sees my mostly naked body his eyes widen but he remains where he is, just staring at me before I break the silence. "Come here babe" I ask, my hand reaching out towards him and I can see hesitation on his face before Frank shakes his head and says "Gee, I don't think this is a good idea."


	59. Chapter Fifty Nine - FRANKS POV

FRANKS POV

As Gerard and I climb the stairs to the apartment I can't help but sneak glances at him every few seconds, his face not hostile for a change and after dinner and our walk home I feel like things are finally starting to take a step in the right direction. After I let us in I leave Gerard in the living room while I quickly use the bathroom and when I'm done I stop and stare into the mirror, taking a moment to calm myself down as I feel myself suddenly get nervous about Gerard being here. I finally manage to pull it together a few minutes later and I take a quick sip of mouthwash, rinsing my mouth out with it before leaving the bathroom but as I open the door I see Gerards shirt laying on the floor at my feet. I pause in confusion for a second before stepping out into the hallway and as I glance towards the living room door I see his shoes and jacket and when I turn to look down the other way towards the bedroom I see his socks and jeans and belt and I realise he's probably in my room getting something more comfortable to wear but as I approach the room and step inside I realise I was wrong, Gerard laying back on my bed in just his boxers and it's the most seductive sight I've ever seen. My dick starts to twitch in interest immediately and as Gerard turns his head and reaches out for me, asking me to come to him the logical part of my brain starts to scream at me that if we do this right now we'll just slip back into old habits and nothing will get better. I glance down at my feet before looking back up at Gerard and when I see the lust in his eyes it breaks me a little, my body wanting nothing more than to go to him and fuck him senseless but logic wins out and I slowly shake my head, seeing slight hurt and confusion cross his face as I say "Gee, I don't think this is a good idea."

A few long seconds of silence pass before hurt takes over and Gerard blinks hard a few times, his eyes looking a little more watery than usual and he quickly sits up, sliding to the edge of the bed and standing and as he steps away from the bed I quickly cross the room to him and reach out to gently cup his cheeks. "Baby it's not that I don't want to, I do, trust me" I pause to push my hips forward a little so Gerard can feel my semi hard dick against his hip and I see his lips twitch a little before I continue. "I know we slept together the other day and it was honestly the best sex I've ever had in my whole life but I feel like if we do this now, as much as its killing me to say no, it's not going to be the right thing for us. I think if we do this nothing will change and we'll just slip back into how it was and I don't want that for you, I want to be what you deserve for a change." Gerard breathes in slowly, his eyes searching my face as he slowly exhales again before he says "Frank, I love you and I don't want you to leave again tomorrow." "Baby I know but I can't just cancel my tour" I tell him and his face falls, his bottom lip catching between his teeth as his head drops down and I slide one hand under his chin and guide it back up, his eyes meeting mine and I see the sadness in them. "Gee please don't be sad, you know if I had any choice at all I would stay here with you, it wouldn't even be a choice, I just got you back and I don't want to let you go ever again but I have to go and I promise you I will be right back here with you every chance I get." Gerard nods slowly, his mouth pulling into a small smile but it doesn't reach his eyes, his forehead still creased a little and I frown to myself as I slide my arms around him and pull him into my chest, his head nuzzling against my shoulder as he melts into me and I slowly slide one hand up to stroke the back of his hair. "I love you so much" I whisper in his ear and Gerard hums softly as he shuffles a little closer, his body pressed tight against mine as we stand there and hold each other.

Gerard ends up spending the night with me, soft kisses being shared in the dark but we don't go any further than that, Gerard eventually falling asleep in my arms and I hold him close as I let myself drift off too and when I wake up the next morning he's laying against my side with his head on my chest, his finger tracing soft patterns over my bare stomach as he softly hums to himself and I lean my head down to press a kiss to the top of his head. "Morning baby" I greet him and Gerard slides back to lay his head on the pillow beside mine. "Stay?" He asks softly, his voice sad and I can tell he knows what the answer will be but is still daring to ask and I frown as I lean in and kiss his lips. "Babe" I start, my voice sounding sad too and he nods, sniffling softly before saying "I know." We spend another twenty minutes in bed just sharing soft kisses and holding each other before my phone starts ringing and I reluctantly climb out of bed and answer it, the tour manager telling me we need to be at the bus within the next hour and a half and after I hang up I turn back to see Gerard digging through my closet for some clothes, both of us dressing before I tell him I need to get going. "Can I come? To say goodbye?" He asks and I smile as I say "Of course baby, I'd love that."

An hour after my phone call Gerard and I are at the bus and after my stuff is loaded on we settle together in the back lounge, Gerard laid out with his head in my lap and I gently card my fingers through his hair as we talk. "I'm gonna miss you" Gerard says as he lets his eyes slip closed and I sigh softly before saying "I know baby, I'm gonna miss you too but as soon as I get the finalised schedule later today I'll be able to plan trips home and here" I trail off, digging into my pocket and finding my keys as Gerard sits up again and once I've found the key I want I take it off the ring before offering it to him. "Go over any time you want, if you want" I tell him, giving him his key to the apartment back that he left behind ages ago. Gerard's smile makes me smile and as he goes to kiss me again we hear footsteps come into the back and when I look up Ian is standing there, his face hardening a little when he sees Gerard before he says "We're leaving in five."


	60. Chapter Sixty

Three weeks after Frank leaves for tour again he finally gets three days off in a row and I go to the airport to pick him up, excitement making me unable to sit still but half an hour before his flight is due to land an announcement comes over to say the plane had to make an unexpected stop as a safety precaution and will now be delayed by an additional two hours. I feel my heart sink as I reach into my pocket for my phone and when I look at the screen I see three missed calls from Frank, the noise of the airport having drowned out the sound of my phone and when I try to call him back it goes straight to voicemail. I let out a soft sigh as I get up and decide to go for a walk around the airport while I wait, checking out a few stores before stopping to get coffee and as I'm waiting in line I hear my name being called, my head turning to see two young girls standing beside me. "Hi" I greet them, feeling a little uncomfortable but they smile wide at me as one says "Is it true you and Frank are back together?" I hesitate, wondering how they would know and as I go to open my mouth the other girl says "He was talking about you at the show the other night." "Oh, uh yeah we're together" I tell them, watching as they jump a little in excitement and after I get my coffee they come back over and ask if they could get a picture with me. "Really?" I ask, looking at both of them before saying "I'm not anyone worth taking a picture with." "You are, we'd really like it but it's ok if you don't want to" one of them tells me and I smile as I agree, letting them step in either side of me and one girl holds her phone out and takes the picture. "Thank you" she tells me before trying to hug me and I awkwardly hug her back before the other girl steps over and I do the same for her before saying goodbye and walking out of the coffee shop.

After I make my way back over to the waiting area where I know Frank will come out I find a seat and make myself comfortable, sipping at my coffee as I scroll through my phone, rereading text conversations from the last three weeks and I find myself smiling so much my cheeks hurt, the feeling I used to get with Frank at the very beginning of our relationship coming back and I realise I haven't been this truly happy in a long time. I'm broken from my thoughts a little while later by an announcement coming over saying the plane is now landing and when I see the first person coming down the hallway I stand up, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I wait for Frank, his face pulled into a wide smile to match mine when he rounds the corner a few seconds later and I run to him, his pace quickening as he rushes towards me too and I jump into his arms, his bag being dropped to the floor as he catches me and we share a deep passionate kiss as I wrap my legs around his waist. "Missed you so fucking much" Frank pants out against my lips when we break apart for air and after another shorter kiss he puts me down and we leave the airport hand in hand, Frank only having a small carry on bag with him.

The next morning I wake up to the smell of bacon and coffee and when I crack my eyes open I see I'm alone in Franks bed, the sounds of him moving around the kitchen reaching my ears and I smile to myself as I reach up and rub the sleep from my eyes, moving my hand up to run through my hair. I roll out of bed and once I'm fully out from under the covers I feel a shiver run through me so I grab a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt and pull them on, making my way out to the kitchen where I find Frank cooking breakfast in the nude, both of us having slept naked last night just to feel the other pressed against us but we didn't do anything more than kiss and it was perfect. I cross the kitchen and wrap my arms around Franks waist, pressing against his back as I lean in and press a kiss to the side of his neck before saying "Morning, you want some help?" Frank turns his head to the side and presses his lips to mine before saying "No baby, I wanted to make you breakfast and it's almost done so you just go take a seat and be beautiful and I'll be right there." I feel my cheeks flush as I cross the room to sit at the table, cups already there for coffee and a minute later Frank comes over with two plates of food, leaving again for the coffee pot and once it's all on the table he leans down to kiss the top of my head before leaving the room, coming back dressed the same as me and after he's joined me at the table we start to eat, the food tasting perfect and by the end of the meal our feet are tangled together under the table as we playfully rub them together.

"So baby I made us a therapy appointment for this morning" Frank tells me after we've eaten and I stare at him surprised, knowing we said we would go again but not having discussed it since then and I wasn't sure if we still would. "You still want to right?" He asks, taking in the look on my face and I nod before saying "Yeah I just wasn't sure if...." "I think it's important for us to keep going" Frank tells me and I find myself smiling again as I nod in agreement, happy with how committed he seems to be to this. After we clear the table we head into the bedroom and get dressed, a bag of my clothes here now and when we're ready Frank takes my hand and we leave the apartment, getting in a cab and heading downtown to the therapists office. The session passes in what seems like no time at all, Frank and I discussing how we met and the start of our relationship and the first time we ran into trouble with Frank cheating and when we leave the office things feel a little awkward between us. "You know I'm sorry about all that and wish I could take it back right?" Frank asks me as we step out onto the street and I nod, reaching down to slip my hand into his and he smiles before leaning in to peck my cheek. "I love you" he tells me and I smile and say it back as we start walking down the street, planning on going to get coffee before we go back to the apartment.

The next two days pass way too quickly for my liking, Frank and I spending the whole time at his apartment, ordering in takeout and dividing our time between watching movies and cuddling in bed. It's the night before Frank has to fly back out again and we are laying in his bed sharing heated kisses, both our shirts on the floor and as Frank shifts ontop of me his boxer covered erection grazes against mine and I gasp softly, wanting him so bad but knowing we are holding back for a good reason. "Frank" I pant out, his lips pulling back from where they were planting soft kisses down my neck and when he's looking down into my eyes again he says "I don't know how many times I can resist anymore, you're making me so fucking hard all the time and my balls are starting to ache." I let out a small giggle and when Frank starts to chuckle too I lose it, laughing even more and Frank rolls off me to collapse onto the mattress beside me and I roll to face him as I keep laughing. "It can't just be me" he says after he regains control of himself and I giggle again before saying "It's not, but I think you were right and in the past we've used sex to cover over problems we should have been dealing with. I don't want sex to be the only positive anymore, I want it to be a really great bonus ontop of a happy relationship." "I agree with it being a great bonus because holy shit babe, I know you haven't fucked you or anything but trust me, it's the greatest experience in the world...." Frank trails off as I start to laugh again, my cheeks turning bright red as I hide my face in my hands and after a few seconds his hands come up to grab my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. "But I more agree with the relationship thing and the reasons why we're waiting, so I'm just gonna go jerk off in the shower before my balls explode and I will be right back" he continues and as he shifts away to climb off the bed I reach out and wrap my hand around his wrist. "Or, you could stay here" I offer, my other hand sliding down to palm over my own throbbing dick and Frank nods, sliding back up the bed to settle beside me again and as he gets comfortable I slide up to settle back against the headboard as I tug my boxers down, freeing my erection and I groan at the feeling, the flesh pulsing and throbbing as I reach down to wrap my fist around it. It doesn't take long for Frank to get into it too and we lay side by side jerking off, our eyes taking in each other's bodies and just as I feel myself getting close to cumming he slides over and seals his mouth over mine, our tongues tangling together as I feel myself let go, stream after stream of cum shooting from me as I groan into Franks mouth, him swallowing down every little noise I make before he starts to groan too, his body shaking next to mine and when we're finally both spent we pull apart and slump into the mattress, our panting loud and rough in the otherwise silent room. "Every time I come back you make it harder and harder to leave again" Frank tells me after we clean up and climb back into bed still naked, his body pressing up against my back as he spoons me and I wriggle back against him to get comfortable as I say "Well you know there's a solution to that." "Yeah but there's a plus to it too, whenever I come back I appreciate it so much more and it kinda makes missing you all worth it" he tells me as his hand slides down to rest over my lower stomach and I smile wide as I let my eyes slip closed, feeling exhausted in every part of my body and Franks warm solid weight against my back helps relax me so much I'm asleep within seconds.


	61. Chapter Sixty One

A month later Frank has been home another two times, each time having organised therapy sessions and the last time, two days ago, he could only come back for just over twenty four hours, telling me it was worth it just to see me. In the last month I have applied for countless jobs, getting a few interviews but nothing coming from it and I have almost used all my savings, Frank having started to deposit money into my bank account and it's way more than I need so it takes the pressure off the lack of job. I'm laying around on the couch watching tv while Pete and Mikey move around the apartment packing up bags to go away for the weekend and when they're done Mikey comes in and asks if I'm sure I'll be fine alone for the weekend. "Yes, get out of here, I'm sick of looking at you" I tell him, my voice playful so he knows I'm joking and he smiles before sitting on the edge of the couch and leaning down to hug me, pulling away a few seconds later and after he and Pete leave Frank calls me, telling me how bored he is on the bus heading for Chicago for their show tomorrow. "Aww babe that's terrible" I tell him when he stops whining and he laughs before changing the subject, telling me how much he wishes he could see me and how he hopes the next week and a half flies by so he can come back and spend a few days at home with me again. After we hang up I try to focus on the tv again but my mind is too busy making plans and before I know it I'm up off the couch, hurrying into the bedroom and starting up my laptop, checking flights to Chicago and I see there's one leaving in two hours, my fingers flying over the keyboard as I enter my details and pay for a ticket before I quickly close the laptop and grab a bag, running around the room and shoving clothes into it before I grab my stuff and race out of the apartment, getting a cab to the airport and smiling wide to myself the whole ride there, thinking about how only an hour ago Frank and I were on the phone and he has no idea about my last minute plan.

When I finally land in Chicago four hours later I make my way outside and grab a cab, telling the driver the hotel I know the guys are staying in and when I go inside I give the receptionist the fake name Frank uses, her face pulling into a strange look as she puts the details into the computer. "And you are sir?" She asks, glancing back up at me and just as I go to open my mouth to tell her I hear my name being called hesitantly from behind me and when I turn I see Ian standing across the lobby from me. "What are you doing here?" Ian asks, his voice going hard again and I step away from the reception desk towards him as I say "I wanted to surprise Frank and...." "Well he's not here right now" Ian spits at me and I feel my heart drop as I glance down at my feet before looking back up and saying "I can wait for him then," walking over towards the couch on the other side of the lobby as I feel my stomach clench painfully at how much Ian hates me and as I step past him he turns and heads towards the elevators, muttering "Whatever" to himself. Ten minutes later I am still sitting in the lobby, my bag laying at my feet when the couch shifts beside me and I glance up to see Ian sitting beside me. "So you're gonna come back and cause more tour drama?" He spits at me, not giving me a chance to respond before he continues with "Haven't you caused enough problems?" My mouth drops open, my stomach clenching even tighter as I feel my eyes prick with tears and I take a shaky breath before saying "I never meant to cause any problems and...." My voice going wobbly with every word and I feel the first tear roll down my cheek as my control breaks, Ian's face softening a little. "I know I fucked things up, a lot, but I didn't.....it wasn't my intention to...." I stutter out, more tears rolling down my cheeks at the knowledge that my best friend for so long hates me so much. "Fuck I know Gee, but you broke my heart and...." Ian starts, our eyes locking and I see the sadness in them that he's trying to cover with the anger. "I know, and it kills me" I cut him off to say, sniffling before saying "I've missed you so much, you're my best friend....were my best friend and it's been so hard without you." "Gee, I don't know if I can be your friend anymore, I just don't see how it would work" Ian tells me and I feel my heart crack, the small piece of me that hoped things could be okay dying.

Ian and I remain silent as we sit side by side, my tears stopping and when I glance over at him again I see his mask of anger is gone and the hurt he's been hiding is more than obvious. "I'm sorry" I tell him softly and Ian nods before telling me he needs to go, having stuff to do and a few minutes after he leaves I hear a familiar voice and my head snaps up towards the entrance where I see Frank and his manager coming into the lobby, carrying on their conversation until halfway across to the elevator Frank pauses and his eyes widen when he sees me. "Babe" he calls out as he rushes over towards me and I stand, stepping forward into his arms and burying my face in his neck but Frank pulls back a second later to look at me. "What happened? What's wrong?" He asks, my eyes still red and puffy and I try to force a smile as I shake my head and say "Nothing, I'm ok." "No baby, what happened?" Frank says as he frowns further and I bite my bottom lip before saying "I had a talk with Ian." "Oh babe" Frank sighs before letting me go and taking my hand, waiting while I lean down to grab my bag before he leads me across to the elevator, telling me "Come up to my room and we can talk about it."

Three hours later Frank and I are laying on his hotel bed, my head resting on his chest as he holds me close, his shirt still slightly damp under my cheek from my tears. "I hate to see you so upset" Frank whispers as his hand strokes up and down my back and as I open my mouth to respond I'm cut off by a knock on the door and Franks manager calls out "Half an hour call for the venue" and as we hear his footsteps move down the hallway we sit up, Franks hand reaching out to cup my cheek and he leans in and presses his lips to mine before we climb off the bed and start getting ready to leave. The show passes quickly, the guys sounding amazing and trying out two new songs I haven't heard yet and in all the excitement of the show and the bustle backstage I push Ian to the back of my mind and find myself having a good time. Half an hour after the guys come off stage they head outside to sign autographs and a few minutes after they leave the door opens again and Ian comes back in, walking straight over to me. "Ian, I....." I start but I'm cut off by Ian reaching out and grabbing two fistfuls of my shirt, pulling me up off the couch and I clench my eyes shut, bracing myself to get hit but I'm shocked when I feel warm wet lips collide with my own.


	62. Chapter Sixty Two

I freeze, completely shocked for a few seconds before I regain the ability to move and I brace my hands against Ian's chest, gently pushing but he refuses to go, letting go of my shirt to slide his arms around my waist and pull me tight against him, his fingers digging into the small of my back as he gently sucks on my bottom lip, catching it between his teeth and when I part my lips to gasp at the sensation he forces his tongue between them, sliding it into my mouth and I pull my head back as much as I can, turning it to the side and breaking the kiss. "Ian stop" I pant out, pushing against his chest again and he leans in and starts mouthing at the side of my neck. "You want me back in your life right?" He pants against my skin and I whine before nodding and he pulls back, one hand coming up to roughly grip my chin and force my head to turn back to face him, his face so close to mine I can feel his breath wash over my lips. "Then it's you and me, together for real, or nothing at all" he tells me and I feel my eyes well with tears as I stare into his eyes and Ian leans in and presses one last peck to my lips before saying "You have until tomorrow to decide," his hands leaving me and he crosses the room and leaves, the door slamming shut behind him. I feel my knees wobble before I collapse back down onto the couch, my chest going tight as what just happened dawns on me and just as I lean forward, my head dropping into my hands the door opens again and I head footsteps approach as Frank says "Baby, are you ok?"

I take a deep breath before bringing my hands in to rub over my face, wiping up the stray tears on my cheeks before I look up and Frank sighs before coming to kneel at my feet. "Ian being a dick again?" He asks, his warm hands resting on my knees. "Yeah" I mumble out, figuring it's for the best if Frank thinks Ian was just saying stuff to me. "Don't let him get to you babe, if he's gonna act like this then fuck him" Frank continues and I nod, sliding one hand down to rest over his and Frank flips his hand over and curls his fingers up through mine. "I'm so happy you're here, this has been the best surprise ever" Frank tells me, his mouth pulling into a huge smile as he tries to lighten the mood and I can't help but smile back as I say "I missed you so much." "I missed you too babe, how long are you staying for?" "Uh I don't really.....I didn't book a ticket home so...." I trail off, just now realising I should have planned this visit more carefully. "Well if you don't have any other plans, it would be cool if you wanna hang out and we can go back to New York together, I mean if you wanted to spend that much time, if not we can get you a ticket home" Frank says, his eyes locking with mine and I can tell he's fully leaving the decision up to me. "Maybe we'll just see how it goes?" I offer, Franks smile falling just a little as he nods before he pushes himself to stand and once I'm on my feet too we leave the room hand in hand, making our way outside where there is still a small crowd and a few kids scream my name as Frank and I make our way to the waiting van, heading back to the hotel with the rest of the guys.

After we get back to the hotel Frank takes a shower and when he's done I go into the bathroom to take my own, smiling when I see the I Love You written inside a heart drawn in the fog on the mirror and when I'm done I make my way back into the room, towelling my wet hair but I pause in my step as I see the room is empty, Frank gone and I feel my heart sink a little as I continue my way over to my bag, dropping the towel on the floor and grabbing a shirt. I settle back on the bed, turning the tv on and ten minutes later the door opens and Frank steps back in, a sheepish smile on his face as he says "Sorry babe, the guys wanted to talk about tomorrow and I didn't think it would take that long." "It's ok" I tell him, turning my attention back to the tv and Frank frowns as he come over, kicking his shoes off before climbing onto the bed and settling beside me, his hand reaching out to gently cup my cheek and turn my head towards him. "Are you upset?" He asks, his forehead still creased and I shake my head as I say "No, it's fine." "You hungry? We could order in food" Frank offers and I smile as I nod, my stomach choosing that moment to rumble loudly and Frank chuckles to himself as he climbs off the bed, crossing to where the room phone is, pausing to ask if I want anything in particular but I just tell him to surprise me, turning my attention back to the tv as he makes the call and when he's done he joins me back on the bed, sliding up next to me and pulling me into his chest as we lay together watching tv.

Twenty minutes later the food arrives and Frank gets up to let the guy in, taking the tray and bringing it back over to the bed and we sit together and eat, sharing everything and by the time we're done Frank is staring at me with an all too familiar look in his eyes, a shiver running through me as I smirk to myself, making a show out of darting my tongue out to lick my lips and when I look over at him out of the corner of my eye again he's biting on his bottom lip, his pupils blown and I decide to just go for it, turning my head and smashing my lips to his, my tongue immediately forcing its way into his mouth and Frank opens up for me, his hands grabbing at me and I kneel up and shift around to straddle his lap, grinding down a little as I settle and pulling a groan from him. We kiss heatedly for a few minutes, our hands wandering each other's upper bodies and as I slide my hands down again, gripping the bottom of Franks shirt he pulls back and breaks the kiss, panting harshly a few times before saying "Babe, I think...." "I think you should fuck me" I tell him, our eyes locking and Frank growls softly before surging in and sealing his lips to mine again, tipping us to the side and slamming my back into the mattress as he scrambles over me and starts tugging at my shirt.


	63. Chapter Sixty Three

Frank and I continue to make out heatedly for a few minutes, my shirt being dropped on the floor followed by his and just as my hands wander down his stomach, my fingers fumbling with the button on his jeans Frank suddenly pulls back and pants out "Fuck" under his breath. I stare up at him confused and he pants again before saying "I don't have any lube with me." "We can make do" I tell him, panting harshly as I finally get his jeans open, making quick work of the zipper and once I have them open I push Frank over onto his back, my hands tugging at his pants as I shift onto my knees over him and once I have them off I throw them aside and sink my mouth down over his rock hard dick, his taste invading my mouth and making my own dick throb in my pants. I continue to bob up and down on his length for a few minutes, building up a steady rhythm while my hand gently fondles his balls and Frank groans deep above me before panting out "Fuck, your mouth, ooh babe can't believe how fucking good you are," his hands coming down to tangle in my hair, making me groan around him as his nails gently scratch against my scalp, sending shivers of pleasure down my spine. A few seconds later as I pull back for a proper breath Frank sits up, his hands quickly grabbing my hips and flipping me over onto my back before gripping my pants and tugging them down, my hips lifting up to help him get them off and once I'm naked Frank shuffles around until hes straddling my shoulders, his dick just hovering above my lips as he sinks his mouth down onto my dick, sliding all the way down until I'm almost in the back of his throat, only a few centimetres at my base not enveloped in his warm wet mouth and it's the furthest he's ever taken me before, his throat tightening around me as he gags a little but he doesn't pull back, continuing to slide down just a little further until his nose is pressed into my balls, the sparks of pleasure shooting up my spine from the sensation so great I feel my toes curl and I clench my hands in the sheets to keep from cumming immediately. A few long seconds later Frank starts to slowly slide his way back up my length as he pulls back and I feel the streams of saliva running down my balls and I groan again before tilting my head up and taking his dick in my mouth again, bringing one hand out of the sheets to reach up and grab a handful of his ass, using my grip to pull his hips down, forcing his dick further into my mouth wanting to return the favour and I take him as deep into my throat as I can handle, trying my best to relax my throat and Frank groans around my dick, the vibrations causing my toes to curl again and we both get lost in trying to bring the other undone, trying to outdo each other as we lick and suck and moan around each others lengths, both of us bucking our hips and fucking into each others mouths until Frank eventually loses control and his whole body starts to shake above me as he starts to cum, flooding my mouth with it and after the first few spurts he pulls his hips back, one of his hands quickly coming down to grip himself and he finishes cumming all over my face while I lay back and take it, loving every second of it as he keeps moaning around and sucking on my dick. After his final spurt Frank lets go of his length, his fingers coming down to rub against my chin, collecting some of his cum before he brings his hand down and shoves those two fingers into my hole, using his cum as lube and I moan loudly before leaning up and taking his still mostly hard dick back into my mouth, gently sucking and licking at it, cleaning up all the cum left behind as Frank continues to fuck my ass with his fingers, my hips still bucking up and fucking into his mouth until he whines and pulls back to tell me he's too sensitive and I pull back, Frank pulling his fingers from me before moving off me completely and I whine a little in disapproval at the loss of contact as he shifts around to kneel between my legs and he chuckles softly to himself before saying "You're so needy baby, such a slut for me," his mouth and fingers returning to me and it only takes another few minutes until I'm bucking my hips frantically as I cum, the waves of pleasure shooting through my body as Frank continues to finger and suck me through it making it impossible to stay still.

I lay on the bed panting for breath for what feels like hours, my body shaking and tingling all over in the aftermath of what may have been the best orgasm of my life and Frank lays beside me, holding me against his chest as he presses soft kisses all over my face while one of his hands gently strokes through and plays with my hair. I whine softly, my body still feeling over sensitive as another shiver runs through me and Frank tightens his hold on me as he makes a soft soothing noise in my ear and I slide even closer to him, our bodies pressed together as he starts pressing soft kisses into my hair, whispering sweet nothings in the otherwise silent room and when I finally manage to come down he pulls back enough to stare into my eyes before saying "Baby I know you wanted to have sex just then and while I want that too I'm glad we didn't because I don't think we're ready for that to fully happen again yet. I love you so much Gerard, you mean more to me than anything ever has in my whole life, I would die for you and when I said I want to be the man you deserve I truly meant it and I know that even though we might be in a better place right now I'm still not what you deserve yet. I want to be a better person for you, I want us to work to a point where we can be together again fully, where I can have you come home and be there with me for good and where I won't ever hurt you again, physically or emotionally. I think back to what happened in Paris and it fucking kills me babe, I can't believe I could ever hurt you the way I did and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I've done. You're so amazing baby and after everything I've ever done you're still here loving me and I know I don't deserve that so I just want to say thank you for loving me like you do and for sticking by me through everything." I take a deep breath, Franks words running through my mind and I can't seem to form a coherent thought so I lean up and seal my lips to his, my tongue sliding it's way into his mouth and he immediately kisses back, the kiss soft and slow and sweet and when we finally break apart I lay back and stare up into his eyes as I say "Frankie, I love you but this touring thing is so hard, I need you home with me so we can work on things." Franks face pulls into a frown as he says "I know but baby there's nothing I can..." "I need you home with me Frank, nothing is going to get better unless you're there with me every day making an effort and working with me" I tell him, finally voicing what I want and Frank sighs before pulling back and climbing off the bed.

Frank paces back and forth across the room a few times, his hands running through his hair and I sit up and pull the blanket across my lap right before he turns back to me and says "Gee you know I can't....." "You can" I tell him, taking a deep breath before saying "No one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to be on this tour. I need you home with me, I need a husband who's there every day. I love you Frank and after everything you've put me through I still want you but I want you home, I need you in my life consistently, not just when your schedule allows time for me. I want to be your number one priority and......" "You are babe but you're being a little selfish right now" Frank tells me, swallowing hard when he sees the look of anger cross my face and I climb off the bed, wrapping the sheet around my waist and as I make my way to the bathroom, grabbing my bag as I cross the room I turn and say "Maybe, but that's what I need and if you're not willing then maybe this isn't going to work out after all," Franks mouth dropping open as I walk into the bathroom and close the door, locking it behind me before crossing the room and starting the shower.


	64. Chapter Sixty Four

I take my time in the shower, washing myself off before I slump back against the wall and let what just happened run through my mind. I never meant to actually voice any of that but now that it's out I feel a slight sense of relief amongst the fear and upset that I feel. I love Frank so much but I think it's time that I continue to do what's best for me and I do need a husband who is with me, especially right now. I eventually manage to pull myself out of the shower and when I have dried and redressed I go back into the room but Franks not there again, his phone and wallet missing from the table and I cross the room to my bag, pulling out my own phone along with my pack of cigarettes and lighter and I make my way out onto the balcony, pulling the door closed behind me and sitting down as I light up a cigarette and once I've taken a few puffs I scroll through my contacts in my phone until I find Mikeys number and I dial, bringing the phone to my ear and it rings a few times before Mikeys voice tells me to leave a message. I sigh to myself as I hang up and I sit the phone on the table beside me before standing and crossing to the edge of the balcony, leaning against the railing and continuing to smoke my cigarette as I stare out at the bright city lights until a buzzing from behind me sounds out and I turn to see Mikeys name flashing on the screen and I walk back over and pick it up, answering the call."Hey Gee whats up?" Mikey asks when I answer and I breathe in deeply before launching into everything that happened between Frank and I just now and Mikey patiently waits until I'm done before saying "Good for you Gee, it's about time you do whats best for you and you're right, things will never really get better if he's not there with you rebuilding your life together. Spending a day or two together here and there isn't going to cut it when he's just on his best behaviour because it's not everyday and I think deep down he knows that." "He told me I was being selfish" I tell Mikey and he pauses for a second before saying "Do you think you were?" "Yeah, a little but I'm tired of being the one making all the sacrifices" I tell him and Mikey hums and says "Do whats best for you Gee, don't let Frank make you feel bad for it." "Thanks Mikes" I say and Mikey hums again before saying "Anytime Gee, are you alright?" "Yeah I'm ok, go enjoy your weekend, tell Pete I said hey" "Will do, call if you need anything else" Mikey tells me and we hang up, the balcony door opening just as I sit my phone back on the table and Frank steps outside with me, his face unreadable.

"Frank I...." I start but Frank cuts me off by saying "Gerard I love you but I can't give up my career and drop my tour." "I thought I was the most important thing in your life?" I shoot back, seeing a flicker of anger and frustration cross Franks face before it goes neutral again and he says "Gerard you're being really selfish and immature about this. I need you to think like a grown up for a moment and realise what it is you're asking for. You're asking me to give up my band and my career, the thing that's paying our bills and has been for a long time now, the thing that has been my dream since before I met you, the thing that I have worked my ass off for so I can sit home with you and play house." "I never asked you to give up shit Frank, I asked you to make me a god damn priority for a change and to put in some actual effort and give me what I need. I need a husband who wants to be there and actually is but you don't even want to. I never asked you to give up the band but you could have taken time off until we've worked on this a bit but you wouldn't even consider that, you just want to run me down and tell me I'm selfish for needing you." "I can't take time off on a tour Gerard, that's not how it works" Frank spits back and I reach out and grab my phone, the argument going nowhere and I decide I can't stay anymore, pushing past Frank on my way back inside and I cross the room to my bag, slipping my shoes back on and picking it up as Frank comes back inside and when he sees me with my bag he says "What are you doing?" "I'm going home Frank, this trip was clearly a bad idea" I tell him and I see Franks face harden, his hands shaking a little before he spits out "Fine, just fucking go then." I turn my back to him and cross to the door and just as I'm about to open it I pause and open the side pocket on my bag and grab my keys, finding the one Frank gave me for his apartment and I turn and throw it at him, reaching out for the door handle and I make it a few steps down the hallway before I hear Frank call out "Wait" in a shaky voice but I keep walking, tears streaming down my face by the time I make it outside to hail a cab, hurt and humiliation washing through me as I take the ride to the airport.

A week goes by and Frank tries calling me a couple of times but I don't answer, not prepared to fight anymore and I can't even bring myself to listen to the voicemails he's left.Ian also tries calling me a few times, resorting to sending me text messages ranging from sweet talk to abuse about chickening out and running out on my visit and I gather that Frank didn't tell anyone what happened. I continue with my job hunt but still have no luck and I am starting to run out of hope when Pete tells me the company he works for is looking for more workers and that he will put in a good word for me. I'm laying in bed watching movies on my laptop one rainy afternoon when I hear a knock at my door and I call out that they can come in, turning my head expecting either Pete or Mikey but I'm surprised to see Bert. "Hey" I greet him and he smiles wide before crossing to join me on the bed, pulling me into a hug as he says "Hey babe." "What are you doing here?" I ask and when he pulls back he says "Mikey called, said you could use a friend." "Oh" I say softly, feeling my eyes well with tears and Bert sighs before pulling me back into his arms and softly saying "Shh, don't cry babe" and my self control breaks as I start to sob, Berts arms tightening around me as he guides me to lay down and he holds me tight against his chest as he lets me cry it out into his shirt, one of his hands rubbing up and down my back soothingly and when I have calmed down enough he asks me if I want to talk about it and I sniffle a few times before blurting out the whole story, including the reconciliation between Frank and I and our therapy arrangement and by the time I finish telling him about my trip and the huge fight I can feel his body has tensed considerably and he says "Babe he really doesn't deserve you."


	65. Chapter Sixty Five

Bert ends up spending the rest of the afternoon with me and as it starts getting later we settle back in my bed and start another movie, both of us falling asleep, my hand clutched in his. I wake up the next morning with Bert still sleeping beside me, Mikey standing on my other side beside the bed shaking me awake with a stressed look on his face. "What?' I groan, still feeling half asleep but when he opens his mouth and says "Franks here, in the living room" I jolt upright, yanking my hand out of the hold Bert still has on it and Mikey raises his eyebrows but doesn't say anything and I shake my head and say "Nothing happened, not even a kiss" and he nods, turning back towards the door and saying "I'll stall him for a few minutes while you get yourself together" and after he leaves the room I turn back and shake Bert awake, a soft groan escaping him before his eyes flutter open and he smiles up at me, sitting up and leaning in to kiss my cheek but I pull back and say "Frank is in the living room." "Oh shit" Bert says, knowing how this will look and we decide that he will sneak out and hide in the bathroom and when I bring Frank into my room then he will leave. We both climb out of bed and redress properly and when we're ready Bert pulls me into a hug and tells me that if I need anything to call him and I nod in agreement, hugging him before going to the door and easing it open, peering out and seeing that the hallway is empty and I can hear voices coming from the living room down the other end and Bert and I leave the bedroom, Bert slipping into the bathroom and closing the door as I go down to the living room and when I step in I see Mikey and Frank sitting on the couch drinking coffee and talking. I stand there for a few long seconds, taking in Franks appearance and I see he's dirty in dirty clothes meaning he came straight here from the plane and when he turns his head and spots me he stands and tells Mikey it was good to see him. "We need to talk" Frank says softly as he approaches me and I nod, leading him to my room and closing the door a little harder than usual so Bert will be able to hear it before I cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed, Frank joining me.

"What the fuck is going on Gerard?" Frank asks and I flinch slightly at his tone, this clearly heading towards a fight and I swallow hard before saying "I shouldn't have to be ashamed for needing my husband." "You're acting like a child" he tells me and I stand, crossing the room and walking away from him and I keep my back turned to him, my gaze focused out the window as I say "Is that all you came back here for? To put me down some more? You should have saved yourself the trip." Frank doesn't say anything for a few seconds and I'm about to turn and look at him when he steps up behind me and grabs my arm, spinning me around and forcing me to face him. "Fucking stop it" he spits at me and I snap, reaching one hand up to slap him across the face. "You fucking stop, one minute you want to work on this then the next I'm too needy and childish and what I need from you doesn't matter because it doesn't suit your schedule. I'm tired of being the only one giving in this relationship and the only one taking all the blame. You're either in this with me and are willing to do what it takes and make sacrifices or this isn't going to work out. I'm tired of being made cry" I snap and Frank stares at me wide eyed before he grabs my shoulders and starts to shake me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He snaps at me. "You're acting fucking crazy, you can't seriously expect me to quit my tour, ruin my band to come back here and do nothing. That's not how the world works and the sane Gerard knows that." I brace my hands against his chest and shove him off me, his hands leaving my arms and I turn and cross the room to the door, opening it and saying "Get out." "What?" Frank asks, looking confused and I gesture to the open doorway as I repeat " Get out, I don't want you here Frank, go back on your stupid fucking tour and have a great fucking time." "Gerard" he starts but I feel myself snap, turning my head to look at him again and I scream "Get out" at the top of my lungs and both Mikey and Pete come out into the hallway to see what's going on and Frank finally gets it, brushing past me as he makes his way out and down the hallway to the front door, slamming it behind himself as he goes and everything remains silent for a few long seconds before I break, the emotion I was holding in before breaking free and I crumple to my knees as I howl out a sob, tears streaming down my face and both Mikey and Pete come rushing down the hallway and drop to their knees, their arms wrapping around me and I bury my face in Mikeys neck as I continue to cry, just wanting the Frank I fell in love with back.


	66. Chapter Sixty Six

When I finally manage to pull myself together again Mikey and Pete help me up onto my bed and they both kneel beside it as I lay back and Mikey reaches out and squeezes my hand before saying "Gee whatevers going on, that's not a healthy relationship and I'm worried about you." "I love him so much Mikes, even after everything but it's killing me. I need him around, I need..." I trail off, sobs overtaking me again and a few minutes later I ask to be left alone, Mikey and Pete leaving the room and I curl into a ball around the spare pillow on my bed and let myself cry, feeling completely defeated and broken. I finally manage to cry myself out and just as I feel myself start drifting off to sleep again my bedroom door opens and before I can even turn my head to see who it is they slide onto the bed with me and I am enveloped by a sweet scent, like strawberries and vanilla and warm arms wrap around my waist as a warm chest presses to my back and I look down to see heavily tattooed hands and arms holding me. "Frankie" I whimper out as I start to cry again and I flip myself over and bury my face in his neck. "Shhh baby, I'm here, I've got you" Frank whispers before leaning down and pressing kisses to the top of my head and I whimper again before going quiet, clenching my hands in the front of his shirt. We remain silent after that, Franks hands gently rubbing up and down my back as I snuggle further into his chest for warmth and my eyes slip closed, his comforting hold helping me drift off.

I wake up a few hours later with Frank still sleeping beside me, his face slack and he looks so peaceful and beautiful that I can't help myself as I lean over and press my lips to his, his warm breath washing over my lips as I lean in and just as I go to pull away Franks lips start moving with mine and I press back into the kiss, our lips slowly working against each other until Franks hand comes up to tangle in the back of my hair and his hand pushes my head down a little more, increasing the pressure and holding me there as his tongue slides it's way into my mouth and I groan softly as my eyes slip closed and I start to really kiss back, Franks tongue dominating mine and I surrender to him, letting him lead the kiss and just as he goes to pull back for air his hands slide down to grip my hips, quickly flipping us over and as soon as my back makes contact with the mattress his lips are there again, his tongue invading my mouth as he slides his body ontop of mine and I give in completely, my hands sliding up to tangle in his hair and a few seconds later he starts to slide his lips down my neck. sucking and biting and licking and I moan softly as I tilt my head to the side and give him better access and he starts sucking on one spot that makes my whole body shake underneath him, his leg shifting between mine to grind his thigh into my hardening dick and I buck up into it a little, neither of us speaking a word as lust takes over and in what feels like no time at all Frank has us both naked and is kneeling between my parted legs, his slicked up dick forcing its way inside me and when he's in all the way he locks eyes with me and he stares for a second before saying "I want you baby, I love you with everything I have and I want to be around all the time, I want to spend every day with you and it kills me that we can't. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anything , more than music even and if I could I would be here with you but I can't, not for right now but once this tour is over in a few months I will be there, I will take the time off until we have it right. I need you to understand that it's not that I don't want to be here, I really really do baby but I need to finish touring first and I need you to be ok with that. I can't stand it when we fight, I fucking hate it so much but what I hate more is to see you sad and crying so please, can we come to a compromise for now because I can't stand to see you like this." I take a deep shaky breath, thinking over everything Frank just said before I say "Frankie I love you so much and I'm scared I'm losing you. Being away from you is so fucking hard and it feels like what we had is slipping away from me and I don't mean to act so crazy but I'm just so fucking scared to be without you," more tears rolling down my cheeks by the time I'm finished, my heart laid out for him to see. "Don't cry baby, please" Frank pleads as his own eyes well with tears and I gently reach and cup his cheek, my thumb stroking under one eye and he leans into my touch before saying "You're not ever going to lose me baby, I can promise you that without any hesitation. I'm yours, truly and completely and no matter where I am or who I'm with you're always on my mind. Being away and touring is hard for me too and I miss you so fucking much but we can get through this, I promise you." I continue to stare into Franks eyes for a few long seconds before he leans down and seals his lips to mine again and as I start to kiss back his hips shift and he slowly pulls out before thrusting back in and we start up a steady slow rhythm, the sensation feeling amazing and when Frank pulls away from my lips again he pants out "Missed your body so fucking much," thrusting back in again and pulling a whimpering groan from my lips.

An hour later Frank and I are laying naked in my bed still slightly panting for breath as we come down from our toe curling orgasms, our rhythm so slow and steady we fucked for longer than we ever have before and my whole body feels warm and relaxed. "Is there anything at all I can do to help you feel better baby?" Frank asks, obviously knowing he can't give me the one thing I really want. "I don't know" I tell him as I slide closer to him and he pulls me tight against his side. "I know it hasn't worked out so great in the past but how would you feel about joining the tour again? One of the techs just quit and we have a spare bunk on the bus. You could either work merch again or just hang out, it's up to you but that way we could be together and I promise you we will work on things while we're on the road." "I don't know" I say again, unsure about how that would go or what all the other guys would say and think about that. "I'm not leaving again until tomorrow night so you can think about it a little if you want" he offers and I nod, thinking it over and after another few minutes Frank climbs off the bed and pulls his clothes back on, throwing mine at me and saying "Come on, I'll take you to dinner" and I smile up at him as I drag myself out of bed and pull my clothes on too, slipping on shoes and we leave the apartment hand in hand, Frank taking me across town to our favourite place and we spend the whole meal smiling and joking and I feel my worries start to fade away again.


	67. Chapter Sixty Seven

The next morning I wake up in Franks bed, having ended up at this apartment after dinner and as I roll onto my back and crack my eyes open I groan softly at the dull throb that shoots up my spine and the slight ache in my side and when I open my eyes fully I see the dull early morning sunlight filtering in through the blinds, the morning a little cold so I slide one hand down to grab for the blanket but I don't find it so I sit up slightly, realising that the blanket is gone and the bed is a total mess, lube and handcuffs and a butt plug laying discarded in the sheet at the end near my feet and when I turn my head I see the blankets on the floor bunched up in a mess with mine and Franks clothes and just as Franks warm hand reaches out, searching for me as he wakes last night comes flooding back to me and I find myself smiling wide and my cheeks heating a little as the rough animalistic sex we had before passing out replays in my mind and I wince a little as I lean off the side of the bed to grab the blankets, the pain in my side flaring up and as I shift back towards Franks warm, half awake naked body, blankets now in hand I glance down and see the huge bite mark over my ribs, my flesh bruised and slightly split in some places in the shape of Franks teeth and further down on my hips I see black lines the size of his fingers and I smile a little wider as I shuffle into Franks side as I lay back down, throwing the blanket over us, having missed being dominated and marked by him and as I settle Frank starts to shift around too until we're both comfortable, his arms wrapped around me while his face buries in my neck and he starts sucking and nibbling on my skin and I feel my already half hard morning wood grow, his fingers brushing along my side and pressing against the bite mark, making me whine lowly in the back of my throat as my eyes roll back in my head a little.

Frank continues to suck on my neck for a few more minutes, his hands starting to explore my body further and when he brushes his hand over my hard dick I groan softly and he wraps his fist around me, stroking a few times before pulling back from my neck and saying "Well well what do we have here?" His voice rough and scratchy and it makes me smirk, my dick brutally fucking into his mouth and throat last night the reason for his voice and I feel my dick throb a little at the memory, Franks hand tightening around me. "Want you again" I whisper back, feeling so turned on and the months and months apart and the celibacy we've been practising suddenly feeling like the stupidest thing i've ever heard, my body needing Frank more than ever now and just as Frank hums out an agreeing noise I roll to the side, his hand releasing me as I guide him onto his back, sliding ontop of him and pinning him beneath me and I capture his mouth with mine, my tongue forcing its way inside his as I grind my hips down and I feel Frank growing hard too, his hips bucking up to meet my thrusts and after a few seconds I trail my lips down to his neck, kissing and licking down until my lips are working just below his scorpion where the skin goes clear again and I bite down a little, sucking the skin and Franks whole body shakes beneath me, his hands roughly grabbing against my back as his hips thrust up even harder against mine and when I'm satisfied that the mark will bruise enough I keep kissing down until I reach his collar bones, pausing to make another hickey there too before kissing my way back up to Franks ear, taking the lobe between my teeth and scraping softly as I pull off before I lean in even closer and whisper "Now everyone is going to know you're mine but this next thing, this next claim is just for you and me baby" my body shifting and I guide Franks legs apart, coming to kneel between them and I lean back down over his body as I guide the leaking head of my dick to Franks still slightly slick and stretched hole, my fingers having fucked him open last night and as I seal my lips to his again I thrust forward and sink inside him in one swift push, Franks back arching off the bed, his body pressing up against mine as he screams into my mouth, his fingers scrambling and scratching against my back again. "Fuck, oh fuck Gee" Frank gasps out when I pull away from his mouth to gasp in a breath and my hips pull back, snapping forward harshly as I thrust back in and Franks whole body jolts beneath mine, shifting up the bed slightly from the force and I keep going, fucking into him harshly but it's still no where near the level he fucks me at when we're really going for it like last night, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle it as much and after another few thrusts he starts to work with me, pushing down against me and we move together until we both cum, Frank cumming all over himself first and a few thrusts later I pull out and cum all over him too, our cum mixing together and running down to stain the sheets.

A few hours later Frank and I are both showered and dressed and sitting at his table eating and as I glance up from my food I find Frank staring at me from across the table, his mouth pulling into a huge smile and I feel my heart flutter, the way he's looking at me reminding me of when we first met and fell in love and the way he would look at me the same way when he thought I wasn't watching and I decide that I can't be afraid anymore and I need to give my all to the relationship again. "So" I begin, getting his attention and Franks face goes a little more serious before I continue "How long do I have to pack?" Frank remains silent for a few seconds, confusion being replaced by recognition of what I'm saying and he smiles wide again and says "Our flight leaves at seven" both of us glancing to the clock on the wall and seeing it's almost one. After we finish eating I offer to clean the dishes while Frank goes to pack a bag of clean clothes and then we will head to my place to get my bag. I finish up the dishes and Frank still hasn't come back and when I go into his room he's sitting at the desk on his laptop typing quickly and as I step up behind him I see he's on the airline website booking me a ticket on his flight and when he's done he turns to smile warmly at me, leaning up for a kiss which I happily return. Half an hour later we are at my apartment, Mikey and Pete both out at work and I wander around my room grabbing things I want to take with me and throwing them across to Frank who is kneeling near the bed infront of my open suitcase, packing things in and occasionally turning and packing some items into the small duffle bag sitting open next to it, dividing my clothes and stuff between when I will need more importantly. Once I have everything I need we take my bags down the hallway and leave them near the front door with Franks before we go back into the bedroom to kill some time, settling on the bed and Frank holds me against his chest, my body mostly ontop of his as he strokes my hair and back and sings to me, his voice low and soft and I let my eyes slip closed, feeling warm and content and completely in love.


	68. Chapter Sixty Eight

Just as it comes time for us to leave I hear the front door open and Pete and Mikeys voices chattering before they go quiet and I step out into the hallway, seeing them staring at the bags and I clear my throat, both of them looking up at me and as I take a step towards them Frank comes out into the hallway behind me, his face still pulled into the huge permanent smile he's had all day and Mikey shakes his head before saying "Gee can I talk to you?" gesturing towards the kitchen. "Uh, sure" I reply, knowing this isn't going to be good and I follow him in, walking over to approach him on the far side of the kitchen near the sink. "What the fuck is going on?" Mikey hisses lowly, clearly not wanting Frank to hear and I frown slightly before saying "I'm going with Frank for a while." "You can't be serious, after everything you've gone through you're just going to run back and join the tour because he came back and sweet talked you?" Mikey snaps and I shake my head before saying "Mikey I love him, after everything we've been through I still love him more than anything and I'm tired of being on my own and having to put up boundaries and rules and making myself miserable so yeah, I'm going back on the tour and I'm just going to be happy and see what happens." Mikey sighs before saying "Ok fine, you're entitled to make your own decisions but I'm not going to forgive Frank again if he hurts you." "I wouldn't expect you to, and I really don't plan on hurting him again" Franks voice says and both our heads snap up to see him in the doorway. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen in it's just, babe we have to be at the airport soon to check in for our flight." "Oh" Mikey mumbles out before I cross the kitchen to Frank, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me against him a little as he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my cheek before letting me go again and Mikey steps up behind me and grabs my arm, urging me to turn around and when I'm facing him he wraps his arms around me in a hug, my arms wrapping around him in return and we share a long goodbye hug, Mikey telling me to have a good time as he lets me go and after I hug Pete goodbye Frank and I head downstairs and grab a cab, going to the airport.

Once we get there and we're checked in, our bags booked in and Frank making sure we will be seated together we see we still have an hour and a half until we need to board so we wander around hand in hand, looking through some stores and Frank buys a new scarf before we head off for a coffee shop and as we wander over to our gate with our coffees we are flocked by a small group of teenagers, all of them chattering over one another clearly excited at seeing us together and I notice one girl is staring wide eyed at Frank, not saying anything before she glances over at me and then back at him again and I realise she's staring at his hickey and I smirk to myself before taking a sip of coffee and a few seconds later Frank says goodbye to the fans and starts to guide me away and as we are walking towards our gate I feel his hand slide down my back until he has one of my ass cheeks squeezed in his hand, openly groping my ass as we go and I giggle and squirm away a little and as Frank starts laughing too I glance over my shoulder and see the group we just left all staring after us with their mouths open and a few have phones in their hands pointed at us and I groan to myself as I turn my head back, my cheeks heating up and Frank asks whats wrong between giggles. "Your adoring masses totally just caught that on camera" I tell him and Franks laughs kick back up again as he turns around to see them all still staring after us and when he turns to face me again he says "Gee I can't wait to see that all over tumblr or something" and I groan softly to myself again before pushing him away playfully, Frank laughing again before stepping in and sliding his arm around my waist, guiding me over to the chairs nearby and we take a seat, Franks hand sliding into mine as we sip our coffee and wait to board the flight.

When we finally land in LA Franks tour manager is waiting to pick us up and after we collect our bags we go with him to the waiting car and travel to where the bus is, getting on and settling in, finding one of the techs moved his bunk so I can have the one above Franks and we spend the rest of the night in the front lounge with the rest of the guys, playing cards and video games and everyone treats me like normal, acting as though none of the past dramas happened until I glance up and see Ian staring at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable, him being the only one to not treat me warmly. The next morning we head off for the next city and we spend seven hours driving before we finally get there and after soundcheck Frank takes me out for an early dinner before the show, the tour manager telling us we need to be back within two hours and Frank agrees before taking my hand and we leave the venue, trying to avoid the crowd already lined up down the block and we take a back street away from the venue but a block away when we join the main streets again a few girls clearly on their way to the venue spot us and we are swarmed, all of them excited and talking over one another and I step back, standing a few steps behind Frank as I start to feel overwhelmed by it all and when he realises Frank tells the group he will meet with them after the show and he steps over and takes my hand, leading me away to the protest of the fans but we keep walking, Frank squeezing my hand before leaning in and asking if I'm alright and I smile to myself, seeming to have my old Frank back again.

The show that night goes great, the guys all playing their best and Frank is so lively on stage by the time he comes off he is spent and panting and sweaty but he still finds me in the dark of the back stage area and backs me over to the side, sealing his lips to mine and kissing me breathless, his tongue invading my mouth and moving with mine and I feel his semi hard dick through his show jeans, his crotch rubbing against my leg and I moan softly as I push it against him further, increasing the pressure for him and he whines into my mouth before pulling back and softly saying "Fucking love your lips," his lips colliding with mine again a second later and when we pull apart again for air I lean in and say "How would you like them wrapped around your cock baby?" making Frank pull back a little more and in the very limited lighting I see his pupils are blown, his mouth hanging open slightly as he continues to pant for breath and I wink at him before grabbing his hand and leading him away from the wall, heading for the bathroom just down the hall from the dressing room and when I try the door its free, Frank shoving me into the room from behind before he spins around and locks the door and when he turns back to me I drop to my knees, my hands immediately going for his belt, knowing we don't have a lot of time for this as there will be fans waiting outside and as soon as I have his dick free I slide my mouth down onto it, Franks hands tangling in my hair and pulling slightly as I start to work him, no playing around as I use all the tricks I know will bring him undone the fastest, knowing he won't mind that this is frantic and rushed. "Yeah, fucking.....your whore mouth" Frank breathes out above me as he continues to pull on my hair and I can tell he's getting close, his legs shaking a little and I bring one hand up to play with his balls before sliding up to the head and working my tongue into the one spot that will bring him undone completely and I hear the thud of Franks head slamming back against the door as his hips push forward into my face and he starts to cum, stream after stream of the salty but slightly sweet liquid escaping him and flooding my mouth and I swallow around him once before pulling back, the last little spurt splashing against my lips before Frank drops to his knees, using the grip he still has on my hair to pull me in for a biting kiss, his tongue cleaning up the cum off my lips before shoving into my mouth and we share it, the kiss dirty and heated and doing nothing but turning me on and by the time we break apart I'm not hard but I'm not exactly fully soft either and as Frank scrambles to his feet again I help him pull his pants back up, pressing a soft kiss to his now flaccid dick before tucking it away for him and as he does his belt back up I stand and Frank pulls me back in for one last kiss before taking my hand and leading me from the room, both of us going into the dressing room where only Spence is left and he leaves as we enter, telling us we better get a move on due to the huge crowd of fans between us and the bus and Frank quickly checks the room for anything left behind before grabbing his bag and when he turns back to face me he smiles wide and says "You have blowjob lips" making me giggle and my hand comes up to brush against them, feeling them swollen and slightly tingling and Frank laughs too as we leave the room, heading down the hallway to the exit and I take his bag as he heads over to the crowd that the security is keeping back, lighting up a cigarette as I stand and watch him sign for a while until the tour manager tells everyone that the bus is packed and that we need to be leaving.


	69. Chapter Sixty Nine

A few days after I join the tour Frank goes to do a radio interview and while he's out doing that the other guys leave to go out and go shopping and I am left alone with one of the techs on the bus, neither of us wanting to go and after everyone is gone I grab the book of paperwork for the merch, having decided to take over as the guy in charge now doesn't enjoy it very much and as I flip through the pages I see how much he's fucked them all up and I sigh to myself before getting up to look for a pen and as I'm rummaging through a bag in Franks bunk, figuring he'll have atleast a few pens I hear the bus door open and when I find a pen and turn to go back into the front lounge I see Ian standing in the doorway staring at me. "Hi" I say hesitantly, not having had to talk to him yet in the last few days and he smirks and says "So, you're back and I haven't forgotten about our little conversation last time. So what will it be Gee? You and me? Or me becoming your worst nightmare?" "Why are you doing this to me? We were best friends, don't you miss that?" I ask, trying to avoid the question he asked and his face goes serious as he says "Yeah I do miss things, I miss your lips against mine, I miss your tongue in my mouth. I miss your hard dick rocking against mine in that hotel bed before it all got fucked up. I had you, I fucking had you after so long and....." I shake my head at his words, biting down on my bottom lip and he stops speaking for a second as his frown increases and he says "No, don't you fucking try to deny it. I had you Gee, in that hotel room and in the hospital after, don't even try to tell me you didn't want me in that hospital room before Frank came along and fucked everything up yet again." "Ok but so what if I did, I'm married to Frank, I love Frank and I'm committed to making it work with him. I'm sorry Ian but I don't want you, not in that way. I just want my best friend back" I tell him and Ians face changes from a frown to a glare to a look I've never seen before and the next thing I know he marches across the small space between us and backs me against the side of the bunks, leaning in and smashing his lips to mine as his hand slides down and cups my crotch and I squirm against him as I brace my hands against his chest and try to push him off me but he just pushes back twice as hard as his hand squeezes my dick and it causes me to go a little limp, a pained whine escaping my mouth and he uses my slightly weakened state against me as he leans down and bites into my collarbone, causing me to scream out as I try to pull away but the damage is done and I know I will have a mark there, Ian just confirming it for me as he pulls away and smirks, saying "Good luck explaining that to Frank" before he turns and walks back into the front lounge and I run into the bathroom, locking the door behind myself before sinking down on the closed toilet as I start to cry, my hand coming up to rub over my throbbing flesh and I quickly stand, turning to look in the mirror as I pull the collar of my shirt out of the way and I see the red patch on my skin where Ian just bit me and I start to cry even harder, sinking to the floor and pulling my knees up to my chest as I sob into them until I can't breathe anymore.

Later that night while the guys are backstage getting ready for the show I sit in the corner of the dressing room by myself, remaining silent and when Frank comes over and kneels infront of me, asking if I'm alright I just shrug and nod vaguely as I say "Yeah, just got alot on my mind." Frank frowns, clearly about to press it further but I throw him a fake smile before standing and telling him I need to get going to get out to the merch table and he nods, pulling me into his arms and I tense up a little before melting against his chest and wrapping my arms around him, hugging back and praying he didn't notice my tensing."Love you" he tells me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips when we pull apart and I keep the fake smile plastered to my face as I say "Love you too" before letting go of Frank and heading for the door, catching eyes with Ian on the way and he just smirks at me, clearly having no conscience about what he did early and as I reach for the doorknob I raise my other hand and tug the collar of my shirt a little higher, trying to make sure the bite mark is still covered so no one can see it. The show that night passes in what seems like no time at all, all the merch I brought in from the van selling out and I consider going outside for more but the show is almost over and I have rationed the remaining merch for the shows left until we can get the next order and I decide not to mess with that. I start to pack up as the last song is on and as I'm making my way out of the back of the venue a few girls flock me, all of them crowding me and talking a million miles an hour, screaming to be heard over the noise and I find myself freaking out, feeling like I can't breathe and I turn and flee, taking off through the doors without a word and once I make it outside I run down towards the parking lot, security letting me through and I run straight for the bus, putting in the code and letting myself in and I dump all the stuff I had in my hands on the table in the front lounge as I make my way to the bathroom, locking myself in and sinking to my knees, curling up as tight as I can as what happened earlier runs through my mind, flashbacks of the alley way in Jersey hitting me too and I sit and cry until I hear a banging on the door and Franks voice calls out for me and I realise I have been sitting in the bus bathroom for well over an hour.

After I come out of the bathroom I collapse into Franks arms, my tears starting up again and Frank looks terrified as he drops to his knees under my sudden weight, his arms wrapping around me tight and I shuffle closer to him, feeling him shift around to sit and he pulls me to sit in his lap, my face buried in his neck as I shake and I don't seem to have any control over myself anymore, letting everything out and I vaguely register voices and footsteps, Frank saying something I don't catch before the footsteps fade again and we are alone. Frank tries talking to me at first, asking whats wrong and when he realises he's not going to get an answer he falls silent, just holding me and rubbing my back until I calm down again and he pulls back from me a little to bring a hand up to wipe at my cheeks, drying them a little before running his fingers through my hair. "Baby can you tell me what happened?" He asks again and I bite down on my bottom lip as it trembles again and I feel my body start to shake and Frank sighs before pulling me back against his chest again and I bury my face in his neck and remain silent, not wanting to talk about it. A little while later Frank guides me to stand, standing with me before taking my hand and leading me back to the bunks, pulling back the curtain on his and grabbing the bag and jacket that are in there, throwing them into my bunk instead before guiding me into his and I shuffle back against the wall, Frank leaning in and stroking my hair as he tells me he will be right back and when he leaves I curl up, closing my eyes and squeezing them shut until I hear footsteps coming and my eyes snap open again, seeing Frank come back into view with a bottle of water and he offers it to me, letting me take a drink before he takes one too and he puts the bottle in the end of the bunk for us before stripping down to his boxers, throwing his clothes in my bunk and when he asks if I want to take mine off I shake my head, my heart starting to race and Frank frowns and says "Atleast take your jeans off baby," his hands reaching in for my belt and we work together to get them off, my body feeling more comfortable without them and after Frank climbs in and pulls the curtain closed he turns to face me and I shake my head before he can speak, a frown crossing his face but he doesn't say anything, just pulls me closer as he pulls the blankets over us, letting me curl up against his chest before we go still and I fall asleep to the soothing sound of his steady heartbeat.


	70. Chapter Seventy

The next morning I wake up in Franks bunk alone, his voice sounding from the front lounge and just as I go to roll over and close my eyes again, the bunk feeling like a safe haven that I have no intentions of leaving the curtain pulls back and I come face to face with Ian, my whole body jolting rigid before sliding back as far away from him as I can get. "Ready to make a decision?" He sneers at me and I swallow hard, feeling my breathing become erratic as I shake my head no and Ian's face changes into an expression that terrifies me. "That was a very stupid answer" he spits at me before turning and walking away, disappearing into the front lounge and I reach out and grab the curtain, pulling it back across as I turn my face into the pillow and scream, tears streaming down my cheeks and soaking the fabric.

After I manage to calm myself down I slip out of the bunk and reach into my own for my backpack, picking out some clean clothes and going into the bathroom to change, checking my appearance and when I go back into the bunk area I grab a sweater, pulling it on over my shirt, wanting another layer of cover and protection even though I would be comfortable without it. As I make my way into the front lounge I scan the area and I see Ian sitting beside Frank talking to him, Franks attention on me and he smiles and pats his lap, offering me a seat but I offer him a brief small half smile before taking a seat beside Spence instead and Frank frowns in confusion and turns his head to look over at Ian again, responding to whatever was said but I can't make out what they're talking about and I pull my legs up and hug them to my chest, making myself as small as possible as I let all the different conversations happen around me, not having anything to offer anyone right now.

A few hours later we pull up at the venue for the following night and the tour manager tells Frank and Ian they have press in a half hour, the rest of the guys free until the afternoon and as the techs move to leave the bus, equipment needing to be sorted out Frank comes over and sits beside me, Spence having left to the bunks. "Baby, what's going on?" He asks softly, clearly trying to keep the conversation between us but when I look up Ian is watching us intently from the other side of the lounge. "It's nothing" I try, meeting Franks gaze and I can tell he clearly doesn't buy it. "I just have a lot on my mind" I try again, Franks frown growing even deeper and I force a smile to my face as I say "I'm okay babe, promise," leaning across to press a kiss to his lips, Frank seeming to relax a little as he starts to kiss back and I keep the kiss soft and sweet, no tongues before pulling away and Frank offers me a smile which I force myself to return and he leans back in and presses a kiss to the end of my nose. "Love you so much" he tells me and my smile turns genuine as I say "Love you more."

The rest of my afternoon passes quietly, Frank and Ian leaving to do their press before returning and we all have a slightly late lunch before the whole band leaves for another press engagement and I am left alone with the techs, most of them gone out to get off the bus for a while and by the time the band returns it's time for dinner and we all decide to go out, everyone changing before we go to a restaurant for dinner and after we're done the guys decide they want to go to a club for a while, me not really in the mood but Frank begs me to come and I feel my resolve crumble as I agree to join them, a few of the techs who didn't join us for dinner tagging along for the club and we all have a few drinks, laughing and joking in our own little group before people start to split off. I have had a few drinks and I feel myself starting to loosen right up when Frank takes my hand and leads me into the crowd of dancing bodies, pulling me in deep before turning and wrapping his hands around my hips, moving me with him and I smile to myself as I wrap my arms around his neck and start to join in, his hands sliding around to my ass when he feels he doesn't have to guide me anymore and we both lean in, sealing our mouths together as the crowd falls out of our focus and we get lost in each other, making out and grinding on the dance floor until Frank pulls away and guides me back over to the bar where Spence and Ian are, telling me he will be right back and as he makes his way towards the bathrooms Ian shoots me a nasty smirk and slides off his chair, following Frank and I feel my insides clench as a bad feeling washes over me.

Frank and Ian are gone for what feels like forever and I am about to go after them when I see Frank making his way back across the club towards me, his expression completely different from when he left just ten minutes ago and when he reaches me he reaches for my hand but instead of taking it he wraps his hand around my wrist way too tightly as he leans in and says "We're leaving, now." I follow behind as Frank drags me across the club and when we make it out onto the street he tugs me along and I stumble, almost losing my balance as Frank keeps walking and one of the bouncers at the door to the club steps over and touches my arm. "Is everything okay here?" He asks, Frank turning his head to glare at him as he says "Get your hands off my husband," the guard keeping his hand where it is and I know where this is going so I quickly say "Yeah everything's fine thanks, I think I just had one too many," trying to pass off the situation as me being drunk and Frank helping me and the guard glances between us before nodding and removing his hand, Frank huffing a sigh before starting to walk again and we make it a few steps away before I yank my hand from his grip. "Frank what's going on?" I ask, stopping abruptly as he spins to face me and his face flashes with rage as he reaches out and grabs the collar of my shirt in his fist, pulling it out of the way and ripping it a little, exposing the bite mark on my collarbone before I can even react and I immediately know Ian said something to him. "I must be really fucking stupid to keep trusting and chasing a lying fucking slut like you" Frank spits at me, his other hand coming up to brace against my chest and he shoves me hard, knocking me back a few steps before I lose my balance, hitting the sidewalk hard and before I can really process what just happened he steps forward and reaches for me, his hands almost grabbing me when the security guard grabs Frank from behind and pulls him back, another helping me to my feet again as Frank turns on the guard. "Stop" I yell, my voice shaky with tears as I try to stop Frank from doing something stupid like hit the guard and when he turns his attention from the guard to me I sob out "I didn't do anything, Ian forced himself on me" but Frank just scoffs in my direction and pushes past the security guard without another word, walking off down the street and leaving me behind.


	71. Chapter Seventy One

After I assure the security guards that I will be fine, declining their offer to call someone for me I start to slowly make my way back towards the bus and when I reach the parking area at the back of the venue I hesitate, not ready to go back inside while no one else is here and I walk across and sit on a low brick wall in a darkened corner of the venue and light up a cigarette, smoking slowly in an attempt to calm myself down but it doesn't really help and by the time it's done I have a steady steam of silent tears streaming down my cheeks and soaking my shirt and all I want is to call Mikey. I sit for another few minutes, getting my breathing under control before reaching into my pocket for my phone and just as I retrieve it I hear footsteps and when I look up I see Ian in the dim lighting of a street light stumbling his way towards the bus and I freeze, praying he doesn't notice me but my phone screen lights up and catches his attention, his direction changing as he makes his way towards me, calling out a drunken "Hey," clearly not knowing who I am. 

I slide off the wall as I consider making a run for it but my feet feel frozen to the spot and by the time I regain some control over myself he's too close, close enough to tell who I am in the dark and his face pulls into a foul smug smirk as he boxes me in against the wall. "Well well well" he slurs a little, the smell of alcohol strong on his breath as he leans in close to my face. "Get away from me Ian" I tell him, my voice remaining surprisingly even and Ian scoffs at me before spitting "Nah, I don't think so" at me and the next thing I know he grabs the front of my shirt, pulling me off the wall before spinning me around and his arm comes to wrap around my chest, his other coming up to clamp his hand over my mouth before I can scream and he starts guiding me further away from the bus and into the darkness. I thrash around in his arms, trying desperately to get away but Ian is much stronger than me and he tightens his arm around me, crushing the air out of my lungs and making me drop my phone as he forces me around the next corner and into the alley beside the club, the bus and parking lot completely gone from sight and I let out a low whine into Ian's hand. 

Once we are a few steps into the alley Ian turns frantic and before I know it my shirt has been ripped from my body and he forces a large balled up portion into my mouth, pulling it tight around my face and tying the loose ends tight behind my head and the fabric muffles the screams I'm attempting to make as his hands roughly grab at me, grabs turning into strikes as I struggle to get away and I hear a sickening crack as his fist makes contact with my ribs yet again, pain shooting through me and I cry out into the fabric as I struggle to breathe, the fight leaving me slightly due to the intense pain and Ian uses it to his advantage as his hands tear at my pants, getting them open before he slams me face first up against the wall and tugs them off, my hands alternating between trying to push myself away from the wall and reaching back to hit at Ian but he plasters himself right against my back, forcing my now naked body against the rough brick wall and I feel it scraping my skin as the sound of his belt clinking open rings and I make one last attempt to get him off me before Ian punches me in the ribs again and I go limp, spots dancing in my vision and the pain from my ribs is overtaken by the pain coming from my ass, Ian forcing his dick inside me, only just enough lube to allow it on his dick and I feel my flesh tear and split as he fucks into me harshly, no regard for my wellbeing at all and I feel my will to fight die, all hope leaving me as my mind shuts off and I feel myself start to numb. 

Ian's attack lasts for what feels like an eternity, the brick wall shredding the skin on my chest and stomach and dick as he pounds me into it over and over again before he pulls out and knocks me to the ground, pulling me to my knees and tearing the skin from them as he forces his way back into me, the slide slicker with my blood now and after a few thrusts he grabs the back of my hair and forces my face into a puddle on the ground infront of us and I don't fight anymore, praying I will just drown and this will be over but after a few long seconds I am pulled back and Ian's hands roughly knock me over onto my back, my ribs protesting the rough movement as he grabs my thighs and rips them apart, sliding his way back into me and I turn my head to the side, not wanting to look at him but Ian has other ideas and his hand roughly punches me in the jaw before forcing my head to look up at him. "You look at me you fucking bitch" he spits at me and I stare into his soulless eyes for a second before clenching my eyes shut as a last act of defiance and a second later I feel his fist collide with my face again, three quick punches hitting me before he screams "Fucking look at me" and I force my eyes back open, my whole face throbbing and Ian makes another few agonising thrusts before I feel him pulse inside me, his hips shuttering as he cums deep inside me, the whole action making me feel dirty and it's only then that I feel myself start to cry. Ian stays inside me for a few long seconds after he's done before he roughly pulls out, scrambling to his feet and I watch in silence as he pulls his pants back up, zipping them and redoing his belt before he steps up beside my head and spits on my face, calling me a worthless whore as he turns and leaves the alley, heading back towards the bus. 

I lay naked and bleeding in the alley for what feels like hours, tears steaming down my cheeks and making my split cheek and lip sting and throb and I listen to the sounds of the other guys coming back to the bus, laughing and joking and clearly having no idea of what's happened or where I am and as the darkness fades out into the first signs of the new day light I force myself to move, sliding over and finding my pants which I pull back on and I slump back against the wall, the pain of everything really hitting me now and I feel my vision start to go blurry around the edges, consciousness slowly leaving me and as I allow myself to slip into sleep all I can think about is how I've been out all night and Frank hasn't come to look for me.


	72. Chapter Seventy Two

The next time I wake up the sun is shining bright in my aching eyes and my whole body feels over heated and heavy, pain shooting from every cell of my being and just as I let my eyes slip closed again I hear voices and footsteps coming closer to the alley and Franks voice shouts out my name, my whole body flinching at the loud sudden noise and I try to pull myself across the pavement towards a nearby dumpster, just wanting to hide and be left alone but the pain of my broken rib is too much to bare and I slump back into the ground, hoping that if I stay still maybe whoever is coming will keep on walking but a few seconds later I hear someone yell out for Frank, their voice frantic and suddenly what seems like thousands of footsteps come charging at me and when hands touch me I lose it, screaming out and throwing my fists and feet out in an attempt to fight them off and I hear Franks voice sobbingly tell me to stop, multiple hands grabbing at me and I continue to scream, my screams turning from frightened to pained as their touches press on places I either have bruises or no skin and by the time I'm in someone's arms I have gone limp again, my energy completely drained and all I can do is make weak little whimpers and pleas to not be hurt anymore to whoever is carrying me. 

I am taken into the bus and laid on the couch in the front lounge and I get the feeling I am being stared at, a voice saying "Get back and give him some room" as I open my eyes again and I come face to face with Frank, the tour manager standing over his shoulder and I see most of the techs and band crowding around behind him, my eyes immediately scanning for Ian but I don't see him and I feel my heart slow down again. I continue to stare into my crowd of onlookers until Frank gently touches my forehead, his fingers pushing my hair back as he softly says my name and I snap my eyes back to his, tear tracks on his cheeks and he softly sobs out "Who did this to you?" I continue to stare at him but don't say a word and as the silence drags on Frank sobs out "Baby" but doesn't press it any further, both of us falling silent until the tour manager breaks the silence to tell us an ambulance is here and the lounge clears out to make way for the paramedics and Frank disappears from view as two strangers start to poke and prod me, asking questions and I try to shift away from their hands, my eyes slipping closed and my body goes heavy as I slip into unconsciousness again.

Two days later I am still in hospital, hooked up to an IV and my body is being pumped with various medications and antibiotics to help fight off infection. I am yet to speak to anyone, having no will to, but Mikey is still by my bedside where he has been since I first woke up in here after being brought here from the bus, just staying with me and letting me grip onto his hand as he watches over me and I find myself slightly relaxed knowing he's here. "Hey" Mikey says softly when he notices I'm awake and I turn my head to look at him, my hand slipping back into his before I turn my head the other way and look out the window, the sky a cloudless blue and I clench my eyes shut again, just wanting the release unconsciousness brings and as my breathing starts to even out I hear the door open and I force my eyes back open to see Frank coming into the room with some flowers and a box of my favourite chocolates. 

As Frank approaches the bed Mikey squeezes my hand gently to get my attention before standing and leaning in, whispering in my ear "Gee I'm going to step out for a minute, I promise you Frank will look after you and he won't let anyone else in here. Is that okay?" I nod slightly, Mikey squeezing my hand gently one last time before letting it go and he pauses to whisper something to Frank on his way out the door, closing it behind him and leaving Frank and I alone. Frank hesitates for a second before continuing his way around to the seat that Mikey just left and he remains standing as he smiles softly and reaches out to sit the flowers and chocolates on the table beside the bed. "Hi baby" Frank coos softly, reaching down and resting his hand on the mattress beside mine, keeping a small distance between them and I stare up at him for a few long seconds before sliding mine across and brushing my fingers over the back of Franks, his hand immediately flipping over and gently taking mine. Frank takes a seat and we remain silent for a few minutes, just staring at each other as we hold hands and I feel oddly comforted now that he's here despite everything that happened before the attack, until Frank swallows hard and says "Baby I'm so sorry for what happened the other night, I'm just.....I'm hurt and trying to figure out why you.....what did I do to push you to Ian again..." 

At the mention of Ian's name I cut Frank off with a loud involuntary pained whine and Frank pauses, staring into my eyes before saying "Gee, who did this to you?" I fall silent again, my heart racing as I feel terror grip my whole body and I start to shake my head, Franks face pulling into a frown as he says "Ian" and I feel my whole body tense and flinch and Frank lets out a low growl as he tries to release my hand but I tighten my grip on him to keep him there and as my breathing becomes choppy again Frank takes a deep breath and tries to pull away again and I force myself to speak. "I tried to tell you" is all I manage to get out, my free hand coming up to rest over my chest near the bite mark and Franks face becomes even more enraged before his expression changes to sadness and his eyes well with tears as he leans down over me and gently presses his lips to the corner of my mouth. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I'll never forgive myself for not listening to you. I'm so sorry I got so mad" he whispers softly and I feel my own eyes well with tears again as I sit up slightly, pressing myself into Franks chest and his arms wrap around me, pressing a little too tight but I bite down the whine of protest in my throat, needing to be held and protected and as I bring my hands up to wrap around Franks shoulders I break, loud sobs escaping me as I bury my face in his neck and fall apart, his arms the only things keeping me together.


	73. Chapter Seventy Three

Frank continues to hold me for hours, his body joining mine on the hospital bed and I cling to him like my life depends on it until I feel my eyes grow heavy and I fall asleep against his chest, his hands rubbing soothing circles up and down my back. When I wake up again Frank is gone from beside me but I can hear soft voices and when I open my eyes I see him and Mikey sitting across the room from me on the couch under the window, deep in conversation but I can't make out the words and I notice Frank has changed, his clothes fresh and clean and his hair still damp looking and all I want in the world right now is to take a shower. I lay in silence and continue to just watch Frank and Mikey until Frank glances up and notices I'm awake, a small smile playing at his lips as he stands and walks towards me and Mikey stays where he is, allowing us to have a moment as Frank reaches me and leans in to gently cup my face in his hands, his lips coming to press gently to the end of my nose making my heart speed up. "How are you feeling my love?" Frank asks and I shrug slightly before reaching up and touching his damp hair. "A shower would be nice" I comment, Frank smiling a little wider at me as he nods before he leans in and pecks the end of my nose again, his thumb stroking my cheek before he lets go of me and turns to leave the room, Mikey coming over to sit beside the bed while he's gone. 

Frank returns a few minutes later with a nurse and Mikey stands and moves back a little to let her near me, both of them watching as she pokes and prods me a little while asking some routine questions about how I'm feeling and I offer brief basic answers, her head nodding along to show she's listening and when she's done with her assessment she says "So you'd like to take a shower?" I nod, my whole body feeling disgusting and she smiles and reaches out to disconnect my IV, covering my hand before she tells me that it should be fine and she will come back in half an hour to check on me, telling me to call for a nurse if I need any help at all. Once she's gone Frank and Mikey both come back over, standing either side of the bed and they help ease me up to sit, my ribs protesting slightly but the need to shower pushing me on and I manage to sit up and turn my body to the side, swinging my legs off the bed and after a few seconds of rest Frank and Mikey help me slide off to stand, both of their arms wrapped around me until I find my balance and they ease off, letting me go but staying close and ready to catch me if I fall but I manage to take a few steps without falling so I tell them I'm fine. 

Frank follows me across the room and into the small bathroom carrying my bag of things that he has brought me from the bus and after we go inside he pulls the door closed behind us, reaching out and starting the shower for me and when he's satisfied with the temperature he turns back to me but I make no move to undress myself, Frank frowning as he steps back towards me and asks "Do you need some help?" His hands reaching out for me and I step back and shake my head, my eyes taking in his busted, swollen knuckles that I didn't notice before and my hands come up infront of me and he stops, dropping his hands again as he looks upset and I swallow hard before asking "Can you....can I be alone?" Frank stares at me for a long second before nodding slightly, sadness in his eyes as he says "Sure, whatever you need. I'll be right outside okay, just call out if you need anything." I nod, not knowing what to say now and after another long second Frank leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind him and once I'm alone I start to strip myself off. 

The hot water of the shower stings and the pressure presses against all my scrapes and bruises making them throb but it also feels amazing and I stand under it and let it wash over my whole body, taking my tears with it as I cry to myself and after a few minutes I reach out and grab the clean, soft wash cloth Frank left for me along with the soap and I start to scrub at myself, flashes of what Ian did to me passing through my mind and I scrub hard at all the places I swear I can still feel him, reopening some scrapes but I ignore the pain and the blood as I keep going, needing him off me and as I reach back between my ass cheeks I cry out at the pain as I scrub and scrub, my vision blurry from the tears as the door opens and Frank comes back in, having heard me but he stops where he is when he sees the blood pouring from various places on my body, his eyes widening as they make their way down my body and I follow his gaze and see red running down my legs and pooling around my feet. "Don't...." I start, trying to tell him to not look at me but Frank cuts me off by crossing the room and grabbing my wrist, pulling my hand away from my ass as he sobs out "Stop, baby you're hurting yourself," tears spilling from his eyes and I start to sob even harder as I choke out "I need him off me, I can't....he's still...." unable to finish a thought and Frank toes his shoes off before stepping into the cubicle with me, his clothes getting soaked as he pulls my body against his, letting me bury my face in his neck as my sobs turn to screams and we collapse to the shower floor together, Frank holding me tight as I fall apart and I feel myself start to hyperventilate, the room feeling like it's spinning and the last thing I register is the bathroom door opening and Mikey stepping into the room before I pass out again.


	74. Chapter Seventy Four

I wake up in bed again, Frank sitting beside me hunched over his note pad so I remain silent, just watching him write and when he looks up again he smiles and sits the book down. "Hey beautiful" he greets me, reaching a hand out towards me and I reach up and grab it, bringing it closer to my face as I ask "What happened to your hands?" Frank doesn't say anything, just continues to stare at me but the slight shift in his expression confirms what I already know and I nod once and let his hand go, letting him bring it down to cup my cheek and I see him relax, knowing I'm not mad at him. "How are you feeling?" He asks, bringing his eyes up to lock with mine and I feel my bottom lip quiver before a shaky breath leaves my lips and Frank nods, his thumb gently stroking my cheek as he says "Baby I have something I need to talk to you about," my breath hitching as I start to panic and Frank makes a soft shushing noise before continuing. "The guys and I have come to a decision, we're cancelling the tour for the time being" he tells me and I stare at him in confusion for a few long seconds before I say "But I thought...I mean you said you couldn't." "I know, this is a huge huge decision for us to make but we all feel it's the right one and we just hope the fans understand. Your wellbeing is far more important to all of us than the tour, plus we're missing a lead guitarist now so...." Frank trails off, taking in my expression when he mentions Ian. "I'm sorry" he offers softly when he sees how upset I get and I shake my head, calming myself down again before saying "So the guys agree?" feeling skeptical of that and Frank nods before saying "They've actually been here every day, they just weren't sure you would want so many visitors." "Oh" I gasp, feeling overwhelmingly touched by that as I was sure they all hated me. "Can you tell them thanks? I just don't think I'm ready for all this in here, I mean I just...." I trail off, unsure of what I'm trying to say but Frank seems to get it and he leans over me to press a soft kiss to the side of my mouth. "Its okay baby" Frank reassures me and I nod, feeling myself relax again. 

Three days later I am starting to feel better physically, the medications being pumped into me scaling right down and Frank and Mikey have gone back to the hotel the guys have been staying at for the last few days to shower when a nurse comes in to check on me, gently poking and prodding and I find the pain in some places almost gone. She smiles reassuringly at me as she tells me that the doctor will be in to see me soon and fifteen minutes later he comes in, distracting me from flicking through the tv channels as he takes note of my charts and asks a few questions before telling me I can be discharged this afternoon. This information is still setting in when Frank comes into the room, looking fresh and clean and we both smile softly as we lock eyes, my heart skipping a beat and when he approaches me and leans down for a hug I wrap my arms around him and cling to him, my face burying in his neck and I breathe in his scent, feeling a sense of calm wash through my entire being before I pull away and Frank stays close, sitting on the edge of the bed as his hand comes up to run through my hair. "Missed you beautiful" he tells me and I feel my lips pull into a bigger smile, Franks matching and I tell him what the doctor said, Frank getting so excited he can barely sit still. 

The following day Frank, Mikey and I board a plane to head back to New York, the rest of the band and crew having already gone home and the tour has been cancelled for atleast the next eight weeks, pending further announcement due to a family emergency, the press release not specifying whose family and I am grateful for that. When we land Pete meets us at the airport and he runs straight for us, Mikey looking excited but as he reaches us he reaches out and grabs me instead, pulling me into his chest and I let out a small laugh as I wrap my arms around him, hugging him back before pulling back and when I look over Mikey is watching us with a pout. "Sorry gorgeous" Pete offers before stepping over and wrapping his arms around Mikeys waist, lifting him off the floor and spinning him around while he kisses him and they make out for a minute, Frank and I turning away and Frank wraps his arm around my waist as he starts to guide me away. When we leave the airport we all grab a cab, heading to Franks apartment first and when we pull up he looks over at me questioningly, both of us just staring at each other for a few long seconds while I try to make a decision before I nod, taking Franks hand and he climbs out of the cab, helping me out too and we grab our bags from the trunk, Mikey climbing out too to give me a hug before getting back in and the cab drives off, Frank taking both our bags and following me into the building. 

The rest of the afternoon passes quietly, Frank sorting out the bags dumped in the hallway that the guys brought back for him, putting clothes in to wash and dry while I lay on the couch and watch tv, my mind not really focused on it and I have no idea how long I lay staring at the screen for before Frank comes in and kneels infront of me. "Babe" he says softly, his hand coming to rest on my thigh and I tilt my head to look at him, making eye contact and he smiles and says "I was calling you, are you okay?" "Sorry" I offer back, frowning to myself as I realise I must have been really out of it. "Its alright, are you hungry?" He asks, my stomach rumbling softly and I nod, pushing myself to sit up and Frank smiles as he stands and reaches his hands out to help me up, taking me into the kitchen and I take a seat at the table while he grabs his phone and some takeout menus, asking me what I'd like and I just shrug, having no idea and Frank just offers me a smile and makes a call, ordering what sounds like Chinese before joining me at the table and we sit in almost silence until the food arrives. 

After dinner I decide to take a shower, going into the bedroom and gathering some clean clothes out of the freshly washed basket Frank has in the corner waiting to be folded before crossing to the bathroom and I start the water, letting it heat up as I look at myself in the mirror, taking in the bruises and cuts still on my face and as my hands work on removing my clothes I follow with my eyes, looking at all the healing scrapes and cuts and bruises until I'm completely naked and I see the deep finger bruises on my hips and thighs and I feel my stomach churn, my eyes welling with tears and I turn and vomit violently into the toilet, heaving and coughing as I choke on it and just as I'm done, nothing left in me a warm hand touches my shoulder and I flinch, backing away and nearly falling down as I come face to face with Frank and he frowns and starts to apologise as he reaches out to help steady me. "Please go" I whisper, tears still streaming down my cheeks and Franks frown grows even deeper as he says "What?" "Please don't look at me, just go" I sob out, not wanting him to see my disgusting used body and Frank nods, lowering his hands and backing away until he's gone, the door closing behind him and I reach out and flush the toilet before stepping into the shower, sinking to the floor under the hot spray and I bring my knees up, curling up as much as I can with my ribs as I let myself cry.

Half an hour later I have pulled myself together a little and I have managed to get myself washed and then dried and dressed and I'm sitting on the edge of the bed when Frank comes in and crosses to me, kneeling on the floor at my feet and gently rubbing his hands on my thighs just above my knees. "I'm so sorry for before baby, I just wanted to make sure you were okay" he tells me and I just stare at him, not knowing what to say and he takes my silence for a second before asking "Are you feeling alright now? Do you want some water or tea or something?" I think about it for a moment before telling him "Tea would be nice" and Frank smiles warmly at me and pushes himself to stand, grabbing his laptop and offering it to me before leaving the room and while he's gone I start it up and pick a movie, shuffling around to sit against the headboard with the covers over my lap and I sit the laptop down next to my legs, wanting Frank to join me and when he comes back with my cup he switches off the light on his way over, leaving the room dimly lit by the lamp beside the bed. Frank sits my tea on the table beside me before taking off his shirt and climbing into bed beside me, settling in the same position I am and I lean down and start the movie, grabbing my tea as I sit back up and a few minutes in Frank slides his arm around my waist, pausing in his movement for a moment to make sure it's alright and I shuffle around and lean over into him, his arm tightening around me a little as we sit and watch the movie and I drink my tea, my stomach feeling settled again by the time I'm done.


	75. Chapter Seventy Five

I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, my breathing rough and uneven and my body sticky with sweat and I sit up, rubbing a hand over my face as I glance around the darkened room, everything just visible in the moonlight and I hear Frank snoring softly beside me. I slide off the side of the bed and make my way out to the kitchen, leaving the lights off and just going by the moonlight coming in the windows and I grab a glass, getting some water and having a drink and when I turn to leave the room I spot Franks cigarettes on the counter so I grab them, figuring it might help me relax and I make my way out onto the balcony, sliding the door closed behind me and I breathe in the brisk night air, slight goosebumps raising on my arms as I slide down the wall to sit on the ground, leaning back against the bricks with my knees pulled up infront of me and I light a cigarette, smoking slowly but it does nothing and when I no longer have it to focus on anymore I break, big fat tears rolling down my cheeks and that's how Frank finds me twenty minutes later, sitting alone on the balcony crying my eyes out and he settles down beside me, pulling me into his side and rubbing his hands up and down my side and back as he lets me cry. 

"Come on baby" Frank says softly when I've calmed down again, letting me go and standing up, reaching down to help me up too and he takes me back inside, taking me into the bedroom and settling us back in bed, pulling the covers over me and when I turn onto my side he tries to spoon up behind me but I tense and flinch away, my whole body shifting closer to the edge of the bed as I scream "No," feeling terrified. "Hey hey it's okay" he tells me, sliding back and giving me some space and I feel my whole body trembling, shaking the bed slightly and Frank sighs and says "Baby I'm sorry, I just wanted to cuddle you I swear." I curl up a little, my body still tense and shaking and I don't say anything back, part of my brain knowing Frank wouldn't hurt me but I can't seem to make the rest accept that so I continue to shake and cry until I fall asleep again. The next morning I wake up alone, Frank gone from beside me and I feel a huge knot in my stomach, a bad feeling spreading through me so I get up, leaving the room in search of him and when I step into the hallway I hear Mikey's voice ask "So how was last night?" "I knew it was going to be hard, I knew there would be things that might set him off but I didn't expect" Frank voice sounds out, pausing for a second before he continues "I tried to hold him, I woke up in the middle of the night and he was gone and I found him on the balcony breaking down and when I managed to get him back to bed I tried to hold him, just to comfort and let him know I'm here and he freaked out and screamed at me and I couldn't get anywhere near him. Even in sleep he just.....I don't know. I don't know what to do Mikey, I'm trying to be there but every time I try to comfort him or even talk to him I can tell he's not really fully there and I get so fucking angry and I just want to stomp on that fucking cunt until he's dead." I swallow hard, taking a moment to gather myself before I keep walking, rounding the corner and entering the kitchen and both Frank and Mikey look up at me, their conversation stopping and I cross the room to the table, reaching out and grabbing Franks coffee, taking a sip and smiling at him as he stares up at me and he smiles back, reaching out for his cup but I turn my body slightly, moving the cup further away from him and his smile slips into a smirk as he reaches out and tries to tickle my side, pulling a small giggle from me as I try to squirm away and I offer him the cup back. 

Half an hour later Mikey goes home and I tidy up the coffee cups, Frank disappearing from the room and when I'm done I go to look for him, finding him laying on the bed on his phone and when I walk over and climb on beside him, crawling over and straddling his legs and I reach out and take his phone, dropping it on the mattress beside us before lowering myself down and settling my head on his chest, my forehead pressed into his neck as I lay on him and Frank hesitates for a second before slowly bringing his arms up around me, his hands gently rubbing my back and I melt into him a little, my hand clenching in the front of his shirt and we lay like this for a while, a few tears escaping me and soaking Franks shirt but he doesn't seem to mind. Frank starts to softly sing to me, one hand working it's way up into my hair and I stop crying, sniffling a few times as my eyes slip closed and his hand on my back paired with his fingers working against my scalp make me feel boneless, my whole body feeling good for the first time in days as I breathe in Franks scent, his body heat warming me throughout and I stop thinking, going with instinct as I brace one hand against the mattress, pushing myself up slightly so I am looking down at Frank and we stare at each other for a long second before I lean in and seal my lips to his, Frank expecting just a simple kiss but in the moment I want more and he hums in surprise as I slide my tongue into his mouth, kissing him fully for the first time in days. 

Frank starts to kiss back and we really start to get into it, our tongues battling for dominance and I feel his hands slide down to rest on my hips before he rolls us to the side, my body settling beside his and he slides a hand around to rest in the middle of my lower back, pressing me forward and bringing me back against his body and I try to remain calm, reminding myself over and over that this is Frank and this is okay and he won't hurt me and I manage to keep from freaking out, our kiss slowly coming to an end and when I pull back for air I feel my lips tingling, my breath coming out in pants and Franks lips continue to trail soft kisses all over my cheeks and nose before making their way down my jaw, my body starting to feel the familiar stirrings of arousal and I can feel Franks half hard dick against my thigh. "So so beautiful" Frank coos softly between kisses, his lips making their way back towards my mouth and I turn my head, capturing his lips with mine and we start to make out again, Franks hand sliding down my back but he stops to rest it in the small of my back, not going any lower and I feel myself relax again, my body having tensed up the lower he went. 

Our kisses start to get deeper and rougher the longer we go and I find myself building courage despite the tense feeling in my stomach and I try so hard to just stay in the moment rather than let my head get the better of me, this whole situation so different from what happened and I gather up the courage to clench my hand in the front of Franks shirt, rolling onto my back and pulling Frank over with me and he shifts to settle above me, one of his legs braced between mine and he holds himself up above me as he breaks the kiss and looks down at me, his eyes questioning and I let out a long breath as I nod slightly, Frank nodding back and his lips pull into a smile as he leans back down and we continue where we were, sharing heated kisses and Frank pulls away from my mouth and starts trailing his lips down my jaw, going lower and pressing a gentle kiss to my neck and I turn my head, exposing it to him and he keeps going, kissing down a little further and when his lips press over a particularly sensitive spot I shiver beneath him, the pressure increasing as he sucks a little and I groan out "Yes," pushing my head further into the pillow and pressing my neck into his face to increase the pressure and Frank keeps licking and sucking and kissing that spot and I feel the pulsing sting of him marking me, that pulsing shooting down to my dick which is starting to harden a little and when Frank starts to move his head I tangle my fingers in the back of his hair and try to hold him there, wanting more, wanting him to mark me and make me his again, his mark meaning so much to me in that moment to take over all the other marks I currently have and Frank starts kissing me again, moving a little lower and starting to suck and groan loudly, unable to keep it in. As Frank keeps licking and sucking on my skin my dick keeps hardening, my whole body feeling amazing and I buck down against his thigh between my legs, rubbing myself against him and he pauses, his face still buried in my neck and I do it again, Frank taking my signal and he starts kissing and nibbling his way back up to my lips, capturing them in a hungry kiss which I eagerly return.


	76. Chapter Seventy Six

"Ohhh Frank" I groan out against his lips as he brings one hand up to gently run his fingers up my neck, pressing into the marks he just made and my eyes roll back in my head a little, my dick straining against my pants now and Frank keeps going, kissing and gently touching me and making me feel so good and in that moment I don't have a care in my mind, completely focused on my husband pressed against me, his lips working wonders. Frank breaks the kiss and brings his mouth over to my ear, taking the lobe in and gently running his teeth over it and my whole body shivers beneath him, making him smirk and do it again and I let out a soft whine as his thigh makes contact with my dick again and Frank whispers in my ear "Can I suck your gorgeous dick baby?" I feel myself tense up for a second, Franks hand sliding down across my stomach to gently rest over the bulge in my pants and I find myself bucking up into it, the contact feeling so good and I nod, just focusing on letting my body take over again and Frank presses one last kiss to my lips before sliding down to kneel between my legs, his face pressing against my bulge through my pants and he starts pressing soft kisses to the fabric, his eyes looking back up at me as his fingers slip into my waistband. I take a deep breath, letting my eyes slip closed as I push my hips off the bed slightly, Frank gently sliding my pants down a little, leaving my boxers on and he gets my pants around my knees before shifting from between my legs to get them fully off and once they're on the floor he crawls back over and starts mouthing at me through my thin boxers and I groan and press up into his mouth, my cloth covered erection slipping past his lips and he starts to suck gently, his warm soft mouth feeling incredible and I let out a soft moan, encouraging him and a few seconds later he pulls off, the fabric now wet with saliva and precum, sticking to me and making me shiver as it cools in the cold air of the room. 

Franks fingers make quick work of the buttons on the front of my boxers, getting them open and pulling my throbbing dick through the opening, leaving my boxers on me and I relax a little more at that, knowing Frank gets it and he starts pressing soft sucking kisses up and down my length, his tongue gently licking as he takes the time to worship every inch of me, my dick really leaking now and when he finally sinks his mouth over the head, lapping at the precum I nearly scream in relief, unable to stop now, needing this more than ever and Frank swallows me down, my toes curling and my body twitching and when I manage to force my eyes open again I look down to see Frank staring up at me, his lips stretched wide around my dick as he works me and we keep the eye contact, one of Franks hands sliding up to ease mine from where it's clenched around the sheets, slipping his fingers between mine while his other slips down into his pants and he starts stroking himself while he sucks me off and the whole thing suddenly feels way more intimate and meaningful than it usually would. "Ohh, ohh god Frankie" I moan out a few minutes later, his tongue working the vein on the underside of my dick every time he moves upwards and the next time he reaches the head he sucks hard, pressing the tip of his tongue just under and I lose it, my dick pulsing and throbbing as I shoot stream after stream of cum into Franks mouth, his mouth working me through it until I'm completely done and he releases me, swallowing everything down before leaning in and pressing soft kisses to my slowly softening flesh, his hand still working himself and a minute later he crawls up, sealing his lips to mine again and as our tongues tangle together, my taste still in his mouth, he shudders above me and groans into my mouth, cumming into his hand. 

Frank climbs off the bed, leaving the room and I hear the sound of running water and a moment later he comes back, his hand washed and he crosses to the bed and kneels beside it, taking my hand as he asks "Would you like to take a shower with me?" I hesitate, knowing that would mean being fully naked infront of him and Frank smiles reassuringly at me, squeezing my hand and I let him pull me up, sliding off the bed and letting him guide me to the bathroom where the shower is running already. Frank drops my hand and starts to work on removing his pants and I remain still, building up my nerve and as Frank pulls his boxers down I do the same, letting them fall to my feet and I quickly step into the shower, keeping my back to Frank and a few seconds later I feel his hand reach out to grab my hip, his touch remaining gentle and I remain where I am, staring at the wall and focusing on breathing as the hot water beats down on me. A few long seconds go past before I feel Frank press himself against my back, his hands resting on my hips and I tense up, feeling him pressed against my ass and back and he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my ear, cooing softly "Shhh baby it's me and I will never hurt you like that, all I want is to hold you and keep you safe." I take a few deep breaths, feeling my body slowly relax and Frank starts trailing soft kisses up and down the side of my neck as his hands come around to rest over my stomach, holding me to him while he tries to help calm me and I let my eyes slip closed, tipping my head back against his shoulder and leaning back into him, letting him hold me and a few silent tears escape me, feeling confused and slightly scared. 

After we wash ourselves I get out of the shower, leaving Frank in there and I wrap a towel around my waist and leave the bathroom, going into the bedroom and drying myself off, dressing in sweat pants and a shirt and when I'm done I go into the living room, laying on the couch as I turn the tv on, my eyes slipping closed, feeling sleepy and content after my orgasm and before Frank comes in I am asleep. I wake up again a few hours later still on the couch, a blanket thrown over me and I smile to myself as I look over and see Frank curled up on the recliner across the room, his lyric journal open on his lap and his pen on the floor and I push myself up and cross the room to him, taking the blanket with me and I gently take the journal, sitting it on the table before laying the blanket over him and as I bend down to pick up the pen his still open journal catches my eye, random half finished lyrics and ideas scrawled across the open page and I glance back at Franks sleeping face before I pick it back up, reading the hastily scrawled words. 

'When the world gets too heavy   
Put it on my back, I'll be your levy'

'Whether near or far  
I am always yours  
Any change in time  
We are young again  
Lay us down  
We're in love'

'In these coming years  
Many things will change  
But the way I feel   
Will remain the same'

'If you're gonna be the death of me  
That's how I want to go'

'I don't want to be afraid  
The deeper that I go  
It takes my breath away  
Soft hearts elastic souls  
Heart to heart'

I feel my eyes well with tears, feeling overwhelmed at the sentiment in these phrases and I glance over at Frank again, his face peaceful in sleep and I feel my heart skip a beat, in utter disbelief that he still feels this way about me and I take the pen, leaving my own note back to him.

'I will come back to life  
But only for you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Thoughts? I'd love to know what you guys think


	77. Chapter Seventy Seven

The next week passes with a lot of ups and downs and while I try my best to move on my nightmares hang around and I am tired and on edge a lot, Frank trying his best to help and make me feel more comfortable but I can't help but push him away, feeling scared and lost. I am laying on the couch staring mindlessly at the tv when Frank comes in and kneels infront of me, blocking my view and I turn my attention on him as he asks "Would you like to go out and do something for a while?" I shake my head, feeling my body tense with fear at the thought of going out and having everyone look at me and the possibility of running into Ian and Frank sighs to himself and says "Come on babe, you have to get out and get some fresh air some time," reaching out and grabbing my wrist, trying to pull me up and I close in on myself even more as I try to yank my arm back, curling up a little and when Frank doesn't let go I start to scream, my body shaking uncontrollably and he drops my arm, pushing himself to his feet again before spitting "Fuck Gee, I don't know how much longer I can do this, I can't stand to see you like this," more tears spilling from my eyes as he turns and leaves the room and when he's gone I let out a loud wailing sob, falling apart completely and Frank doesn't come back, the bedroom door slamming shut a few seconds later. 

An hour later my tears have run dry and I am staring blankly at the tv, not seeing anything that's happening when I hear a door open and then footsteps and as Frank comes into the room I push myself up to sit, looking over and meeting his stare. Frank makes his way in and sits on the edge of the coffee table and we just stare at each other for a long minute before he breaks the silence to say "I think you need some help." "No" I tell him, shaking my head a few times and he frowns and says "Babe you're not dealing with all this, you've gone so far backwards in the last few days and I don't know how to help you anymore, maybe talking to...." "No, I don't want to fucking talk to anyone about it" I shout at him, my hands curling into fists at my sides as I feel my body start to shake with slight fear and anger. "I see it every god damn time I close my eyes, I feel it over and over again in my sleep, it's all I can fucking think about and it makes me sick so no, I don't want to fucking talk about it, to anyone, and have to keep thinking about it even more. I don't want anyone to know what he did to me, I don't want them to know how fucking disgusting and used I am" my voice softening and wavering by the end and I feel the all too familiar burn of my eyes welling with tears and Frank just stares at me, wide eyed and open mouthed and as I push myself up and go to flee the room he stands too and grabs me, pulling me back into his chest and crushing me to him as I break, my knees buckling and my body going limp in his arms as I scream out and start to sob, trying to push myself away from his chest but he just holds me tighter, keeping me pressed against him and taking my hits and pushes, gently shushing me and trying to calm me down, his hand stroking my hair and I feel his tears fall and mix with my own. 

Later that night Frank and I climb into bed together, him having given me a little more space and I feel a little more relaxed, his hands reaching out and guiding me to lay facing him and we just stare at each other, his hand coming to rest on the mattress between our bodies and I slowly slide my hand across and over his, slipping my fingers through his and he smiles softly at me, bringing our hands up to his face and pressing his lips to the back of mine, kissing me twice before guiding them back down and I feel my whole body relax a little more, a small smile tugging at my lips which makes Frank smile wider at me and after another long moment he leans across and pecks my lips, lingering for a second and I press in and kiss him back, our lips slowly moving together, no tongues and when I pull back for air Frank locks eyes with me again and says "You're so fucking beautiful, every single part of you." I close my eyes, shaking my head slightly and I feel Franks warm hand gently cup my cheek and I reopen my eyes to see him frowning at me, his thumb slowly stroking my skin as he says "You are baby, nothing could ever make me think otherwise." I breathe deeply, shifting my body and Franks hand leaves my face as I turn over, facing out into the room with my back to Frank now and when I'm settled I reach out behind me, grabbing his arm and pulling until he's right behind me, his body pressed against my back as I pull his arm around my waist, his hand moving to grab mine and he slips his fingers between mine, tightening his arm and fully holding me and when I feel his lips press a kiss to the back of my neck I melt back into him, feeling comforted and safe now instead of being scared. 

I wake up to early morning sunlight shining on my face and I quickly close my eyes again, shifting back a little and it's only then that I realise Frank is still plastered to my back, our bodies pressed even tighter together now and his arm tightens to squeeze me slightly, letting me know he's awake too and I roll over, pressing my face into Franks neck to shield it from the light and his hand now on my back starts to gently rub up and down, his face burying into my hair and I feel his lips press soft kisses to my scalp. "Good morning beautiful" Frank whispers, keeping his voice soft and low and I snuggle tighter into him, my hand coming up to clench in the front of his shirt between our chests and we lay in silence, Frank holding me while I cling to him and it feels safe and comfortable again, his hand slipping up under my shirt to touch my bare skin as he keeps stroking me and I can't keep in the soft moan of contentment that escapes me. A few minutes later Frank starts to softly hum and sing to me, making me smile and everything that's happened recently, every bad feeling I've had leaves me temporarily and I feel completely relaxed, shifting my head slightly and I start to press soft kisses to Franks neck, sucking just a little as I work my way up and down his skin and his humming turns to soft groans and as I pull my face back from his neck Frank moves too and our lips smash together, my tongue sliding straight into his mouth and Frank immediately follows, his fingers scratching softly against my lower back as he kisses me back, not holding anything back and I find myself getting very turned on, my hand letting go of his shirt to tangle in his hair, tugging slightly and pulling a low whine from him. 

A minute later I have Frank on his back, my body straddling his as we kiss deep and rough, my chest heaving as we pant into each other's mouths between kisses and I slide my hand down, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and tugging it up, Frank sitting up and taking me with him and I sit straddling his lap, our chests pressed together fully now as we continue to kiss and he starts tugging at my shirt too, our kiss breaking for a moment while we take each other's shirts off, throwing them away as our lips collide again and Franks hands grip my hips, pulling me down more against his lap and I feel his hard dick pressed against me, sending a shiver up my spine as I grind down against him, writhing in his lap as we make out and his hands leave my hips to wander my upper body, my hips shifting forward a little so as I grind down into his lap my own hard throbbing dick is rubbing against Frank too and his hands slide down to grip my ass, guiding my movements and I throw my head back and groan out, my neck being attacked with kisses and bites which makes my dick throb even more. I let Frank work my neck for a moment, his hips bucking up to meet my grinding now too and I can't take it any longer, needing more as lust completely takes over me and I shove Franks chest, knocking him back down and instead of leaning back down over him I slide backwards, moving down to straddle his thighs and my hands grab the waistband of his pants, tugging them down before he even realises what's happening and his dick springs free, the flesh hard and swollen and the head is shiny and slick, my own dick leaking a little too as I lean down and take him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the head quickly before sliding down and taking him into my throat, no hesitation and Frank chokes out "Babe are you......oh fuck yes" his hips bucking up a little and driving himself further into my throat and I relax and just take it, working my way back up and suckling at the head and Frank let's out the sexiest noise I've ever head his hips bucking slightly and I grab them, forcing him back down into the mattress and holding him there as I slide down again, my nose pressed into his lower stomach as I work him in my throat and I feel Franks whole body shaking beneath my hands, the noises coming from him making me smirk to myself as I realise how far gone he is already and when I slide back up I release him from my mouth with a wet pop, tilting my head to look up at Franks face and he sits back up, one hand coming to tangle in my hair as he pulls me back up to smash his lips to mine, his other hand sliding down my stomach and coming to cup my hard leaking dick through my pants and I buck forward into his touch as I bite down on his lower lip, sucking for a second before pulling away and Frank tips us to the side, slamming my back into the mattress as he scrambles to climb over me. 

"Fuck Frank, ohhhhh" I groan out as Franks mouth sucks my dick in, his hands having made quick work of pants and they're on the floor on the other side of the room, his hand coming to gently rub and tug at my balls and I feel my whole body shake, feeling overheated and over sensitive and every touch from Frank is sending jolts of pleasure through my whole body and it's never been this intense before, my body feeling overwhelmed and over worked but in the best possible way and I never want this to end. Frank continues to suck my dick, blowing my mind and as I let my eyes slip closed again, my head pressing back into the mattress as another groan of pleasure rips from my chest, his mouth slides off me, his hands gripping the back of my thighs and pushing them up and suddenly his tongue licks a wet stripe over my hole, not hesitating in starting up a rhythm and my body alternates between tensing, slight doubt creeping back into my mind and pushing into it even more, my lower stomach getting soaked with Franks saliva and the precum leaking from my dick. Frank continues to tongue fuck my ass for what feels like hours, my body twitching and writhing against the mattress and I have one hand firmly tangled in his hair, tugging harshly when something feels particularly good and Franks mouth starts working it's way back up, my balls being sucked on now and I want more, knowing how good I could feel and I pull Frank back away from my balls by his hair as I groan out "Frank please fuck me."


	78. Chapter Seventy Eight

Frank pauses for just a moment, staring into my eyes before he starts nodding slightly, shifting off me to reach for the lube in the bedside drawer and I take a second to try and settle the nerves creeping up on me and by the time Frank climbs back over me, lube in hand, I am breathing deep and even with my eyes closed. I feel Frank settle above me, his hand gently touching my cheek right before his lips press to mine and I kiss back, tangling one hand in the back of his hair again and holding him there while I regain my composure and by the time we pull away I feel ready. Frank kneels back between my legs and pops the cap on the lube, slicking up two fingers and as he gently presses them to my hole he pauses, leaning back down over me and whispering "Are you sure baby? We can stop if you want." I shake my head, swallowing hard before saying "No, please keep going." Frank locks eyes with me again before nodding and as his lips press to mine one of his fingers gently slides it's way inside me, my muscles instinctively tensing and making it harder on both of us and Frank pulls back just a little, our noses brushing as he coos "Baby you gotta relax, it's just me" and I nod, trying my best but after a few thrusts of his finger I'm still a little tensed so Frank starts kissing his way down my body, licking across my stomach before sinking his mouth down over my dick again and I can't keep back the low groan that rips from my chest, his tongue working me perfectly as he slips a second finger into me, my whole body relaxed and open for him. 

Frank fingers me for a while, thrusting and moving his fingers inside me, rubbing against all the spots that drive me crazy and by the time I manage to choke out that I'm ready I'm right on the edge of cumming and I tug harshly at his hair, trying to remove his mouth from me but he ignores me, groaning around my dick at the feeling of me pulling his hair and as he slides right down again his fingers rub against a particularly sensitive spot inside me and I lose it, bucking my hips and driving myself further into his throat as I cum, Frank pulling back just a little and I keep cumming, steam after stream shooting from me but he works me the whole way through it, cum running out of his mouth and dripping down his chin by the time I'm done and I slump back into the mattress, my whole body tingling and feeling loose. Frank pulls back from my slowly softening dick, swallowing and licking his lips and he smiles up at me, his fingers slowly slipping from my hole and he grabs the corner of the sheet, wiping his face off before leaning up to kiss me again, both of us getting lost in it and I barely register his hand moving between us, slicking his dick up and when we break the kiss Frank shifts a little, pressing the head of his dick to my hole before pushing forward and he slides inside me in one slow smooth motion, my body so relaxed and blissed out I barely think about it other than how good it feels and how much I love having Frank inside me. When he's fully inside me Frank pauses, pushing himself up a little to take in my face and I stare up at him, one hand sliding down his back to grab at his ass and he smiles and leans back down, pulling his hips back before thrusting them forward again as he murmurs against my lips "Gonna make you feel so good baby, just the way you deserve. Gonna fuck you until you explode for me again and again, would you like that?" I nod, my whole body heating at the thought and I feel my half hard dick twitch as it starts to fill out again and Frank smirks at me before slipping his tongue back into my mouth, his hips working up a steady rhythm. 

Frank keeps fucking me for what feels like hours, our position changing a few times and I cum again, not as much coming out but Frank fucks me through it, my body weak and spent afterwards but we keep going, my dick remaining not quite as hard but definitely not softening either and we end up with me on my side, Frank spooned up behind me as he thrusts slow but deep inside me, his lips pressing soft kisses to the back of my neck between pants, both of us exhausted but not wanting to stop and when Frank shifts his hips slightly he presses in at a different angle and I moan loudly, a jolt of pleasure shooting up my spine and I turn my head to capture his lips again, Frank leaning over to kiss me and I feel his hand slide down to gently play with my dick, neither of us sure I could even cum again but I feel myself harden just a little more at his touch so I break the kiss to tell him not to stop, Frank smiling down at me as he tells me he wasn't planning on it. "Baby I don't know how much longer I can hold back" Frank tells me a minute later and I tilt my hips, pressing back into him even more as I groan out "Go for it baby." Franks hips pick up their pace a little, snapping into me a little harder and I push back to meet him, his hand still working my dick and a few thrusts later he pushes in so hard he pushes my body across the mattress a little as I feel him start to cum, his teeth sinking into the back of my shoulder and I cry out, slight pain from the bite mixing with the pleasure of my surprise orgasm and I shoot two weak streams of cum onto the sheets, Franks hand stroking me through it as my whole body shakes and trembles and Frank keeps cumming inside me, the whole area feeling wet and slick and I know he must be overflowing me. 

Frank goes to pull out a few minutes later but I reach back and grab for him, trying to keep him with me and he stops moving, tightening his arm around my waist and we lay pressed together, both of us shaking slightly and when Frank softens enough to slip out of me I roll over in his arms and press myself to his chest, pressing my lips to his and we kiss slow and soft, Franks hand sliding up my back to tangle gently in my hair and I sigh into his mouth, my whole body feeling amazing. "How are you feeling?" Frank asks softly, sliding his hand from my hair down to rub my back and I groan softly and say "Tired." Frank chuckles and says "Wore you out did I?" and I shove playfully against his chest making him laugh more. "How about we take a nice hot shower and I'll change the sheets and then we can snuggle back up and take a nap?" Frank asks, keep his voice low, his hand still moving on my back and I groan in response, too blissed out and tired to really respond and Frank presses one last kiss to my nose before letting me go and climbing off the bed, leaving the room and by the time he comes back I have snuggled into his pillow, my eyes closed as I breathe in his smell and the tightness in my chest that's been there for what feels like forever is finally gone.


	79. Chapter Seventy Nine

Later that afternoon I wake up to the smell of something wafting from the kitchen and I stretch out, feeling all my joints pop and a shiver runs through my whole body as I go loose and I can't help the smile that pulls at my lips at the way I feel. I climb out of bed and stumble out in search of Frank, going into the kitchen and when he hears my footsteps he turns from the pot he's stirring, smiling wide at me and I run across the room and into his arms, crushing myself to his chest and he lets out a soft chuckle as he wraps them around my waist and lifts me off the floor slightly while he presses his lips to mine. "I love you" I whisper in his ear as Frank sets me back on my feet and he smiles even wider as he says "I love you too, with all my heart." We stand holding each other for a few minutes, my head resting on Franks shoulder while his hands rub up and down my back and I feel normal again, content and completely in love with my husband and when Frank has to check on the food again he turns and keeps one arm wrapped around my waist while he stirs with the other, bringing the spoon up to my mouth for me to taste the sauce he's working on and I groan softly at the taste, turning my head to look at him as I open my mouth to tell him it tastes perfect but before I can get any words out Franks mouth seals over mine, his tongue licking inside and when he pulls back he smiles and says "Okay its tasting pretty good" making me giggle before I pull away and take a seat at the table, just watching Frank work and just as he turns the burners off, the food ready someone knocks on the front door. 

A few long seconds go by, Frank and I just staring at each other before whoever it is knocks again and Frank says "Do you want me to..." "No I can get it" I tell him, pushing myself up from the table and making my way down the hall to the door, taking a breath before I reach out and open it and I immediately wish I hadn't, the air leaving my lungs and every cell in my brain screams for me to run but my body won't work, my feet frozen to the spot as Ian stares back at me, his face still bruised and slightly swollen in some places and his lips pull into a foul smirk and when he takes a step towards me, his hand reaching out I snap back to myself and I let out a scream, my hand balling into a fist at my side before I drive it up and into his face, catching him off guard and I punch him in the face, his nose gushing blood as he groans in pain and I hear footsteps running behind me but I go on instinct and keep swinging, throwing more punches and I manage to land three more before Ian swings back and I catch his punch to my jaw, my head snapping to the side and that's when I feel myself snap, launching my whole body on him and I throw one more punch, hitting Ian in the nose again and he falls to the floor in the hallway. I drop down onto him, wrapping my hands around his throat and I start to choke him, slamming his head into the floor a few times before he manages to flip us over, driving his fist into my face again and I cry out in pain, Ian's body suddenly lifting off me and I push myself back up, seeing Frank and Ian on the ground nearby, both of them throwing punches and I hear a door open behind me and when I spin around one of our neighbours is standing there watching what's happening and I beg for him to call the police and he nods, his eyes widening at the sight before he disappears back into his apartment. 

Fifteen minutes later Ian is gone and Frank and I are in our apartment, me curled in Franks lap on the couch as he holds me to him, my face buried in his neck as I sob when there's a knock at the door and Frank gently shifts me off his lap, knowing it will be the police and when he comes back two officers are with him and he takes a seat beside me again, letting me curl into his side as the officers take a seat on the opposite couch. Half an hour later I have given a statement to the police, telling them everything that Ian did to me and by the time I'm done I can barely speak, my whole body shaking with fear and the officers assure me he won't be allowed to hurt me again, taking a statement from Frank too and when they're gone I collapse into Franks chest as I sob again and he just holds me, letting me cry it out and by the time I'm done I'm exhausted, slumping over on the couch when Frank leaves the room and I end up falling asleep again. 

The next morning I wake up before Frank, slipping out of bed and going into the living room, turning on the tv as I grab my sketch pad off the table and I start to draw, sketching out the things I see in my dreams when a breaking news headline on the tv catches my attention and I pause to look up, seeing the words 'Rock guitarist Ian Crawford arrested for sexual assault' across the bottom of the screen and I drop my pad and pencil, leaning towards the tv as I hear the reporter say "Arrested this morning over the alleged sexual assault of Gerard Iero, the husband of Crawford's fellow band member Frank Iero. The incident is alleged to have taken place on their most recent tour, coinciding with the band taking an unexpected hiatus from the tour. We will update on this story as more details come to hand." I watch in horror as a picture of Ian in handcuffs, his face busted up as he's being guided towards a police car flashes up on the screen for a few long seconds before it cuts to commercials and I push myself to stand, turning to flee the room but when I turn I see Frank in the doorway, his expression telling me he heard it too and I run into him, his arms grabbing me and he leans in to whisper in my ear "Baby I'm so fucking sorry, I wish I had known so I could have stopped this from getting out like that. Are you okay?" I shake my head, my chest tightening and I gasp for air as the realisation that now the whole world knows fully sets in.


End file.
